"Love Potion #9"
a Gundam Wing Fanfic

by the Princess

**WARNING: foul language, shounen-ai, characters frequently OOC...**

"Love is friendship set on fire."

-old Welsh proverb

~Part 4~

"Taxi!" D'arcy said, waving her arm around in the air, and I was painfully reminded of Hiro's experience the other day. She looked at me and smiled. "This has been a marvelous evening, Duo."

I shrugged, and nearly spoke, but the taxi pulled up on the curb and out stepped a pompous old woman with a squat bull body, and I decided to hold my tongue. I realized that I had forgotten to ask Acchi Ikeyo just how long the spray lasted in the mouth, but it was better not to risk it. The woman looked like she could easily beat the shit out of me, after all. We sat down in the taxi, and D'arcy told the driver the name of the street she lived on. Then she turned back to me, and I was sucked into her huge green eyes. "Seriously, Duo," she said, smiling, "what's different about you tonight? Something seems to have changed about you, but I can't think of it for the life of me."

"I don't know," I whispered, hoping the driver wasn't gay. "Is it a good change?"

There was an interesting light in her eyes. It was the look of one who is seeing something which, perhaps, she should have seen the entire time. "Hai. Definitely a good change."

"Then I take all the credit," I said, risking to put my arm around her. She laughed and relaxed into the crook of my arm, snuggling into my shoulder. A few stray strands of her fiery hair brushed up against my cheek, tickling me; I thought I was going to die then and there, from happiness. I (yet again) wished for a jacket to drape across my crotch, before she noticed something embarrassing.

"Take your time in getting us home," D'arcy called out to the driver, who, probably glad at getting extra cash, responded affirmatively in Mandarin.

I had always had a horrible concept of time, but during that taxi ride, it was completely shot. It seemed to be a little lifetime all its own, and I was noticing all the little details that I normally wouldn't have given any thought to: her skirt was riding high on her sweet thigh, and the cloth had a small spaghetti sauce stain near the hem; the shadows played tag over her legs as we passed the streetlights; her hair smelled like herbal shampoo and something else, musky, underneath; her freckles were so cute that I wanted to kiss each one in turn; she had a tiny but deliberate scar on her swan neck, old but still angry and red, like a razor's cut. And, of course, the fact that I was madly in love with her.

>Then realize the fact that you are only here because you're using her.<

>Shut up. I only want this one moment.<

>Then it's not love, it's rape. And you're no better than any of her old customers.<

>Stop it, that's not true.<

>Then why are you trying to win her over with magic? Why not with your incredibly sexy body, excellent wit and extraordinary length of your sexual organ?<

>Because, in case you haven't been paying attention, she's in love with HIRO!<

Then that pesky little voice shut up, and I hoped that I would be able to get some without it perking up suddenly and ruining everything.

"Duo? Are you all right?" She twisted up her fingers in the loose hair at the bottom of my braid. God, it gave me shivers.

"Y-y-yeah. Just dwelling on depressing stuff."

"Then stop. Live in the moment."

"I think I will," I said, and kissed her without really thinking about it.

Later, much later, I rolled over in the bed and looked her over. Her small but vivacious form was draped in the bedsheets and nothing else. Her hair was loose and wild, like a cloud of fire, spread over her pillow. My own hair was loose as well, but much longer, of course. I had to be rather careful not to get all tangled up in it myself. I gently brushed a finger over her face, tracing her nose and eyes, her full lips, her jaw and her slim neck, and I lingered for a moment on that little scar. Then I gently blushed little kisses on her eyes, on her cheeks; I didn't kiss all of her freckles, but I got close; then I finished it by carefully kissing her lips, like they were made of glass.

"Mmmph..." she mumbled in her sleep. She rolled over and cuddled up next to me, still sleeping soundly enough, and I held her tightly.

But what she said next made me gently roll her off me, then put my clothes on, and leave the apartment, trying not to cry:

"Hiro..."

It was late in the morning, and I was rustling up my breakfast and thinking of an excuse to hand my boss. Hiro came in, with the biggest smile on his face, from the front door. He hadn't been in last night when I'd gotten back from D'arcy's (shock of shocks), and it was just as well, because I had come in crying and hadn't stopped for some time. I had made quite a racket, and there wouldn't have been a way to hide it from Hiro, and if he'd tried to come in and comfort me, I probably would have killed him. He was obviously having better luck than I did, which was just peachy for him.

"What'd you do?" I asked, my mouth full of cereal.

He flushed. "Well...I went to this place that I *thought* was a bar."

"You 'thought'? What was it called?"

"Black Leather Dungeon."

I spit out my cereal. "Dude, that's a dominatrix whorehouse! You thought it was a bar?"

"I don't know, man. That love potion has a really pungent scent. It got me disoriented so I didn't know half of what I was doing."

>Wish I could say the same.< "I told you not to spray too much this time around, baka. So what happened?"

"Well, let's just say that a cockney-speaking, whip-wielding little number named Hellcat is currently wrapped around my pinky finger."

I shook my head. "Just remember to call her on the hour, or you'll lose the charm."

"Right." He started into his bedroom, then stopped. "What about you, Duo? How'd you do? Or should I say, 'Who'd you do?'"

I grinned. "Nobody important."

When I got back from work, Hiro had dinner waiting for me--burgers and Cokes from Mickey D's. I dug in with a gleeful yell, doing my best towards pretending that my heart hadn't been dropped in a cuisinart last night. He was my best friend, and sometimes I thought I was in love with him, and sometimes I thought I wanted to kill him; but he was only aware of the first and foremost on that list, and I wanted to keep it that way. Best that he never know.

He was looking at me oddly, though, throughout the entire meal, and when it was done, he said: "Why did you use the potion on D'arcy?"

I had been picking my teeth with a toothpick. I involuntarily snapped it into little pieces. "How do you know that?"

"She called today, before you got home. She was distraught, Duo. She felt like she cheated on me. She thinks you slipped roofies into her drink or something. I only just talked her out of going to the cops, for God's sake. Why didn't you bother keeping up the charm?"

"Because she's in love with you," I snapped, horrified to feel tears start to sting my eyes.

"What?"

"She's in love with you. She told me that many times over. And then...and then, when she was sleeping...I kissed her...and she thought I was you...she wrapped her arms around me...and whispered your name in my ear..." To my utter humiliation, I *did* start crying, big, fat tears and hiccupy sobs.

"Oh, Jesus," I heard him say, and he got up out of his chair and knelt down next to mine. He gave me an awkward hug. "Jesus, Duo. I had no idea that--"

"I hate you!" I suddenly screamed, shoving him away and on his ass. My resolve that he should never know exactly how I felt went out the window. "I fucking HATE you! I can't stand the way you can be so clueless! How you could have sat there in that restaurant and left D'arcy to that wolf! How you can keep right on throwing all of the love that comes your way into the garbage disposal! Did you know that over half the girls I hook you up with are girls I asked out myself?! And every single time it's been the same: 'Oh, well, you're sweet, but I'd rather date Hiro', so I get you to go out with them because I love you and want you to be happy, and I want her to be happy! And every time, without fail, you scare the girl off and ruin all my plans for you! And THEN, I finally get a chance! I get a chance with this goddam poison spray, I get a chance to be HAPPY for once! Not just the pretend happy bullshit that I always do, but the real kind, the kind of happy that makes you lightheaded and dizzy and makes you feel like you've done some dynamic weed without the hallucinations! I get a chance to have girls crawl all over me, and whisper *my* name as they nuzzle my neck and get naked with me! And I can't even be happy then, because it's fake! It's all fucking FAKE! And even when I do use the charms, even when I have someone ensnared in the web of lies, it does no good, cuz she's still in love with YOU! All anybody ever wants is a little handful of love, somebody to love, and all I wanted was...I don't know anymore..." I had cried the whole time, but didn't know it; I was screaming until my voice broke, but didn't know that, either. Hiro was sitting where I had knocked him to the ground, he hadn't moved a muscle, he was staring at me slackjawed, but even if I had known it at that point, I wouldn't have given a shit. The only thing I could think was: >That's it, it's over, he'll either threaten to kill me now or tell me to get the fuck out, and it's all I deserve--<

"Duo."

I looked at him. He was getting up off the floor. "N-n-nani?" I whispered. I didn't have the energy to say anything above a low hiss.

"You are insufferable."

I laughed at that, though I didn't feel like laughing. It made a dead, wheezing noise.

"I mean it, goddammit. You're fucking crazy. What's wrong with you, really? I was under the impression that we were best friends. That we could tell each other anything. Particularly over the past few days, ever since this funky shit with the love potions started. I've felt closer to you than I ever have before. Was all of that a lie? Am I mistaken in thinking we're friends?...God, am I really such a shit?"

"Hai," I said softly. "You are. Sometimes."

"Why don't you tell me? Look, Duo," he said, taking me by the hands and leading me to the couch, "we're not at war anymore. The war's been over for three years now. We're both grown men, and we're both trying to deal with it as best we can. If I act like a shit, then it's just the residue of who I used to be. I'm not even aware of it anymore when it happens. I need you to tell me when I start sticking my head up my ass, because I no longer have a viable excuse to jam it up there.

"I had no clue about half of what you were just talking about. You never told me a thing. Why is that? I've been telling you things over the past few days which I never told anyone. You think I just go around and introduce myself by saying 'Oh, by the way, I've never kissed a girl before and I have no people skills whatsoever'? I know I don't have any right to say I'm mad at you, but I *am* a little upset that you don't trust me as much as I thought you did."

My mouth was dry. I hadn't realized that I might wind up hurting Hiro by keeping all of that inside. I had kept my mouth shut because I thought it was for his own good, after all. I told him as much.

"It still hurts, Duo. Don't you *ever* keep something like that from me again, all right?"

I nodded. He was holding my hands still, and his thumb was gently stroking my knuckles. It felt nice.

"And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I got you that angry. I should have known that there was something the matter. I knew that you really liked D'arcy, I could see that in the way your eyes lit up every time her name came up. But I didn't even think to dwell on how much you liked her. I was completely thickheaded over the entire thing."

"That makes two of us," I said hoarsely.

He smiled; it was like sun breaking through clouds. "So now that we've established that we're both thickheads, I propose a deal. We both keep each other totally in the know. No more keeping secrets between the two of us. Nothing but honesty, truth, and peace in the valley. Deal?"

"Deal." I glanced down at our hands, which were already tightly clasped, and I knew that I was beyond the warning feeling, the one that went off when my heart threatened to fall in love with him. Way beyond it. It was over. "Hiro--"

"Wait a second." He released my hand. "Something you said just caught up with me."

"Hiro--"

"You said that you hook girls up with me because you like them--"

"Hiro--"

"And you said you loved me."

"Fuck," I replied, and kissed him. It was like when I kissed D'arcy; I did it without thinking, but Hiro understandably responded very differently. *She* had pressed her lips up tightly against mine, like she wanted to steal my air, and her hands had gone snaking around my neck and got tangled in my hair. Hiro's cobalt eyes went wide, big as dinner plates, and he stiffened up like he wished he could turn into a steel pole. My own eyes went wide, once I realized what I was doing, and I backed away from Hiro so fast that I fell of the couch and lay splayed on the carpet.

"Are you all right?" he asked, looking concerned, but too stunned to make a move to help me.

"Sure," I said, getting an insane urge to laugh. "Everything's coming up roses." I pushed myself to a sitting position. "Hiro--"

"What?" he said, a little too quickly.

Now that I had his attention, I had no clue what the hell I wanted to say. I decided to wing it. "Look, man, don't freak and start thinking that you've got some residue in your mouth. You don't. And don't think I'm going to use it on you, either. I won't. I've always...wondered, you know? Exactly how I felt about you. Mostly I saw you as a friend, but sometimes it'd swing in one direction or the other, and I'd either be two inches away from killing you or kissing you. I never imagined that I'd actually *act* on either of those impulses...But Hiro..." How to explain? "The kissing feeling's been getting stronger ever since I got the damn potion. And the nagging jealousy over your sexual exploits. Maybe it's because you've become so more carefree, so much more comfortable around me, and damn if I haven't screwed that up...But there have been so many chances for you to just say 'Fuck this, it's crazy and stupid, and so are you, so omae o korosu'--"

He actually smiled at that.

"--And you haven't. To be frank, you're more human now than I've ever seen you, and I think I like the man I've seen in you of late. And, well, that's a lie, isn't it? Because I don't just like you. I usually have this warning feeling, this squelching in my stomach that says: 'Chotto matte, baka, you're going too far,' and I stop...but I must have bypassed that son of a bitch a while ago, because I love you, Hiro."

I stopped, and looked at a soy sauce blotch on the carpet, and was a little surprised that the typical 'ooops' music didn't thunder through the apartment: dun dun DUUUUN!!! I didn't want to see what Hiro's expression was, didn't want him to look at mine. I suddenly realized that, in all of my eighteen years, I had never been as scared as I was right now. Well, there was the one time--no, wait, that was a movie. Yeah, this was the most scared I'd ever been. I'd said that I'd managed to draw Hiro out at last, but would he 'retreat' at the threat of being loved?

As it turned out, I didn't find out then. Hiro wordlessly got up and left the room. I heard him go into his bedroom, heard the latch click, then heard the water go on in his shower. The water ran for over an hour, but I didn't move from that spot on the carpet, I didn't even know when Hiro got out of the shower, because my eyes got heavier and heavier as time went by and I didn't even know I'd fallen asleep.

I woke up to my alarm, slowly swimming out of sleep as my arm--an involuntary reaction--swung into a fist and knocked the clock halfway across the room. I sat up in my bed, yawning and stretching and wondering why I had to get up at that ungodly hour, when I realized that something wasn't right with this picture.

Hadn't I fallen asleep in the living room?

I looked around my bedroom, unsure of myself for a moment. Why *was* I in my room? Had Hiro--

I got out of bed and went into the shower without completing the thought. There was no hot water left.

"Arigatou and enjoy!" I said, grinning gamely at my customer, as I handed him a sackful of anime. He nodded and grinned back; his teeth were caked with braces and yellow shit which I quickly put out of my mind. He left, and I blew out a sigh. He'd been an ugly little pimple, but he'd donate money to the Feed Duo This Week Fund, so I wasn't complaining.

No one else was in the store except for an old biddy flipping through the porno section. I smirked as I dug some nail clippers out of my pocket and started paring away. I needed something to occupy my hands; idle hands did the Devil's work, and busy hands kept the mind from being idle, and idle minds dwelled on hellish memories.

I ran out of nails. I started diddling with the end of my braid, twisting my fingers in the elastic band and twining them in the loose hair. The old bag was the only thing keeping me from closing the store, and if she didn't make her choice soon, I'd run her out and close shop anyhow. It wasn't like any of my friendly co-workers had stayed as late as I had...although I did have to make up time anyhow.

"Duo?"

I started and yanked out a few strands of my hair. "Hiro?"

He stood in the doorway. "You're late," he said. "It's past eight. I got worried."

"That's touching, but I had to do some overtime. Don't worry, we're closing now."

"We?"

"But," the old woman started, holding up a video which had people doing unspeakable things to goats on the cover. "But--"

"We're closed, ma'am," I said firmly. Hiro ushered her out for me as I flicked out the lights, locked the register, then joined him outside and locked the door. "There!" I said, grinning hugely, the jester's mask firmly in place. "Now that that's done, let's rustle up some grub! I'm ten ounces away from blowing off into the wind! How about some Italian? I've got a hankering for something smelly and fattening, and the Italiains--"

"Duo?"

"Ne?"

And then, he kissed me, just as quick and simple as you please. He wasn't very good at it. After all, thought he'd been getting nookie every night for the past several nights, no one had bothered to educate him on the simpler things. It was nice, though, his mouth was warm and willing, my arms went around his neck and pulled him close as he could get, and when his hands worked into my braid and got entwined with my hair...it was magic.

When it broke, I saw that he was blushing, and I let myself giggle "Kawaii!" and poke at his cheeks. He mumbled something which might have been a curse, or just "Whatever", I don't know, because he dived right in for another and I lost my horrid concept of time. His fingers left my braid, and he ran his hand down my back, like a massage, and God I got the shivers. I plunged one of my hands into his hair and laid little carresses on his neck and back with the other, small and expert, and I knew he got the shivers too, and I would have smiled if my mouth hadn't been occupied otherwise.

"We need to go back home now," Hiro mumbled in my ear when we came up for air. It felt so good to be in his arms, to be held up tight against him, that I barely heard the words. "People are staring."

"Let them," I whispered back, planting a little kiss on the neck, below the ear, and he gave a little gasp. I nearly gasped as well, for I found on that spot on his neck a little battle scar, small and old but still angry and red.

"But--"

"You're right. Let's go back," I said, grinning. "Your education will take place in private."

And in the end, the apt pupil's skill nearly exceeded his teacher's.

Late in the night (morning? I never can tell), I woke up and looked him over, wonderingly. His tall and muscular form was draped in the bedsheets and nothing else. I noted the way his mouth slowly murmured as he dreamed. I had to be rather careful not to get all tangled up in my hair, which had been loosened at some point in time--was it in the taxi, I wondered, or in the hall, and how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? I gently brushed a finger over his face, tracing his nose and eyes, his sweet lips, his jaw and his strong neck, and I lingered for a moment on that small battle scar. Then I gently blushed little kisses on his eyes, on his cheeks; then I finished it by carefully kissing his lips, like they were made of glass.

"Mmmph..." he mumbled in his sleep. He rolled over and cuddled up next to me, still sleeping soundly enough, his arms wrapping firmly around my waist, and I held him tightly.

And what he said next in his sleep, in this mysterious play upon what had happened 24 hours ago, wound up making me cry, but instead of leaving the apartment, I only held him tighter and kissed him all the deeper:

"Duo..."

I woke up at noon to the sound of the phone ringing. I hadn't bothered to plug in the clock after I knocked it out of the socket yesterday morning. I crawled away from Hiro, loathe as I was to do it, and wrestled it off the hook on the fourth ring. I grumbled something which might have been a greeting; Hiro woke up beside me, groaning and covering his eyes in denial of the sunlight. "Who the fuck would call at this hour?" he mumbled.

I listened to the person at the other end of the line, and hung up after a few seconds. "I'll tell you who'd call me at high noon," I replied, snuggling up next to him and resting my head on his chest. "My boss, firing my lazy ass."

That woke him up. "Oh, God, Duo, gomen."

"Not a big deal. That just means you're working for two now." I gave him a gentle kiss.

"Duo..."

"What-o?"

"Nothing." We lay there together for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's company, and then Hiro said again: "Duo?"

"What-o?"

"We don't *need* the love potion anymore, do we?"

It went down the garbage disposal five minutes later, and the Gypsy's business card was ripped in two and flung out the window.

The next week was like that first kiss had been: magic. Since I got fired, I spent my days in relative leisure, keeping up with the soaps on TV, surfing the Net, and making phone calls to the places in the classifieds I outlined in red. No one seemed to be on the recieving end of the calls. I also kept myself busy by learning how to cook, and while most stuff remained beyond my grasp, it got to where I could grill a mean swiss-mushroom-bacon-burger and cook up some fries, besides. Every evening, Hiro got home at half past seven, and we ate, and then the rest of the night was ours. It was simply marvelous, and it was all the more so because it was *real*.

He never once told me that he loved me, but I understood.

One night, a week after the potion was demolished, Hiro was late from work. I had cooked up the burgers and fries special, *exactly* the way God intended them to be made, hot and greasy and perfect. I didn't really think too much on his being late; there were plenty of reasons as to why he was: traffic, overtime, too many customers who wanted their own dinners. I didn't really start worrying until half past seven turned into half past eight, then half past nine. I sat at the kitchen table, staring first at the burgers as they congealed in their own juices, then at the front door, then at the telephone.

He didn't call that night. I went to bed alone, laying there and staring at the mute telephone until I involuntarily dropped into sleep, panic chewing away at the inner wires of my mind like rats. By the time I woke up, panic had completely demolished any sane thought in my mind, and I made approximately 261 circuits of the apartment (from my bedroom to the front door) before I got a hold of myself enough to make breakfast.

I waited by the phone the whole day, doing my best to pretend that I wasn't waiting by the phone. It rang twice--a solicitor first, then Quatre, calling to check up on us and see if we were still alive. I cussed out the first and sobbed out my troubles to the second, but hung up before the Arab could devise a response.

I was eating the burgers I'd cooked yesterday for dinner--they were thick and nasty by then--when the phone rang for the third time. I picked it up in the middle of the first ring. "Hiro?"

He sounded surprised and dazed. "Hai. How'd you know?"

"Where the hell are you?! I've been freaking out all day! You didn't come home last night, and you didn't call, I was just getting ready to call the cops and report you missing!!"

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"I guess not."

"Duo, something amazing has happened. I want you to come over to the house on Peace and Floyd as soon as possible. I'll be waiting for you outside, all right?"

I felt like I was in a dream, or a nightmare. I immediately hung up and was down the ten flights of stairs in record time. I caught the first taxi I saw and paid the Indian who drove it double fare to drive twice as fast. I got to Peace Street and Floyd Avenue in ten minutes, though it was on the polar opposite side of town. I paid the cabbie and saw Hiro standing outside of the biggest house in the city.

The vast majority of people who lived in the city made out their lives in the huge apartment buildings in the core of downtown. The richer you got, the further east you went, until the people who lived on the hem of the city's eastern skirts managed to afford their own mansions. I had recognized the directions to be in this side of town, but for him to be outside the biggest house--! The fucker had to be a fortress, with 50 plus rooms. The whole thing was done in white and black marble, with huge columns on the 'porch' area. The garden was massive, and from where I stood, I could smell at least five hundred different scented flowers; the sickening sweetness nearly knocked me over.

It was a goddam monster.

I went over to where Hiro stood, which was just outside the place's huge iron gates. "Hey," he said, looking a little dazed, like he was high on white-out.

"Hiro, what's the deal?" I asked.

He gave me a hug, a lingering one, but dodged me when I tried to kiss him. "Come on in, Duo," he said, smiling, taking me by the hands and leading me though the gates, through the massive front door, and into an insanely huge room. Everything in the house was exaggeratingly big, double its normal size in the real world--

And everything was pink.

"Oh, fuck," I swore. I heard footsteps clacking on the linolium, and fearfully turned and looked at the psycho bitch from hell who approached. I glanced at Hiro, and the look of ecstacy on his face was sickening and drugged.

"Relena," he said, as she lightly stepped into Hiro's arms. She smiled at him and batted her eyes, but didn't say a word. "You remember Relena, don't you, Duo? We met up with each other yesterday at my work, and it was like...magic. Can you believe it?"

"No, I can't," I said, and fainted dead away.

Disclaimer

The Gundam boys and anything pertaining to Gundam Wing belong to the creators of the show, not to me, no matter how hard I wish. They are being used without permission for fun, not profit. If you don't know this, then you are a sad sack of shit. Go crawl under a rock and wither up and die. Also, "Love Potion #9" (the movie and the song ) belongs to their writers, and not me; any semblances between the plot of this fanfic and that movie were done very much intentionally. Get over it.

In contrast, D'arcy, Acchi Ikeyo Butsoyo, and any characters not belonging to the Gundam franchise are mine, and may not be used without my permission (God only knows why anyone would want to use them, but...). If you do use them without asking me first, I'm going to get Acchi Ikeyo (which, incidently, means "Go away!") to put a curse on you so nasty that I don't even know what would happen...

On to Part 5

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