WEBZINE OF THE WEIRD
Issue #1, September 2000
REFERENCES TO AUTOFELLATIO IN METALLICA LYRICS by war_on_fun
In Glenn Scheper's brilliant essay, "The Word of God; The Production of Christ," he pontificates ponderously on the role of autofellatio in the religious imagination of man. Hailing as his autofellationary and apparently double-jointed heros a veritable plethora of people from history and mythology, as well as a few modern-day celebrities, he inspires his readers to open their red-rimmed eyes and see the truth. For example, after reading his lengthy and well-researched foray into the psychocosmic implications of man's existential quest to know himself, I immediately took up yoga. Then after about five minutes or so I went back online. I was listening to a Metallica song and wanted to find the lyrics, and it wasn't long before I happened upon a website that had the lyrics to all of the Metallica songs ever released. I began reading, and was shocked to discover that several songs were about just what Mr. Scheper was expounding on.
Believe me, I know how crazy that sounds. But just bear with me, okay? I know what I'm talking about, because I once came close to having a panic attack in a crowded elevator. It was this cosmic break with reality that first opened my mind to the Gnosis, and put me on the thorny serendipidous path to self-knowledge. But you don't have to take my word for it. Just read Mr. Scheper's essay (or do what the true initiate does, and skim over the boring details to get to the good stuff), and then check out the Metallica lyrics I have selected as being particularly relevant to the matter at hand (or in mouth, as the case may be).
First, I would like to point out that there was nothing in Metallica's lyrics that had even the most tenuous connection with autofellatio before they cut their hair and started dressing like deranged constituents of a Colombian drug cartel. Coincidence? I'll let the reader decide. I would also point out the significance of the first album released by the new (reborn?) Metallica being entitled, quite inexplicably (to the uninitiated): "LOAD." A minor third point is that the well-known sexual power symbol of the cigar is displayed most prominently on the back of the album cover, and the design on the front cover leaves no doubt as to the true meaning of the title.
The first song that struck me was "The House That Jack Built," in which the seemingly innocuous lyrics gain a new connotation once one has peeled back one's eyelids a little in a serious and sustained effort to perceive the inscrutable truth:
Open door so I walk inside
Close my eyes
Find my place to hide
And I shake as I take it in
Let the show begin
If this is not enough to convince you, witness James Hetfield's enlightened self-identification with the phallic representation of his god:
It swallows me
As it takes me in its fog
And then, switching back to the perspective of the human performing the autofellationary act:
I twist away
As I give this world the nod
This is one of many references in this album and its sequel, "RE-LOAD," to twisting, which is what one must do in order to obtain the Gnosis through the sublime act of autofellatio. The use of the word nod implies a retreat from the world of the mundane in order to enter the spiritual planes, much as one might trip out on acid or go into a nod while on heroin; it is also a direct reference to the tilting forward of the head that is required before one can successfully obtain the ecstasy of communion with the god within through the laudable and perfectly normal medium of autofellatio. Also particularly significant are the following:
My body, my temple
This temple it tilts
Step into the house that Jack built
It is through the temple of the body, through the mystical and in no way aberrant practice of autofellatio, that James Hetfield comes to know himself, and therefore, god. The tilting of the temple is yet another obvious reference, like twisting and nodding, to the physical position the body must assume during the act. The obscure reference to Jack is explained once one considers the obsession Metallica seems to have with fairy tales and children's nursery rhymes (which are actually dim memories of ancient lore and the fragmentary survivals of the mystical incantations and magical formulas of witches). Also, men's names, especially common ones, are often euphemisms for the male sexual organ. And finally, there is another obvious connection specifically related to the name Jack. "Step into the house that Jack built," refers to the initial step in the journey toward self-knowledge that we all must embark on sooner or later. It is the house that "Jack" built because before one graduates to autofellatio, one almost invariably first develops a single-minded devotion to "jacking off."
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