Gid’s Frequently Replied Questions (FRQ)

Gid is a deity. Read the Book of Gid for details.

OF COURSE HE IS!! If that was your only objection then you will be delighted to see that, YES! He is a fully qualified deity, not only that, he can type 60+ words per minute! The Church of Gid is pleased to present Gid’s formal and personal qualifications:

Formal Qualifications:

Certificate of Dei at the University of New York
Food Chemistry at the American University in Cairo
Advanced Phenomenology at the University of Toronto
Zoology: Animal Diversity at Tokyo University
Economic Geography at UCLA
Power and Ethics at the Beirut Campus of the University of Europe

Personal Qualifications

Best and Fairest TWO years running in the under 11s football team
Brown Belt in Judo
Competent Public Speaker
Prize for History in Year Eleven

A good question, and a fair one. But FEAR NOT, sceptics, there is an answer. OF COURSE Gid is the True deity. Gid has said so Himself. In His speech before Congress in 1974, He eloquently dealt with this issue

‘I am the True Gid, the only Gid, and for that matter what I say is True. Anybody who denies my existence is just being annoying'

Not only that but the sheer LACK of evidence for the book of Gid SUPPORTS its Glorious status. This lack is unparalleled by any other ‘sacred’ book, OF COURSE! The other religions feel the need to FALSIFY their evidence just so they can let ‘reason’ and ‘reality’ decide. A True, devout Gidian knows that ‘reason’ and ‘reality’ can only support the spleen; blind, ignorant faith is the only way to truly conquer its evils. But Gid exists, because we know that Gid exists. He speaks to his Gidians, He feeds them and waters them and gets them wasted when He is happy. He is the only deity who doesn’t care all the time, NATURALLY. A True deity cannot be expected to not have mood swings (for more information, see Argument from Mood Swings). After all, Gid has emotions, something all other ‘legitimate’ deities lack.

There are SO MANY reasons why you should devote your life to the service of Gid, the GreenPrettyFields being only the CREAM OF THE ICEBERG. Membership with the Church of Gid entitles you to free legal advise from Gid Himself, a birthday card EACH YEAR from the Hub of Command, and a belief system which YOU can change and interpret however you want, to ridicule your friends and relatives. Gid will back you up in a fight, and he will buy the drinks when you both lose that aforementioned fight. Gid, though his agents in the biomedical and pharmaceutical industries, will cure you if you have an easy to cure disease. Gid can do anything, it just depends on whether he could be bothered.