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Please Note That These Contests Have Ended!
Results: Instead of choosing winners, highlights of the entries have been selected for publication!
1. Ants 2. Cheese from a month ago when you gave up cheese from your diet 3. Box of cereal. Milk short distance away in cupboard. (Don't tell me this never happened to you...) 4. Bowl of old fruit - Maybe if I keep it cold it will last longer...? 5. 3 bottles of catsup - approx. 5/6 of contents gone in each 6. Could be meatloaf, could be cake...MEATCAKE! (Mike) 7. My purse, the milk is hanging on the doorknob (It's been that kind of week). (Becca) 8. Dead rabbit (apparently the fridge is not a proper environment for cryogenics) 9. A shoe from medieval Russia 10. Some package marked 'Donner' 11. A twinkie that actually went bad 12. Some stuff that can hopefully be used for penicilin 13. Fireflies (the fridge bulb went out) 14. Battle Axe 15. Flare Gun 16. Rubber Duckie 17. Icecube tray filled with icecubes that somehow miraculously melted in the fridge's cold settings (right next to the hot chocolate) 18. A can of catfood (written on a piece of masking tape placed on the can is the word 'Caviar'). (Bill) 19. Mystery Meat. Classic, yet terrifying just the same! (Laura) 20. Rocky Mountain Oysters 21. Spam 22. Thawing Cow Eyes (Doug) 23. That disgusting, smelly, non-dolphin safe tuna sandwich that was made by mom when she realized I was coming home and had forgotten to save food for me (After one bite I felt the calling of God to fast for the night for fear of seeing the previous meals of the day revisit me) (Audrey "Odd")
Winning entry: (Actually the only entry, but hey...)
Gotta Find The Grail by Bryce (To be sung to the tune of "I Got You, Babe")
They say we're dumb,
That we don't know,
Won't find out until we go.
Gotta watch out for Dingo and Zoot.
The witch might turn us into a newt.
[Chorus: Grail,
Gotta find the grail,
Gotta find the grail.
]
I've got Patsy for my guide
But he got shot and then he died.
And some things that float
Are very small rocks
Year-old gravy
And Arthur's gym socks.
This song just goes on and on.
Who knew that it was so long.
That lady over there's a wench.
We take insults from the French.
[Repeat Chorus]
(slowly) Gotta find the grail.
Winning entry:
Kleebnok, by Mike.
Kleebnok is an alien from the planet Zizabatawatabataboinkboinkfree. Now, as you all alredy know, most Zizabatawatans are a bright blue or turquoise. Kleebnok is completely white. Yes, white. White as snow. All of him. He is rather deformed as Zizabatawatans go, and has a mere 5 eyes. They are stuck on long tenticle like extentions on his head. He has a large pot-belly...a very odd sight if you compare him to the rest of his people...Kinda makes you want to ask him "What kinda slim-fast are YOU using?". A question that he'd probably answer with a "Slignop go zurdon zoop!" *chuckles* how cute... ANYwho, he has 4 legs which have feet attached to them. His feet are quite large, and what we would consider 'clown' shoes would fit him nicely. He has no arms to speak of and a mouth that would enable him to nearly eat himself in a mere 2 bites. A feat that would place him in the top ranks of his people, but because of his lack of eyes, this is impossible. His emormous mouth is full of dull, brown teeth covered in an acidic green ooze that glows faintly. His breath is bad enough to melt a volkswagon bug or kill a grown adult human in one breath.
He has a most useful super power of being able to count to 25. Why 25? I'm not exactly sure. Everytime I ask him, he says "Gorgonsop justnol hoi...". Officials are still working on the translation of that one...we believe it to be a mild insult.