DATE OF ENTRY:7/16/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:7/16/03
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
This particular night was our 'Kids Night'. Needless to say, most of the customers are families. Because of this, and constant complaining, we banned smoking in our restaraunt on kids night. Well, two old people came in, sat down, and proceeded to light up. When their server went to their table to serve them, they told them that they were not allowed to smoke. The old people got very belligerent with the server, so the server just got them an ash tray and ignored it. As the server was getting the ash tray, one of the other managers noticed, and told the server not to let them smoke. The server told the manager that they were sick of their bitching, so they were not going to deal with it. The manager went over to the table and told them they were not allowed to smoke. At this time, the old people starting yelling loudly. First, the old woman said very loudly "Fuck this! We're getting the fuck out of here!" and she proceeded to storm out, slamming the door. The old guy continued to sit there, bitching at the manager. He basically said "There's no fucking sign that says we can't smoke! Fuck this place. We're never eating here again! FUCK YOU!". He then stormed out as well.
MY THOUGHTS:
If you can not sit through an entire meal without smoking a cigarette, you have a serious problem. First off, it is common fucking sense that smoking would not be allowed when half the people in the store ar under ten years of age. If tha offends you so much, then you really need to just shoot yourself in the foot with a whaling harpoon. I actually ended up doing that for them. As they were leaving, I harpooned their car, pulled it back to the store, pulled each of them out, lit two cigarettes, and placed one firmly up each of their asses. Hopefully the tobacco smoke will burn out whatever bug is up there.
DATE OF ENTRY:7/15/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:7/6/03
LOCATION: The number one amusement park in the world
WHAT HAPPENED:
I was in line for a water ride. At the entrance to every ride there is a sign saying something along the lines of "Smoking in line is cause for removal from the park." Well, as I was waiting in line, three girls next to us started lighting up. These girls looked no older than twelve. One of the employees of the park told them to put them out or be thrown out. They put them out, but of course complained, saying things like,
"But we need our fixes!"
"Fuck you guys, were hardcore, you can't tell us what to do"
MY THOUGHTS:
This whole incident made me sick. First off, these girls were way too young to even look at a cigarette. They probably picked up the habit from seeing "Lung Cancer Barbie" at the toy store where they probably hang out all the time. Also, I have said this many times before, but people who act 'hardcore', 'rough', or 'bad' who are under the age of 18 or have no reason to piss me off. I fucking hate them. The dumbass display I saw in line for the ride made me so sick that I vomited all over their heads (since they were only like 3 feet tall). It sure was a good thing they were getting on a water ride...
DATE OF ENTRY:7/14/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:7/14/03
LOCATION: Internet
WHAT HAPPENED:
Im not gonna try to explain this one. This is a website that I found:
White Gangstaz
MY THOUGHTS:
I have mentioned before that 'wiggers' piss me off. It is obvious that these kids are in no financial hardship, yet they 'rap' about being 'from the streets' and stupid shit like that. I also could not help but notice that they are extremely dumbass, and they really seemed to like the SUVs. That just further proves that SUVs are the dumbest vehicles ever. Stupid crap like this site make me so mad, that eventually I will probably go on a shooting spree, killing all wiggers and SUV drivers. Though I will be in jail, I know that I will have made the world a better place.
DATE OF ENTRY:7/13/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:7/1/03
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
I asked one of the employees to go to the back and get some dishes done. I look through the window to the back about 5 minutes afterwards, and I can see that none of the dishes are done. I go back to investigate, and I see the employee moving a full rack of dishes back and forth across the sink, never actually putting them in the dishwasher. He/she continued to do this for another five minutes, and then I finally went back to yell at him/her. When I asked what they were doing, the person proudly proclaimed "Im doing the dishes!".
MY THOUGHTS:
Does this person expect the dishes to get clean by rubbing them back and forth across the sink? God damn it. I was so shocked by the extreme display of dumbass that I had to sit and think about it for a minute before I could yell at the employee. Once a regained my composure, I went back and told the person that they were a dumbass, and then did three Rolling German Suplex's in a row to the person, the last of which put them through the dish sink.
DATE OF ENTRY:7/12/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:6/13/03
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
One of the employees was in the back filling up a bucket of water. The person picked up the bucket once it was filled, and proceeded to pour it directly on his/her self.
MY THOUGHTS:
I really did not know what to think about that. I have heard of being clumsy, but by the looks of it, this person just dumped the water directly on themselves. I am not sure how they were able to do something so stupid, but it was done. The person was so wet from the water that I had to get the emergency blow dryer we have. (It is in a glass box that says "Break glass in case of wet dumbass"). So I did that and dried the person off, since I was afraid they may be too dumb to operate a blow dryer without incinerating themselves.
DATE OF ENTRY:7/11/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:7/9/03
LOCATION: Email
WHAT HAPPENED:
This is an email that I recieved the other day. I will not try to explain it, just read it for yourself:
JOSEPH WILLIAMS
DIRECTOR PROJECT IMPLEMENTATION (MEMR)
Dear Sir,
I am an Engineer with the South African Ministry of Energy and Mineral
Resources and I am also a member of the Republic of South Africa Contract
Award and Monitoring Commitee in the Ministry of Energy and Mineral
Resources. It is a pleasure involving you in this project. Although, this
may sound strange but I seek your indulgence and pray you view it
seriously.
Two years ago, a contract was awarded to a foreign firm in the Ministry of
Energy and Mineral Resources by my committee. This contract was over
invoiced to the tune of US$14.3Million. This was done delibrately. The over
invoicing was a deal by my commitee to benefit from the project. We now
desire to transfer this money which is in a suspense account with the MEMR
into any oversea account which we expect you to provide for us.
For providing the account where we shall remit the money, you will be
entitled to 30% of the money, 10% will be set aside for expenses incurred
by both parties during course of transfer, while the remaining 60%will be
for my partners and myself.
I would require the following:
1)Bank details ( Name and address / Account no/Beneficiary name )
2)Private Telephone and Fax number of Beneficiary
The above information would be used to make formal application as a matter
of procedure for the release of the money and onward transfer to your
account. It does not matter whether or not your company does contract
projects of this of this nature described here, the assumption is that your
company won the major contract and subcontracted it out to other companies.
More often than not, big trading companies or firms of unrelated fields
win major contracts and subcontract to more specialized firms for execution
of such contracts. We have strong and reliable connections, top government
contacts at the South Africa Reserve Bank and Ministry of Finance and we
have no doubt that all this money will be released and transferred if we
get the necessary foreign partner to assist us in this deal. Therefore, when
the business is successfully concluded we shall through our connection withdraw
all documents used from all the concerned Government Ministries for 100%
security. We are civil servants and we will not want to miss this
opportunity.
Please contact me immediately through my above Telephone or email contact,
whether or not you are interested in this deal. If you are not, it will
enable me scout for another foreign partner to carry out this deal. But
where you are interested, send the required informations aforementioned
herein without delay as time is of essence in this business.
I want to assure you once again that this transaction is 100% risk free
both now and in the future.
I await in anticipation of your fullest co-operation.
Yours faithfully,
JOSEPH WILLIAMS
MY THOUGHTS:
Wow. I have never seen a more blatant attempt to steal someone's account numbers. I think the funny part is that Joseph Williams' email address ended in netscape.com. Shouldn't he have an address ending in southafrica.com or something? Whoever wrote this letter is a dumbass in it's purest form, thinking that someone would be so stupid as to hand over their account numbers. The unfortunate truth is that someone will, and these people will take them for every penny they have. When that happens, you can trust me that I will have the story on this very page. Until then, just leave your credit card numbers in the guestbook please so that I can send you an official Daily Dumbass t-shirt. Yeah, that's it, t-shirt...
DATE OF ENTRY:7/10/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:7/7/03
LOCATION: On the road
WHAT HAPPENED:
I was driving down the street with a person in front of me. The person put on their left turn signal as we approached a traffic light. Well, they went right through the light and did not turn. They then turned onto a side street about 300 feet past the light.
MY THOUGHTS:
Why in the hell did they turn the signal on before the light if they were not going to turn there? Stupid people on the road really piss me off. As a matter of fact, I ended up following the car down the side street they turned on and blasted ice cream truck music out of my car, then when they got out thinking they could buy ice cream, I bludgeoned them in the head with my shoe and said "now you know how I feel around all you fucking idiots" and drove off.
DATE OF ENTRY:7/9/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:7/9/03
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
I was counting down the drawers at the end of the night, when I came across a most interesting roll of pennies. The person that had given it to us wrote his name and phone number on it, which a lot of businesses require. Well, I will not put the name on here, but here is his phone number: (note: I replaced the first three with 555 for protection of the fucking stupid)
555-51361
MY THOUGHTS:
I should not have to explain this one to you. What is this guy from the UK or something? I know in the US (the country where pennies are used) we have seven digits in our phone numbers. Apparently this guy thinks he is above everyong else and he went ahead and added an eigth. God damn it. Since obviously I can not call the guy to tell him he is stupid, I had to look his name up on google.com. Well, I did that, found out his email, and signed him up for a weekly email subscription to Martha Stuart E-Living. That will teach him to decorate his phone number with an extra fucking digit.
DATE OF ENTRY:7/8/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:7/8/03
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
This is not so much an account of one person being a dumbass, but many people being a giant collective dumbass. The night before, we had a huge thunderstorm that knocked out power in a lot of areas for a long time. Well, that day we could not open our store because of not having power. We finally got our power back at 3 pm, and were able to open up at 4:15 pm. Well, by this time, another storm was rolling in. The power was starting to flucuate again. So I was trying my hardest to get the store closed down, since lightning was striking fifty feet away, and there was a tornado nearby. Well, I could not close down because for some reason, everyone decided that it would be a great time to go out to eat. We had our drive-thru wrapped around the building, and out dining room was packed.
MY THOUGHTS:
In the words of one of the other employees there, "anyone eating here right now should be ashamed of themselves". This is so true. What the fuck are you doing going out to eat at a fast food restaraunt when there is lighting striking next door, a tornado 3 miles down the road, and hail the size of a 40 watt appliance bulb tearing up the cars outside!! I wanted to get the fuck out, but they wanted to come the fuck in. It just shows that there is strength in numbers. When you get so many dumbasses together, they can do something so blazingly stupid. I ended up being so shocked by it that I shit my pants, which went into the food.
DATE OF ENTRY:7/7/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:7/7/03
LOCATION: On the road
WHAT HAPPENED:
I was picking my sister up from work. On the way home, I stopped at a red light. There was one car in front of me. When the light turned green, I could see that the person in front of me was fixing their make up or something, so they obviously did not see the green light. So after about ten seconds of sitting at a green light, I honked my horn to get them to go. After the person looked up and started going, they turned around, looked at me, and flipped me off.
MY THOUGHTS:
This person was obviously being a dumbass by sitting at the light playing with their make up or whatever the hell they were doing. Then when they got mad at me for honking at them, that just made them look dumber than they already were. I had to seek revenge, obviously, so I flipped the secret switch under the seat of my car, and blew them up with my weapon of mass destruction mounted on the front of my car. (I was holding onto it for Saddam, but I don't think he will want it back, so I used it.)
DATE OF ENTRY:7/6/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:7/6/03
LOCATION: On the road
WHAT HAPPENED:
I had spent the day at the number one amusement park in the world*. I was on my way home that night, and on one of the many highways home, I encountered a dumbass. I was in the left lane of two lanes, when a car came barrelling up behind me. Now mind you, I was going 5 mph over the speed limit, which is as fast as a person should ever go. So needless to say, this guy was riding my tail, so I was going to get over to the right for him. I flipped on my signal, but then he just flies around me anyways. When he got to my right side, he began to flip out. He was swearing and flipping me off.
*Side note: I can not tell you the name of the amusement park, since this site tries to remain completely anonamous. But I think you can figure it out. There obviously is only one number one amusement park in the world. When I was there, I rode the new coaster, which is the tallest, steepest, and fastest coaster in the world. I recommend that you check it out.
MY THOUGHTS:
People like this piss me off. Obviously, he just couldn't wait for me to move over. Like I said before, 5 mph over the speed limit is as fast as anyone should ever go, and since that is how fast I was going, this guy should of never had a problem. But apparently, his small penis overrides any rational thought he may have.
DATE OF ENTRY:7/5/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:7/5/03
LOCATION: On the road
WHAT HAPPENED:
I was leaving the store, and was trying to make a right turn onto the main road. There were too many shrubs and things in the way, so I could not get a good enough view to make a right turn on red. So I decided to wait until the light was green. Well, a man in a blue truck came up behind me, and because he was in a truck, he could see over the bushes, and could see that the way was clear. So he began to get very upset that I was not turning. He then started honking his horn at me and waving his arms. Once the light turned green, I turned, and he turned into the lane next to me. When he got up next to me, he flipped me off and started yelling things that I couldn't hear, since he wasn't motivated enough to open the window to his car. He then cut in front of me and slammed on his brakes. Then he sped off and went onto some side street.
MY THOUGHTS:
There are so many things about this that are very stupid. One, he was getting so upset that I wasn't turning. He had to wait a total of 30 extra seconds. Come on, you can't be in that much of a hurry to get to the tractor pull or whatever the fucking hillbilly was going to. Two, if you want to yell obscenities at someone on the road, you should roll your fucking window down! Three, what purpose did it serve to cut me off and slam the brakes? None at all. People like this are the reason that I have to pay 20 times more for my car insurance. Horse fucker.
DATE OF ENTRY:7/4/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:7/4/03
LOCATION: Outside of house
WHAT HAPPENED:
I was outside with friends waiting for the city fireworks to start. The fireworks are set off in a field directly behind my house, so we always sit in the backyard and watch. The fireworks we supposed to start at 10 pm. Well, it is approximately 9:15 pm, and I was across the street in my neighbors backyard. All of a sudden the fireworks start going off. So we run over to my yard to watch. The fireworks go on for about 2 minutes, then stop. The rumor going around was that they wanted to shoot off as many fireworks as they could before the severe thunderstorm that was supposed to take place started. Then, around 10:15 pm, we are across the street again, and the fireworks start going off again. We all run to my yard again, and by the time we walk across the street to my house, they stopped. So we go back across the street, and they start again, this time running for about 1 minute and doing the grand finale.
MY THOUGHTS:
This was really stupid. First off, they start the fireworks 45 minutes early, and only shoot off a few of them. I can understand this because of the weather problem. But then when they started them again at 10:15, I was like WHAT THE FUCK! I was so mad about the whole thing that I took sparklers and spelled out "Landing strip over there" on the ground with a big arrow pointing to where the fireworks were shot off, so then all the planes flying over looked down and crashed into the god damn hippies that screwed up my fireworks.
DATE OF ENTRY:7/3/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:6/28/03
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
I overheard two employees talking while on a break. Here is their conversation:
Employee 1: Do you know a girl named (name removed to protect the non-dumbasses)?
Employee 2: Yeah, she's my next door neighbor.
Employee 1: Oh so you live close to her?
MY THOUGHTS:
I don't think I even need to explain that one. If you live next door to somebody, you obviously live pretty close to them. I was so saddened by this stupid display that I was forced to sit in the office and play with my old Batman toys.
DATE OF ENTRY:7/2/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:7/1/03
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
I was running the drive-thru at work, when a woman pulled up. She asked, "Do the chili cheese hot dogs have chili on them?".
MY THOUGHTS:
If I needed to explain the sheer dumbassness here, you must be a dumbass as well. This is similar to the 6/22/03 entry, but even more dumbass. I was so mad afterwards that I ended up becoming a chain smoker, getting lung and throat cancer, and dying.
DATE OF ENTRY:7/1/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:7/1/03
LOCATION: Post Office Parking Lot/XXXX St.
WHAT HAPPENED:
I was running some errands, one of which put me in the local Post Office parking lot. Now mind you, at pretty much any time of the day, this particular Post Office is pretty busy. When I was getting in my car to leave, I see two kids, probably about 12 or 13 years old, on one bike. One of them was pedaling, and the other was sitting on the top of the handlebars. They had been riding down XXXX St., which is the road the post office is on. They then decided to take a short cut through the parking lot. This caused them to almost be hit several times. Then, as I left, and turned onto XXXX St., they came back out onto XXXX St. They for some reason decided to steer into the street, and then back onto the sidewalk.
MY THOUGHTS:
First off, it looks incredibly dumb having someone sitting on your handlebars while riding a bike. Second, since the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, it did them no good going through the parking lot. All it did was waste time, and risk their lives. Third, jetting out in front of cars is ULTRA DUMBASS. Last I checked, a car traveling 35 mph would obliterate two kids on a bike. It made me so mad that I did exactly that. I followed them home, then when they set the bike down on the grass I drove my car up on the lawn and turned the bike into a 'Made in China pile of metal and shit'. I then drove my car through the living room wall of the house and poured hot radiator fluid on their heads, in an effort to reactivate their brains.
DATE OF ENTRY:6/30/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:6/23/03
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
I was running the front register when I heard the drive-thru go off. I went over to take the order, and it was an SUV. As I looked out the window, I see that the SUV was for some reason approaching the menu board backwards. It was as if the SUV had first pulled to the window, then gone into reverse and drove to the menu.
MY THOUGHTS:
Im not even totally sure what to think of this incident. The whole thing was very weird. Everything I was raised to belive (mainly that you go through a drive-thru in one of the 'forward' gears) was shattered by an SUV. I was very confused by it, and ended up going to therapy to re-anylize my core beliefs.
DATE OF ENTRY:6/29/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE: Approx. November 2002 (actual date unknown)
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
We were all working one day, and in a slow period we were all standing around talking for a minute. One of the employees was standing in front of the grill. The employee then turned around, looked at the grill, and put their hand on the grill so they could rest against it. They then proclaimed, "WOW! That's hot!!"
MY THOUGHTS:
The fact that the person turned around and looked at the grill first makes me not feel sorry for them at all. If you put your hand on a 350 degree grill, what do you expect to happen? The sheer dumbassness of this story made me so mad that I picked up the grill and dumped the bucket of hot grease on the person and asked, "Was that hot?"
DATE OF ENTRY:6/28/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:6/26/03
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
Well, first off, I was not actually present for this story, as it was related to me by another employee. A little bit of background is required for this story. In our restaraunt, the dining room closes at 9:30 PM, and the drive-thru closes at 10 PM. Well, a man pulls up to the menu board at 9:20 PM. He sits for ten minutes looking at the menu. Now that is not a stretching of the truth. He sat for ten whole minutes. Then when he finally ordered, he said, "I wish the dining room were open for just ten more minutes, then I could of eaten inside".
MY THOUGHTS:
First off, I know I don't have to tell you this, because you probably already figured it out, but he was driving an SUV. If the dumbass would of simply gone inside rather than look at the menu for ten minutes he could of eaten inside. Also, when you boil it down, our menu consists of two items, and if it takes ten minutes to figure it out, then you deserve to be enslaved with the rest of the monkeys. I mean come on, flip a coin or something. Forrest Gump and Goldie Hawn's bastard love child could figure it out faster than that. God damn...
DATE OF ENTRY:6/27/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:6/25/03
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
Well, again, like always, I was running the drive-thru at work. On the menu board, it says in plain sight "We proudly serve Pepsi products". Well, two women pulled up, and asked for "A large Diet Coke, and a large regular Pepsi". Then when they pulled to the window, they used their credit card to pay for the drinks, totaling $3.00.
MY THOUGHTS:
There are two things wrong with this incident:
1. It says PEPSI PRODUCTS. Apparently these women do not understand the concept of 'competition' and don't realize that no restaraunt would ever serve both Coke and Pepsi.
2. Who uses their credit card to buy $3.00 worth of pop that they will finish in 3 minutes. This is especially stupid since there is a large grocery store right next to our restaraunt where you can get a 12 pack of pop for $3.00.
People like this are the reason that everyone in America is in debt. Going into debt to buy 64 oz of pop. This made me so angry that I had to run to the back and make a voodoo effigy of Pat Sajak to divert my anger. I then smashed "Pat Sajak's" head with a piece of cheese that looked like Mr. Belvedere. This caused the real Pat Sajak (who was taping "Wheel of Fortune" at the time) to start using really bad pick up lines.
And do you know what kind of car these women were driving? An SUV...God Damn It!
DATE OF ENTRY:6/26/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE: Actual date unknown, approx. Sept. 2002
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
A woman, driving an SUV came to the drive-thru. Our drive thru is a straight line, mind you. You pull up to the board, order, then pull straight forward tot he window. Well, this woman orders her food, and pulls away from the board. Somewhere in the 20 feet to the window, she became sidetracked, literally, and ran her SUV into the drive-thru window. The drive-thru window portrudes from the building a little bit, but is flush with the landscaping, so a car does not need to move to avoid the window. Having trouble understanding? Check out my diagram of the incident: (not to scale)
MY THOUGHTS:
I really don't have to say anything here. I think the type of automobile says it all: SUV. Nonetheless, if this happened in a Geo Metro, I would of still written about it, just because of the sheer dumbass happening here. How does a person slam their car into a wall when driving in a straight line from one point to the other? God Damn it that is stupid...
DATE OF ENTRY:6/25/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE:6/24/03
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
I was running the drive-thru at work, when a woman pulled up in an suv larger than Kansas, China, and Marlon Brando put together. I was already collecting money on the car at the window, so I said "Hi, welcome to *******, I'll be with you in just a moment". At this precise moment, the woman sped away from the speaker, flipping me off when she drove by the window.
MY THOUGHTS:
First off, SUV owners are their own category of dumbasses, but I'm not gonna get into that right now. If you have a stick so far up your ass, that you can not wait 10 seconds, while I make change for another car, then you deserve to crash into a school bus full of children and go to jail as you speed away from my drive-thru. At least I can take comfort in the fact that because she was driving an SUV, she spent more money in gas just driving away from my drive-thru than she would of spent on food.
DATE OF ENTRY:6/24/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE: 6/23/03
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
I was at work, and it was 1 minute until I would go out and lock the dining room doors. At that time, two High School aged kids came into the store. They sat down to eat. They were particularly annoying because of their extremely loud yelling. (They were yelling about 'being from the streets' and what not. Now mind you, I know both of these kids fathers, and I know they each make around $100,000 a year. They definately don't live on the streets.) Anyways, they were being incredibly annoying. I locked the doors up right after they came in. Well, about 25 minutes later, a friend of theirs shows up and starts shaking our door, and yelling in the window. Before I can come over to tell him we are closed, his buddy that was already in the restaraunt got up, went to the door, and let him in. He then sat down, and asked to be served. I told him no, and he understood that. (I was shocked). But then when it came time for his friends to come pay the bill, they asked if I would let them eat for free because they know someone that works at the restaraunt.
MY THOUGHTS:
First and foremost, 'wiggers' annoy the piss out of me. As I said before, they have parents who wipe their asses for them. They are definately not 'from the streets' or 'hardcore'. But then on top of that, I was really pissed when they let their friend in after I had closed the store. By doing this they seriously put my job in jeopordy, and I made sure they knew that. Then when they asked if I would let them eat free, that was the final straw. I was so angered by them that I was forced to show them how hardcore I was by drowning one of them in the dishsink, then whipping the other one with cash register tape. Needless to say, they shit their pants HARD. (Which Mommy and Daddy will be cleaning up for them.)
DATE OF ENTRY:6/23/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE: 5/15/03
LOCATION: Movie Theater
WHAT HAPPENED:
I was with my friends seeing "Matrix: Reloaded" on opening night. There were two kids sitting behind us, who I would guess were about 14 or 15. Every time there was a fight scene or something cool, they would both say quite loudly "Man! I just wanna jack off!"
MY THOUGHTS:
I understand that at the age these boys are at, jacking off is probably what they think about a lot. But to proclaim it to everyone in the crowded movie theater only when Keanu Reeves was on screen? C'mon. They are just asking to have the shit beat out of them in a dark alley. As a matter of fact, we did run into them on the way home from the movie in an alley, and I climbed on top of a building and dropped a toilet on top of one of them, then beat the shit out of the other with a box of invitations to a Bar Mitzvah.
DATE OF ENTRY:6/22/03
ACTUAL DATE OF OCCURANCE: 6/21/03
LOCATION: Work
WHAT HAPPENED:
I was running the drive thru at work, when a man pulled up to the speaker. He said "I would like 3 hot dogs with JUST CHEESE on them". When he came to the window, and I was about to hand the food to him, he said "Do those come with chili on them?"
MY THOUGHTS:
If you say you just want cheese on them, do you think they are going to come with chili? Ignorance like that pisses me off. I was so mad when he said that I ended up ripping his car door off and shoving it down his throat, then swearing.
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