Ask
Dr. Truth
Ask
Dr. Truth
by Hall Monitor staff psychologist Sherrie Truth
Dear Dr. Truth: I really enjoyed your response to Wedding Jitters in your first column. I have a wedding problem as well and I hope you can help. My best friend of many years just announced his engagement and I am totally unprepared for this. To be honest, I never thought he would ever find a woman who would even consider marrying him. Even though the wedding is months away, just the thought that I will have to take part in it has me all clammy and nauseated. To top it off, he's acting like he expects presents and a celebratory dinner. Is there any way I can back out of all of this gracefully?--Best Man
Dear Best: Often, when people get married, they act as though the world revolves around them. Demanding presents, dinners and attendance at the ceremony are all manifestations of this "me first" attitude. This kind of relentless selfishness is not only uncalled for, it demands a tough response. My advice for Wedding Jitters (getting drunk and making a scene at the reception) doesn't really fit here, since you want to do anything to avoid the wedding altogether. In this situation, we'll have to get creative. Try hiring a look-alike to pose as your friend in compromising photos with another woman, or, better yet, another man. I don't know many brides-to-be who will put up with what appears to be flagrant cheating days before the wedding, and it's a natch she'll call the whole thing off! Problem solved!
Dear Dr. Truth: I just found out (by accidentally reading his diary) that my brother is gay. I am sure our parents don't know and would freak out if they knew. What should I do? They keep pressuring him to get married and say that I can't get married until he does (he's the oldest). Should I tell him to come out of the closet?--Disturbed in Detroit
Dear Disturbed: Communication and honesty are the cornerstones of any healthy relationship, even if this has to be nudged along by sneaking a peak at a family member's private diary. Don't worry, you don't have to sugar coat your actions by telling me you "accidentally" read his diary--you did the right thing. Though you may be anxious to get your brother out of the way so you can get hitched, simply telling your brother to come out of the closet would be the wrong way to speed up the process. What this calls for is a good old fashioned outing. Naturally, your parents may be reluctant to believe your testimony alone, so it's important to get hard evidence that will help prove your case. At the risk of sounding like a broken record (see my advice above), I recommend following your brother the next time he paints the town red and photographing him in a lip lock (or more, if possible!) with his next little trick from The Anvil. Believe me, you'll be doing your brother a favor (who wants to live a lie?) and you'll be one step closer to being able to walk down the aisle.
Questions for Dr. Sheryl Truth can be sent directly to the Hall Monitor.
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