Acura:        Awful,Crappy,Unreliable, Rusty Automobile
              Automobile Causes Universal Road Accidents
              All Cars Usually Require Adjustment
              Any Child Understands Real Automobiles
              Americans Can Underestimate Routine Accidents
              A Case of a Useless Requested Acronym?
  
AMC:          Another Mess of Crap

Audi:         Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
   
Beetle:       Battered Everywhere, Expect To Lose Engine

BMW:          Babbling  Mechanical Wench
              Beastly Mechanical Wonder
              Big Money Waste
              Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
              Bought My Wife
              Break My Window
              Broken Monstrous Wonder
   
Buick:        Butt Ugly Import Car Killer
              Butt Ugly Indestructable Compact Killer
              Butt Ugly In Central Kentucky
              Built Under the Inspection of a Crazy Korean
              Bought Understanding It Can't Kickbutt

Cadillac:     Crazy Aunt Drives It Like A Lunatic Across the Country
              Car And Driver Indicates Lady Luck Abandoned Consumer

Camaro:       Can't America Make A Real One?

Chevrolet:    Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
              Car Has Extensive Rattle On Long Trips
              Can Hear Every Valve Rattle Over Loud Engine Tapping
              Crappy Hot-Running Engines, Very Rusted Out, Lose Every Time

Chevy:        Charged HEaVilY
              Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
              Cruddy Hick Engine Very Yucky
   
Chrysler      Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs
              Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's
              Collection of Half Realized Yet Somehow Likeable Engineering 
Research
          
Chryco        Cherry Hot Rod You Can't Outrun
              Chrysler Has Run Your Chebby Off

Citroen:      Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters

Datsun:       Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips

Dodge         Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
              Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere
              Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
              Dangerous On Days Gears Engage
              Death Overcomes Driver's Generous Ego
              Driven Only During Grey Evenings
              Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
              Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
              Department Of Defense's Grossest Error
              Dont Over Drive Gutless Engine

Fiat:         Failure In Automotive Technology
              Fix It Again Tony
              Fix It Alltha Time
              F**ked In the Ass Twice
              Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
              Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation

Ford          F**ked over rebuilt Dodge
              Fix Or Repair Daily
              Found On Rockville Dump
              Fails On Rainy Days
              First On Race Day  (proven false)
              Fourth On Race Day (of the "Big Three", fourth is pretty bad!)
              First On Recall Day
              First On Road to Dump
              First On Rust and Deterioration
              Found On Road Dead
              Found On Rubbish Dump
              Four Old Rusty Doors
              Fool Only Runs Downhill (expletive replaced)
              Driver Returns On Foot (backwards)

Geo           Get Everyone Out
              Grotesque Engineering Outdated
              Getting Even Ourway
              Got Engine, Oh?
              Get 'Er Outtahere

GM            Get a Mopar!
              Grungy Merchandise

GMC           Garage Mechanics Companion
              General Mass of Crap
              Generally Mediocre Cars
              Got a Mechanic Coming
              Got More Crap
              Get More Chicks
              Great Muscle Cars
   
GTO:          Get Tickets Often
              Get Tires Often

Honda:        Helping Out Nips Destroying America
              How Odd-No Damn Acceleration
              Hold Overs Not Doing Anything
              Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile
              Hand Over Dollars to Asians

IROC:         Idiot Runs Over Cats
              Ignorant Redneck Owns Car
              I'm Really Out of Cash
              Italian Retard Out Cruising
              I Race Other Cars
              I Run Over Children
              It's Really Only a Camaro
   
Jaguar:       Jags Always Guarantee Unlimited Astronomical Repairs

Jeep:         Just Eats Every Part
              Just Everyone Elses Parts
   
LTD:          Long Term Debt
              Lousy Transportation Dammit
              Long Term Disability
   
Mazda:        Most Always Dangerously Zipping Along
              Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly
              Making A Zillion Dollars Annually

   
Mercedes:     Money Envy Reliably Causes every Derogatory Expletive to Surface

Metro          Monkeys Engineered This Road Obstacle
               Mileage's Everything; Torque, Running's Out
               Mangey Environmentalist Transporter Rusts On
               My Endeared Transportatin Rusted Out
               Martha, Every Thing Rattles Off!
               May Every Thing Rattle On
               May Endure Teasing, Ridicule, and Ostracism


MG:           Might Go
              Mobile Garbage
              Money Guzzler
              Money Grabber

Mopar         Made Of Plastic And Rubber
              Most Often Passed At Races
              Most Often Proven At the Racetrack
              Most OverPowered And Respected
              Massively OverPowered And Respected
              Mostly Old Parts And Rust
              Mostly Old Paint And Rust
              Mounds Of Power And Revs
              Move Over, Pentastar Approaching Rapidly
              MOst Perfect Automobiles for Racing
              Masters Or Performance and Racing
              Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicars
              My Old Pig Ain't Running
              My Old Pig Always Roars
              My Old Plymouth Ain't Runnin.
              More Overall Performance And Reliability
              Mostly Obsolete Parts Assembled Randomly
              Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
              Most Often Passed At Races
              My Only Problems Are Repairs

Mustang:      Massively Ugly Sh*tpile That's Always No Good

Nissan:       Never i Shall Steal Another Nissan

Olds:         One Leak, Dead Starter
              Older, Louder, Dumber, Slower
              Obnoxious, Loud Death Sled

Oldsmobile:   Oh Look, Dammit! Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking 
              Everything
              Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late 
              Everyday
              Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel
   
Pinto:        Performance Is Not The Object
              Put In New Transmission Often
              Put In Nickel To Operate
              Pyrotechnics Is Naturally The Object


Plymouth      Please Let Your Mother Out 
 Under The Hood!
              Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, all Underestimating This Heap

Pontiac:      Poor Old Nitwit Thinks It's A Cadillac

Porsche:      Piece Of Retired Scrap, Continually High Expense
              Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions
              Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine
              Please Overlook Really Sh*tty Cardboard Horrible Engine
              Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough

Probe:        Plainly Runs Only By Exception

Renault:      Retarded Engine No Acceleration Ugly Lump of Trash

SAAB:         Send Another Auto Back
              Slick As A Brick
              Swedish Auto - Always Broken
              Swedish Auto's Are Best

Saturn	      Sorry About That Unexpected Recall Notice
   
Subaru:       U R A BUS  (read backwards)
              Send Undercover Boat And Radioactive Uranium

Toyota:       Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
              Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All
              Transportation Of Young Or Tasteless Airheads
   
Triumph:      The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily

VW:           Virtually Worthless

STP:          Stop Those Pistons.

NAPA:         Never Any Parts Available.