Hello, what's this? "Be it enacted by the Council of Bishounen..."
"...that the meeting place for the Third Council..."
"...shall be changed to the house on the corner of..."
"...Death St. and Despair Ave., City of Doom, Hades."
"Time of Meeting is as soon as possible." {crumple crumple} Bloody wankers might have told us in person that we're meeting at Martha Stewart's place.
Excuse me, are you with the Council of Bishounen?
Yeah, the name's Riley. You must be Inuyasha?
That's me.
Good to meet you. How was your flight?
It was awful. Kagome thought it would be funny to ship me in the cargo hold as a pet.
Heh...she sounds like quite the feisty one.
You have no idea. Hey, thanks for picking me up.
No worries, mate. I hope you don't mind riding on a motorcycle.
Oh, is that like a bicycle? Kagome has a bicycle.
Um, yeah, something like that.
Ah...Riley, is that a bazooka under your trenchcoat?
Of course not. Why would I bring a bazooka to the airport?
Just a silly thought, I guess. What is it then?
It's a Russian-built RPG-7 rocket-propelled grenade with a thermobaric warhead. Nobody uses bazookas anymore.
Great.
I think this is the place.
It looks like we're the first ones here.
Hey, it's pretty festive, and it feels inviting.
...
Well, in the sense that crypts are festive and inviting.
So that would be not festive or inviting at all?
Come on, guys, lighten up. Don't you know how to have a little fun?
Imminent doom, yay.
I don't know about you, Ryo, but I don't have my fun in houses that even people directing horror films think are too scary.
Hey, do you hear that?
MOTORCYCLE
Broombroombroom SKREEEEEEEEE
G'day, mates.
{GASP} I am NEVER getting near ANYTHING with wheels EVER again!
A little fast for you?
Yeah, and that time you rode UNDER that truck! What was THAT?!
I was just changing lanes...
And I almost needed to change my undergarments! You're a maniac!
Heh. Hey Koji, did the change-of-location notice come from you?
No. If it didn't come from you, it must have been Aragorn, unless the evil ones are acting up again.
He means Arwen and Faye.
I'm sure he does. Gentlemen, this is Inuyasha.
Hi.
I'm Gawl.
Ryo.
Koji. It's good to meet you. How was your flight?
Don't ask.
DIMENSIONAL PORTAL
Foooooom.
Wow.
What a desolate place this is...
Quite a looker, isn't it?
Hey Aragorn, what's with the change of location?
What? It wasn't you that changed it?
No, it wasn't any of us.
It was probably Allen then, or the girls acting up.
Hey folks, meet Inuyasha.
Hello.
Hi, I'm Sam.
Aragorn. Good to see you.
I'm Legolas, but you can call me Your Beautifulness.
Err...how about I call you a kook instead?
Hahaha! You can be my buddy, Inuyasha!
DIMENSIONAL PORTAL
Whoooooosh.
Aragorn! Why did you change the location of the council?
It wasn't you?
No, I thought one of you must have done it!
Gawl!
Van!
People see our secret handshake...
...but it's only just begun!
Oro?
Nor sleet nor snow nor ranger's wrath...
...shall long impede our glorious path!
Though trials and terrors line our trail...
We face the fight with ne'er a fail!
This is the most...bizarre handshake I've ever seen.
I'm almost embarrassed to know them sometimes.
Know who? I've never seen them before.
Ha...good call.
We bid our foes beware, beware...
Ye vain of face, ye green of hair...
Oh good, there they are! I was afraid we'd taken a wrong turn.
Wha...are those two humping each other?
They're boys, dear. I've found it's best not to inquire into such things.
Hahahaha! All too true!
...Your dreaded plans will surely fall
When pulverized by Van and Gawl!
All disturbed, say Aye.
Aye.
Yoo-hoo! Tee-hee!
Good Lord. The banes of my existence.
What was that, Koji-bon?
I said Good morning. Sorry, did I mumble? {cough}
Aragorn, why did you change the council meeting to this horrid filthy place?
...
It wasn't you? It wasn't me.
Or me, or Allen.
It wasn't us, either.
{gasp} KAWAII!
Gnn...oh no.
Hold still, just for a minute!
Get away from me!
Does this mean that none of us changed the council location?
It looks that way. I wonder who sent the notices out.
Come back! We just want to feel your ears!
You'll feel my wrath if you don't cut it out!
I don't like this situation. It's a good thing I brought extra weapons.
Don't you always bring extra weapons?
Well, yes. I'm just saying it's a good thing.
Please stop running, you adorable thing you!
Aragorn, help! Koji! Somebody!
Well, do we have any choice but to go inside the house and see what's there?
I say we dust off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Could we try something a little less violent first?
Wait, I forgot about the package Kagome sent me!
Package? What package?!
I agree with Ryo...we need to find out how someone was able to contact us in each of our own dimensions. There's something very strange going on and we should gather all the information we can about it.
I'm with you, Koji. Let's do it.
What did she say..oh, that's right. SIT!
Unfff! Grr!!!
Hahaha! Kawaii ears! Hee hee! {play play play}
{Sulkity sulk sulk glare}
All right, then. Let's go.
Wow, this path is longer than it looks from the street!
Hey, who's that guy in the cloak next to the door?
HOODED MAN WITH SCYTHE
Good evening.
Are you...Death?
HOODED SCYTHE-MAN
No. I am his twin brother Melville.
I always thought Moby Dick would kill me, but this is ridiculous.
Ba-dum tch!
Keep making jokes like that and Moby Dick will have to get in line.
HOODED SCYTHE-MAN
If you would be so kind, please leave your weapons with me.
Um...
Why?
HOODED SCYTHE-MAN
The Master wants to see you.
Augh!
No!
Please!
Anything but "Manos the Hands of Fate"!
HOODED SCYTHE-MAN
Actually, it's a Dr. Who reference.
Why not? We can make do without weapons.
Bring it on!
Okay, folks, stow the weapons!
Unnnnngh...
CRICKETS
Chirp chirp chirp...
Another marshmallow?
Thanks.
It was really nice of Kagome to pack this campfire stuff for you, Inuyasha.
I'm still not speaking to you.
Okay, now that I have a monster sugar high, when are we actually going to go inside? I'm bored!
Pretty soon now. It looks like Melville's almost done inspecting Riley.
It's about time. I've seen navies with fewer weapons.
Pack it up, folks, we're going in!
DOOR
Creeeeeeeeak...
LIGHTNING
Flash!
THUNDER
Rummmmmmmble!
That's very comforting and not-scary.
HOODED SCYTHE-MAN
This way please...
By the way, Riley, how many weapons did you sneak past Melville?
Oh, a few. {cough} Dozen.
HOODED SCYTHE-MAN
We have arrived. {poof}
Okay, that was weird.
Wow, this has to be the most morbid ballroom I've ever seen...
You sissy, it's no worse than Koji in the morning.
Must...control...fist of death...
Freeze! FBI! We have you surrounded!
...
{blink blink}
Um...we?
Okay, it's just me, but Melville and I have your weapons, so don't try anything funny!
Anything funny? Us?
Heh heh.
Ha ha ha ha.
HahahahaGRRRRRR
RRRAAAHaahahahaa!
I knew it! A shapeshifter!
Rrrr?
In this room is the proof I need to demonstrate the existence of the paranormal! There's a shapeshifter...unnatural long life...
Hey, I'm not that old!
Supernatural beauty...
Ha! Did you hear that, Allen?
Supernatural my codpiece. Does Pantene employ deities now or something?
And a little man!
Excuse me?
A little man...drat it all, why can't you be green?
A little spray paint would fix that.
You stay out of this!
You obviously can channel a personal pocket dimension to store matter in...
Mate, I'm just a good packer, okay?
And Albert Einstein was just good at arithmetic. And you...you're obviously a werewolf, but your ears, they're so...so cute, in fact, may I--
No, and if you so much as THINK of touching them I'll gnaw your hands off!
Okay, okay, take it easy, big guy!
Listen, Mr...
Mulder. Fox Mulder.
Right. We came to have a council here to wish someone a happy birthday. Was it you that sent the messages to us?
Yes. I needed to get you all in one place so that I could prove once and for all that paranormal things are real!
Well, we admire your dedication, but this is a problem. I assumed that someone else had stepped in to moderate the council, so I left my notes behind. We don't know who we're supposed to wish a happy birthday.
These notes? Is her name Megan?
...Faye, what are you doing with my notes? I left them in my room!
Oh, hahahaha, I lost my hairbrush and thought it might somehow have fallen into your room, maybe through the window, and so I...
Faye, I guarantee that you did not lose your hairbrush in my underwear drawer.
You store things in your underwear drawer? That's disgusting!
Of course! Nobody looks in there, or so I assumed!
Besides invasion of privacy, there's a more pressing issue here.
What do you mean?
Mulder, just how were you able to find us?
I got your names and locations from an informant...medium height, pointy ears, funny-looking hair...
If my suspicions are correct, this may be the same dimension-ripper that sold Aragorn a bootleg Lord of the Rings DVD...we discussed it back in the chat. This is a problem we'll have to correct: if he's stalking us and monitoring our positions, his intentions can't be good.
...
Koji, how in the Planes did you put a hyperlink in your dialogue?
What, haven't you ever taken voice lessons?
Well, it looks like we messed things up again...but at least this time it was mostly not our fault. Happy Birthday, Megan.
Mr. Mulder, in return for your silence, would you be willing to join us in investigating your informant?
Well, I...
Please, Fox? It would mean so much to us!
And you're much cuter than any blonde!
Grrrrrr! {snarl snarl}
Waaaaaah! {sob sob}
Well, okay, I guess so...
Maybe one of these days a council will actually go smoothly!
Faye, I still want to know what you were doing in my room.
Fooooox, Aragorn's being mean to me!
And maybe flying pigs will take me away to the land of neverending gardens. {sigh}
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