I know what you are thinkin, bread is hard to make right? Wrong. And I'll tell ya one thing, nothin impresses a chick more than the smell of bread in the oven...

The great thing about this recipe is that it is so versatile, it will work for anything from pizza base to frocacia. A little tweak and its good for pita bread too!

Bread making is not an exact art so it's hard to write a recipe, you have to go a lot on feel. This has never failed though so do yourself a favour and try it. Any time is a good time for pizza... Then when people ask you where you got your kick ass base you can frown at them and say "I made it!" and get really pissed off.

OK, enough preamble...here's what you are going to need:

Multiple beers, remember to save some for when you consume your creation...
Active Yeast (here it comes in like jars but I think in the US it comes in sachets. Same shit, so no worries.)
Salt
Warm water (note warm not boiling)
Sugar
Flour (any white baking flour is cool, don't buy the real expensive bread flour, I can't tell the difference)
Olive Oil (don't waste the extra virgin, save her for the sacrifice)

Ok, here we go. A beer is good at this stage to settle the nerves or whatever...

In a small bowl put in two cups of hot-warm water from the tap. Add your sachet of yeast (you need about two teaspoons of yeast) and about three teaspoons of sugar. Stir it up and leave it to sit for a few minutes until the yeast starts to froth up (activate). I think a lot of people fail because their water isn't hot enough, it should be easily bearable to your fingers but no hotter. Like a nice bath.

While you are waiting for your yeast to activate add like four cups of flour into a large mixing bowl. Some people use a blender or something to mix their dough, laugh at these people. Add about a couple of teaspoons of salt at this stage. Quite often I forget the salt then curse myself when it has no flavour...

When your yeast is nice and foamy tip it into the bowl with the flour. Add about a tablespoon or two of olive oil and mix it together with a fork. Gradually add more flour until it comes together into a doughy blob.

Tip it out onto a floured board or bench top. Here's the critical bit, fold it over on itself squish down and turn it, fold and turn, fold and turn...if it is too sticky and starts to stick on the surface you are kneading on add more flour. After 5-10 minutes you should have a nice blob of dough. It will feel really pleasant, firm yet yielding, like a nice warm breast. The key is the gradual addition of flour. If you do it this way there's no way it can be too dry.

Leave it on the bench while you wash out your larger bowl. Oil the sides of the bowl and put the dough back in it. Rub a little oil over the dough too so it doesn't dry out and go all hard and crusty. Cover it with a clean tea-towel and put it in a warm place to rise. I usually just put it in the sun but if its a cold day I preheat my oven a little then turn it off and put it in there.

After about an hour it will be all nice and puffy. It's one of life's little pleasures seeing your dough rise. Now you have to decide what you want to make.

I usually roll out a couple of pizza bases nice and thin from it then shape the rest into either bread rolls for garlic bread or squash it onto an oven try and it makes a really great flatbread sprinkled with rock salt, garlic butter and rosemary.

Several people have emailed me all pissed off and said "How long do you cook it for??" Well, that totally depends on what you have made. Pizzas are done in a nice hot oven in about 20 mins or until the exposed sides begin to brown. Rolls take about the same time. If you are kranking out a big loaf it will take longer. Give it a whack with the back of a spoon, it should sound and feel kinda hollow. If it is very dull it's not cooked.

If you want a softer bread add a little milk or yoghurt instead of some of the water.

I tell ya, once you try this recipe you will want to call your firstborn Cheesey. It really is that easy and satisfying!!!

Another thing, if you make some pizzas and you have some left over dough cover it and put it in the ole fridge, it's good for about three days. Also a good thing to do with older dough is roll it very thin and fry it in a dry frying pan. It makes a lovely crunchy Indian style naan bread.

Ok, get to it!

If it totally fucked up e-mail me and we'll try see where ya went wrong. This has seriously never fucked up on me in like five years of happy breadmaking.

Once you have got this sussed you have to try my pasta recipe by clicking here It's a winner.