Welcome to The Other Australians' Magazine

April 2001 1st Issue Available at all mayor Asian places - free

—You are in a nightclub.
You ask a barperson for a Coke and nine out of ten they give you Cold.
—Your parents want you to be a doctor, you want yourself to be a doctor and you want your children to be doctors.
—You eat beef jerky and dry squid at the cinema and pissed every one off with the awful smell.
—You think it is rude to blow your nose in the public.
—You clean your ear lopes with cotton buds because you think earwax are dirty and should be removed even though your doctor tells you never to stick anything into your ears
—You wash your dishes with a small bowl of detergent and running water since you are so convinced that that is the only way to effectively remove both grease and detergent off the dishes.
—You had your name changed or thought of having your name changed in your resume because you think that it will make a difference when looking for work.
—You eat rice with every thing and people think that you have soya sauce with every thing you eat.
— Hey I have Class too, I was borne with silver chopsticks in my mouth.
—You wash dishes for a job even though you have a couple of hundred of grand in you bank account.
—You feel ok to buy a $150 per kilo of Abalone.
—You can track down your three days lost grand mother by the smell of Tiger Palm oil that she wears because she thinks it cures all.
—Your parents organize a karaoke dinner party and you don’t like it so you go to your own karaoke party with your friends.
—You enjoy eating sticky rice with even though you are not Gay.
—You support Michael Chan even though you have never played tennis in you life.
—You think enduring bitterness is good for you.
—You walk into a bar that is full of Caucasians and you think that every one is watching you.
— You prefer your prawns with the heads and legs still attached.
— You never call your parents just to say hi.
— You starve yourself before going to all-you-can-eat places.
— You spit bones and other food scraps on the table
---You think an Asian marriage is an union of two incomes.
— You were/are a good student with very high TER.
—You majored in something practical like
engineering, medicine or finance
—You have more than one-college degrees, especially more than one Master's
—If you play a musical instrument, it must be piano
—You have a vinyl table clothe on your kitchen table
—Your stove is covered with aluminium foil
—Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it
— You beat eggs with chopsticks
—You always leave shoes at the door
—You use the dishwasher as a dish rack
—You boil water before drinking
—You eat all meals in the kitchen to keep your dining room clean
—You don't use measuring cups when preparing foods
— You save grocery bags and use them to hold garbage
— You have a rice cooker
— You're a wok user
— You fight over who pays the dinner bill
— You wash rice 2-3 times before cooking it
— You make sounds when you have a bowl of soup.
— You don't dry-clean cloths, even if they need to be dry-cleaned
—You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
—You always cook yourself, even if you hate it
—You use credit cards, and pay monthly bills in full
—You keep most of your money in a savings account
—You buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off
—You hate to waste food
a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them
b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing
—You don't own any real Tupperware--only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
—When toilet paper is on sale, you buy 100 rolls and store them
— You never discuss your love life with your parents
— You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes)