FaceParty: Sub-Literate Degenerate Posers Invited Only
For those of you unfamiliar with the wonder that is FaceParty.com: it's a glorified dating site full of people you'd rather eat your own vomit than meet. First, let's discuss what type of women join this site. FaceParty only attracts low self-esteem chicks with daddy-issues and a plethora of other personality-defects, who do something quite remarkable: they join this fucking dating site pretending they're not on there for the very fucking reasons they are, ie: to get laid. The chicks will piss and moan about the "real" reasons for them being on the site, and that getting laid is definitely not one of those reasons. The "lady" doth protest too much!
Article 11: November 18, 2006
If she wants a "laugh" why doesn't she rent a fucking Adam Sandler DVD? Thing is, it's embarrassing to be advertising yourself on the internet, so best pretend you're doing it for a "laugh" and not because you're a lonely desperado. Voila; face saved! How sad. You'll find this all becomes fairly predictable when you wade deeper and deeper into the bowels of FaceParty. See, FaceParty isn't a "party" at all. It's a delicious (read: sickening) mixed-bag of sub-literate mongoloid posers all clambering for attention, who write like they're typing a fucking text message. Chicks join up to wield power they can't wield in actuality. It's easy to be full of yourself on the internet when there's no end to the (sad, lonely, desperate) men begging you to sleep with them! Oh, and don't be hoping that these chicks can actually spell. Put that thought out of your pretty little head right now.
The fucking genius who doesn't know the difference between the words "extent" and "extinct" is called Andrea and looks like this:
Andrea prides herself on having gone through years of education and coming out the other end without having any spelling ability. So proud she is of this fact, she'll advertise this lack of ability on the internet and even post her picture just in-case you ever comes across her on the street and decide to verbally abuse her! By this point in the lecture, it should be painfully obvious that these shit-lickers have the positively paradoxical combination of being both low self-esteem cases and self-important narcissists all at fucking once! They are damaged, mentally-deranged fuck-sticks but despite being damaged, mentally-deranged fuck-sticks, they have a very high opinion of themselves, as is noted in the following biography from yet another desperado:
The pictures these dumb fucking chicks post usually feature them with their "cleavage" on full display because a cleavage will make every male who visits her page spontaneously grow a huge fucking erection and they might even use their engorged member to type a message to her in a fit of sex-crazed hysteria, and when he might mention how "hot" she is in his message, she'll be forced to add a new line to her biography warning all men not to do that again because posting a picture of one's cleavage is innocent of sexual suggestion!
But would you like to know the saddest thing of all? Some of these chicks will go to the bother of subscribing to the site, sometimes even paying for the privilege, then go to the "extinct" of typing up a fucking biography nobody gives two shits about, then go to the bother of keeping a daily blog, and after all that, they'll post a multitude of fucking pictures of themselves, all done in the hopes of attracting random correspondence, and then what happens when you try to send them a message? You get this:
Being on FaceParty and "not accepting messages" is like going to a singles bar on a Friday night and snubbing anybody who comes near you. These chicks are screaming into a fucking sea-shell, screaming that they're only they're to "make new friends", screaming that they want you to leave them alone, screaming that they don't want sex, screaming that they don't want you to message them, screaming that they will pick and choose who they message back, screaming, screaming and screaming some more. But you know what? They're still at a singles bar. On a Friday night. The sad bastards.
Now that we're done with discussing the chicks on FaceParty, let's get cracking with a discussion on the FaceParty men: the men on FaceParty are sad and lonely, and are on the site specifically to get laid. At least they're honest about it.