"Sex, Lies and Monkeys" - Transcript Done by Leanne

This is not the full transcript. It is just the parts involving Lindsay's rape.

Usual Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the show or this episode.

Transcript done by Leanne




(Hall at the court house. Lindsay and Chris Kelton)

Chris: You look fantastic. Are you seeing anybody?

Lindsay: Chris. We've been there, we had fun but we don't want to go back there do we?

Chris: Well, I was only thinking about maybe sleeping together.


Show opens with Lindsay and Chris together having sex at someone's apartment. (No dialogue to write unless I count the mm's and ahs.)



(Rebecca and Lindsay in the bathroom. Rebecca washing out face washer, Lindsay over toilet having finished vomiting.)

Rebecca: Maybe you should see a doctor.

Lindsay: Oh, I'm okay. I think I'm just hung over. Maybe I can't drink wine any more. (Puts lid down on toilet and Rebecca helps her up to sit on it.) Ooo. Or maybe I'm nauseous over oooo I promised myself I wouldn't get back involved with this guy.

Rebecca: Ah, you got week.

Lindsay: I don't know what came over me. I mean I didn't even use protection. Oh, maybe I'm pregnant. Maybe this is morning sickness.

Rebecca: Lindsay, it doesn't work that fast.

Lindsay: I'm going to the doctor.



(Later that day. Donnell and Associates. Lindsay sitting at desk on phone, Rebecca walking around with some files. Everyone else is out.)

Lindsay: What? Are you sure about this Cindy? Could you fax me that result? Thanks.

(Lindsay bites her nails)

Rebecca: What's up?

Lindsay: Nothing (Bites nails again and Rebecca comes over)

Rebecca: Okay Lindsay what's the matter.

Lindsay: The uh, my doctor did a blood test, put a rush on it because ah, I don't believe this.

Rebecca: Your pregnant.

Lindsay: No. They found traces of GHB.

Rebecca: GH what?

Lindsay: Gamma Hydroxy Butaray. (spelling?) It's also known as Liquid X.

Rebecca: Liquid X?

Lindsay: The more popular name is "easy lay".

Rebecca: What are you talking about.

Lindsay: Liquid X Rebecca. It's that date rape drug. That's why I was so …. Chris must have drugged me.



(Later that day at the courthouse. Lindsay and Chris)

Lindsay: You admit it.

Chris: Lindsay what's the big deal.

Lindsay: The big deal. The big deal. You drugged me. You slipped an illegal drug into my wine. You the sleep with me while I'm under the influence. The big deal is called rape.

(In a room at the courthouse)

Chris: First of all it was such a minimal dosage.

Lindsay: Minimal. You can't regulate it with any accuracy.

Chris: Second of all, I've always drugged you one way or another and you've always known about it without wanting to know about it so lets not pretend.

Lindsay: What are you talking about.

Chris: You know exactly what I'm talking about. Have you ever known anyone more uptight about sex than you.

Lindsay: That's not the point.

Chris: No the point is you liked it when I slopped a little something in the brownies you you were glad when I didn't tell you about it.

Lindsay: Your talking about stuff that went on in college. It has nothing to do with this.

Chris: I am talking about you being incapable of enjoying sex without something to take away your inhibitions. I am talking about how we both know you loved it more the nights of and felt less guilty the day after if you could pretend I wasn't loosening you up.

Lindsay: Wine is one thing. Last night you slipped me an illegal drug.

Chris: Ah. Okay, the stuff might have been a bit stronger. If so I apologise. But I didn't do anything we didn't do before. And you know that.



(Lindsay and Rebecca having lunch (I think) probably at McCalls)

Rebecca: So what are you going to do?

Lindsay: What can I do. File charges?

Rebecca: Does this drug knock you out?

Lindsay: It could but it didn't. It just kind of made me giddy and incredibly …

Rebecca: Horny?

Lindsay: Yeah.

Rebecca: Lindsay, how do you go about proving you wouldn't have consented. I mean you have with this guy before. There were rumours flying around about scratches on the conference table.

Lindsay: But I know I wouldn't have this time. I regretted having to lemon-pledge the conference table trust me. I made up my mind never to be anything but plutonic with him again.

Rebecca: Then why did you go out with him, drink wine

Lindsay: Rebecca!

Rebecca: I am just asking questions that are definitely going to get asked.

Lindsay: They have rape shield laws in Massachusetts. They can't attack me.

Rebecca: Lindsay, this morning, over the toilet bowl you told me you enjoyed it.

Lindsay: Yeah, but it was only because of the drug. I know myself Rebecca, I'm not capable of good sex.

Rebecca: Did you tell him how good it was.

Lindsay: ooh, maybe.



(Courthouse the next day. Lindsay and Chris in the hall)

Chris: You want to repeat that?

Lindsay: You heard me Chris. Resign from the DA's office or I file charges.

Chris: Whatever drug you're on know Lindsay it didn't come from me.

Lindsay: If this file came across your desk you'd prosecute.

Chris: Hay. Maybe I exercised poor judgement.

Lindsay: Poor judgement! Is that what you call it.

Chris: The sex was consensual.

Lindsay: I didn't have the capacity to consent. I was under the influence.

Chris: You had capacity. You initiated it.

Lindsay: Because of the drug.

Chris: Lindsay think about this.

Lindsay: I have thought about it all night and I can't live with letting you get away with it.

Chris: I will not resign my job. If you file charges, I will fight and I'll use anything I can. I don't want to ruin your reputation Lindsay but I will not let you ruin mine. I'll do whatever it takes.



(Outside office of Donnell and Associates. Rebecca locking up the office, sees Lindsay sitting of the bench and goes over to her)

Rebecca: Hay

Lindsay: Hay

Rebecca: Are you okay

Lindsay: Sure ….. I went to the police. I was going to report him, I was, but I uh what good, I didn't go in. I just drove there but oh, I was going to go in but umm what good would… I'm okay, I'm fine, I'm fine.



(Chris's office. Chris sitting behind his desk. Lindsay walks in banging the door)

Chris: Lindsay, wwwhat's going on?

Lindsay: I went to the police station to file charged.

Chris: What?

Lindsay: Oh, I didn't do it. I know you could never be convicted. And I also part of me didn't want your whole career ruined over one stupid mistake and it would be ruined. Possession of that drug alone but the thought of you getting away with it all smug you know I couldn't live with that either.

Chris: Have you been drinking.

Lindsay: No. This is the way rape victims get Chris. And I'm sitting in my car outside the police station and I'm thinking he should at least limp over this a little. Maybe he shouldn't loose his job but you should at least limp that's why I came to shoot you it the leg (she pulls a gun out of her coat pocket). I'll say the gun went off by accident.

Chris: Are you

Lindsay: Crazy? Yeah. And it feels good. See you could file charges but the truth would come out and you would get in more trouble than me. It would be in your best professional interest to agree with me that the gun went off by accident.

Chris: Lindsay!

Lindsay: DON'T. Truth is I have been drinking and I might vomit any second so I had better get this over with. Would you prefer the right leg or the left.

Chris: Lindsay!!

Lindsay: Or the head.

Chris: This isn't you.

Lindsay: Sure it is. I just needed to shed some of my inhibitions. This is me. Right leg or left or should I choose.

Chris: Lindsay you will end up in gaol.

Lindsay: I'm counting to three. One


Lindsay: Two

Chris: MY GOD!!!

Lindsay: Three

Chris: The left

(BANG!!! The gun goes off and Chris goes down. A few seconds later he looks up at Lindsay)

Lindsay: Just kidding. Sue me. Oh, by the way, you wet your pants.

(Hear voices and people rush in)

Someone: Everyone okay in here?

Lindsay: (on her way out the door) He loved it.

Chris: Umm, Practical joke, everything's fine. Umm just a joke.



(At the bar. Jimmy, Ellenor, Eugene, Rebecca, Lindsay and Bobby all present)

Jimmy: It was gratifying that they came back quick you know. My first victory with a jury. And if I had to wait I think the sweating would've come back.

Bobby: Congratulations Jimmy

Jimmy: And here's to you to Ellenor. I heard Dr Bunion dropped his lawsuit.

Ellenor: Yep.

Jimmy: It was a good month for everybody. Bobby got the big NG. And how was your week Linds?

Lindsay: Oh same old (looking sideways at Rebecca)

Jimmy: Great. To happy times. I'll tell you I was nervous but I think the defendant blew it when he called one of the jurors a Possum. You can't predict how things are going to go but insinuating one of the jury is a member of the rodent family is not an acceptable tactic. I'll tell ya, people don't think the practice of law is a high, they don't know, they can't know.






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