When I get married, I want the song that I walk down the isle to to be Longview by Green Day. I’m not sure why. It’s about masturbation, which isn’t very romantic, but it’s shocking and untraditional, so why the hell not. And it would be funny as hell to watch the faces of all my relatives as they slowly realized what the song was about. I’ll probably end up getting married in some Church of Elvis in Las Vegas anyway, so why even bother with a song? I mean, I’ll have some “minister” reading me my vows dressed as the King of Rock and Roll. Not to mention that disgusting hip roll. Yuck I can’t stand that “move.” No wonders American Bandstand, or who ever the hell it was, would only show him from the waist up on TV.

I like cheese. Cheese is fun. Did you know my dad used to call me Mouse because I always ate cheese? I used to pile parmesan cheese on top of my salad when I was younger. I wouldn’t eat salad without it. Now one of my nicknames is Cheese. Freaky, huh? And on top of that, I’m short. I don’t know what that has to do with cheese, but it defiantly fits in here somewhere… I promise. Or at least I think I promise. But I’m short. At least to Jon I am. But to me, Jon is the “Giant that climbed down the beanstalk to chase Jack around the town.” Jack is me, of course. Because I am a midget compared to him. Midgets are cool. I like em… I saw this thing on Maury today about midgets. One of them did some ballet thing. It was cool. Midgets are awesome. I want a midget on a leash… heh, that would be awesome…

I am from the planet Erfiglish, pronounced as elephant. My alien name is Meep. This website is actually full of encoded messages to my home planet, far off in the galaxy of Fudge Sunday. We are planning on attacking your planet, known to us by the name of Parasite, and destroy it on April 1st, 3003. It takes awhile for us to get here, we live very far off. I am the procreation hybrid of an animal known to us as a Shmildican, a very intelligent Bird-Erfiglish creature, and an Enlishmakre, a Snake type of creature. In true form, I have no arms; instead I have wings with scales that shed, a lot. A lot a lot think everyday. I have a 3 forked tongue and two eyes on the sides of my head. You may think its ugly, but on my home planet, it is considered beauty. Oh wait, I wasn’t supposed to tell you that. Shmigyr… I have to go self destruct now. If I am found out, the government will perform horrible tests on me and try to find my secret lair under the garage! BAM SHMIGYR! I have revealed too much!

I like coffee, do you like coffee? If you don't, then you definatly should. It's yummy, and caffinated. I like caffinated stuff, it makes me hyper, and I get weird when I'm hyper. Just ask anyone. I talk real fast and pounce people for no reason. I wish it made me fly, like that drink says it will, Red Bull, or some shit like that. "Red Bull will give you wwiiiiiiiings!" as the guy is flying away on pathetic little wings that wouldn't keep a stick up in the air let alone an average weight guy. I want wings. They look like fun, don't you think? You could go anywhere real fast with wings. Anyway, back to the coffee. I like it. It tastes good. You know what I don't like? People who put sugar in it. Even a little bit of it makes it taste like shit. And shit doesn't taste good, let me tell you. Not that I know for a fact what shit tastes like, I mean, you can't go to a restraunt and order shit for dinner. Or maybe you can. I wouldn't know, I've never tried. I might do that someday. Imagine the looks on their faces when I ask them... haha "Hi, I'd like to order some shit. Real shit too, like the stuff people crap into a toilet. Do you have any? If not, I'd like to order some specially made, just for me." HAHA... that would be a kicker. Wow, this random got long fast.

Oooo... you know what? I don't, I was hoping you could tell me. Heh, I wanna name my kid What. How funny would that be?: "Hey... what's your name?" "What." "I asked you what your name is." "What." "Jesus, do you have a hearing problem? I wanna know your name." "What." "God, forget you! I just don't think that I can service a person who just can't hear me. Here's you 10 bucks back." LMAO... God, I crack myself up... Hmm, is that actually possible? To crack one's self up? And just shatter everywhere? Hehe, that would rule. "Hi, my name is Alyssa and I crack myself up, literally... Wanna see?" Heh... I see this random going nowhere, and that sucks. It sucks more than a slut servicing What. Lol. I feel high even though I'm not. Maybe it's the coffee... this is starting to sound like a journal entry. This random sucks. I might not even put it online. Even though it's probably going to go online anyway. Bah.