Solitude
The last of a dying breed
I'm the only one left
I sit in a colorless room
Facing my self-imposed hell
Alone with my sanity (or lack thereof)
Alone with my feelings
Alone with my pride
The heat overwhelms me
The cold inhibits me
And all I know
Is that I'm the last one left
~December 1995
My Best Friend
I lost my best friend today.
A girl swept in and stole him away.
The only one who's always been there
is lost to me, and doesn't care.
I grieve my loss silently -
no one knows my pain but me.
Seven years gone by and now
all I can do is wonder how
this situation came to be.
I wish only that he would see
that his happiness means everything to me,
and that I'm not protesting out of jealousy.
She's not for him, she's wrong in every way
and, to him, I don't know what else to say.
I want my friend back, but while I protest
his back will be turned, his ears will be deaf.
How else can I warn him of this mistake,
how much more noise can I possibly make?
Will he ever open his eyes,
or will she lead him to a painful demise?
~Summer 2001
Forgive Me?
Please forgive me, I'm not myself right now
Uncertainty is setting in
Awkwardness, fear, bashfulness, even
You have a drug-like effect on me
Our surroundings get fuzzy
I don't know what to think
I feel like I'm walking through a dream
And I'm terrified of waking up
I'm afraid to touch anything
For fear of breaking the spell
I freeze when you touch me, and hold my breath
Waiting for the scene to shimmer and fade
Thanking whatever gods exist when it doesn't
I'm totally strung-out now, on you
And I feel like a deer trapped in headlights:
I need to react, but I can't bring myself to move
I'm afraid if I so much as look for too long
It will all be gone
This is not rational, I'm not like that!
So accept my apology, and know I love you
Pieces of skin cover the floor
Just shredded skin, and nothing more
Your words cut through my flesh like knives
They cut the tie that's linked our lives ...
