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Wherein is Contained
the Locales and Descriptions Thereof
Where the Ardent Hunter Might Pursue
The Vile Curmudgeon

Collected and Complied for the
Amusement and Edification of
The Gentles of the Realm
By
His Exellency Tarassion Muire

To the Gentle Reader:

Hunting the Curmudgeon is an ancient and honorable tradition amongst our people, and your humble author hopes that this small gazetteer will further the needs of those wishing to continue that tradition. It is regrettable that many of the traditions of the past have fallen into disuse. Not in many years have we seen the Wild Hunt gather, horses caparisoned in their best finery, nobles and gentlefolk gathered in their most splendid hunting costume toasting with a stirrup-cup of miruvor, red-eared white hounds giving cry, all waiting for the Master of the Hunt to sound the horn. However, we are a country at war, and many of the old ways must be put aside for the nonce.

None the less, for those of us that still feel it is our duty, both to our heritage (lest we dishonor our ancestry) and to the Realm (as the newcomers are ignorant of the threat posed) to keep the population of the vile Curmudgeon from completely over-running the countryside, I hope and pray that the following humble offering will be of use in the furtherance of the noble goal of removing the odious Curmudgeon from the lands of Hibernia.

With all regards, I am

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The Fishing Village, Lough Derg
To the east and south of Mag Mell is a busy contingent of Curmudgeons engaged in the slaughter of badgers and the occasional crab. Approach from the east from Mag Mell, watching the shoreline. Be wary of the occasional appearance of a Curmudgeon on the hillside to the north. Striking down from the hilltop eastward is profitable. Can also be attacked from the west, into the tree line. Watch for skinners appearing in the huts. Also notable: couriers depart this location and head to the infestation to the southeast, and can be easily intercepted as they gallop along the lakeside. Curmudgeon Harvester (9-11); Curmudgeon Trapper (11-12); Curmudgeon Skinner (10-11); Curmudgeon Courier (15-17)

Trappers in the Woods, Lough Derg
Two locations can produce a small number of poachers and trappers: along the northeastern shore of Red Lake, just in sight of the Parthenon Farm, and to the north and east of MacNol's Tower. In the field to the north of this area the Great Battle between the Curmudgeon and Gurite armies can be witnessed. Gather at the Parthenon Farm Stables, tours leave at 11.30, battle at noon, tea served at the Roane Maiden Inn, lakeside. Curmudgeon Poacher (15); Curmudgeon Trapper (11-12)

Tharl's Encampment, Lough Derg
Across from Dergan Island to the east is an Curmudgeon encampment that includes the creature Tharl, and a horror that beggars description: the Singing Curmudgeon. Scouts abound, and will summon others. Poachers can be found in the fields to the northeast. Curmudgeon Trapper (11-12); Curmudgeon Harvester (9-11); Curmudgeon Poacher (15); Singing Curmudgeon (16-18); Curmudgeon Fighter (16-18); Tharl (19)

Pig Farm, Lough Derg
This ramshackle collection of buildings has been invaded by a gang of swineherd Curmudgeons, led by Hughar. On the eastern border of the county, it is south and east of the Parthenon Farm. Again, be wary of scouts, and poachers roam the woods to the west. The dinner hogs are particularly delectable, despite their current living conditions. Campkeeper (15); Curmudgeon Poacher (15); Curmudgeon Fighter (16-18); Hughar (16)

Skinner Cart, Lough Derg
To the southwest of Tir na mBeo, past the fields of wolfhounds and the badger woods, a trio of Curmudgeons has taken possession of some poor crofter's cart. They are trying to bring this stolen cart to a large contingent of their comrades hiding in a narrow defile to the west, behind the great Siabra-haunted tree. Curmudgeon Skinner (10-11); Curmudgeon Harvester (9-11); Curmudgeon Trapper (11-12)

Northern Parthanon Farm, Connacht
A single lost Curmudgeon has parked itself in the unfortunate farmers eastern field. The western field is infested with Parthanon, which frequently display the so-called 'Voltron' behaviour. Beware the Great Scourge that roams the area. Wayward Curmudgeon (24)

Small Camp, Lough Gur
Passing out of the county of Shannon Estuary through the charming cottage community of Cennai (known locally as the 'Shannon minimall'), one enters Lough Gur. In the northeastern most corner of this area a cautious traveler will encounter a ruined foundation. Just beyond to the east can be seen a campfire, and in the trees nearby, several Curmudgeon scouts and fighters. North from that location, a short distance up the hillside, another campfire can be found amongst an outcropping of stones, inhabited by another party of Curmudgeons. Curmudgeon Fighter (16-18); Curmudgeon Poacher (15); Curmudgeon Scout (16-17)

Along the Road to Innis Carthaig
Travelers will pass Curmie. This author suspects that this pathetic creature is not a true Curmudgeon. It does not associate with other Curmudgeons, nor does it react to Siabra in the same fashion. This could be some unfortunate person who has fallen afoul of an enchanter, and has been transmogrified into the current unhappy form it now wears. (Examples of this are rare, it is true, but for another example one need only look to the author's stepbrother's father, Frang.)

Lake Village, Cruachan Gorge
Directly north of Druim Ligen, the brave traveler will encounter a small lake. The northern banks are infested with a settlement of Rationers and Puggards. Curmudgeon Puggard (39-40); Curmudgeon Rationer (31-33)

Northern Mountains, Cruachan Gorge
North of Dun Lamfhota, up a steep revetment, pairs of Puggards and Scrappers patrol the coll. What they defend is unknown, and this author proposes an expedition to find out. To the west, a deep valley bedotted with standing stones is contaminated with lesser Curmudgeons. Curmudgeon Wanter (34-35); Curmudgeon Scrapper (40-43); Curmudgeon Puggard (39-40)

In and Around Cruachan Gorge
Roaming Curmudgeons, singly or in small numbers, may be encountered in other locations in the Gorge: the western hills above the Ant Colonies, in the south-central woods (through which one would travel from Druim Ligen to Dun Ailinne) or in the central area north of the Fomorian camp. They are not found in force, and there are more dangerous inhabitants nearby to concern oneself with.

Emain Macha
A very small population of Scrappers can be found south of the Midgard Portal Keep. Distinguishing them from the invading Midgardians is time consuming and thus highly dangerous, so this area is not a recommended for Curmudgeon hunting.

Scout Tower, Mt. Collory
North of Dun Dagda, located in a heavily wooded area, stands a sentry tower. This location is notable in that even for Curmudgeons, setting a watchtower in the midst of dense trees is blindingly stupid. The woods are home to Grovewoods, and the fields below host corpan side and other hostile creatures, so caution is required. However, once a safe vantage point is established, the Curmudgeons will be easily dispatched, as the scouts are obliging enough to stand in the tower making themselves convenient targets. A few scattered individuals can be found to the west of the road to the north. Curmudgeon Wanter (34-35); Curmudgeon Scrapper (40-43)

The Curmudgeon Bastion
A vile cauldron of Curmudgeon activity can be seen boiling away in a hill-fort in the northeastern section of the county. Set on a small, indefensible outcropping on a steep hillside, the mott is an incomplete ditch partially enclosed by an entirely decorative barbican of wooden stakes. Scouts walk the front of the fortification, and entirely ignore the unprotected rear. From a secure vantage high above, the traveler can attack down to the west into the camp, or southward to collect the delicious white boar herded by the inattentive Curmudgeons. This is not a turkey-shoot; however, as the Curmudgeons will eventually raise an alarm (after perhaps finally noticing the absence of a dozen or so of their colleagues) and come defend in force. Curmudgeon Wanter (34-35); Curmudgeon Scrapper (40-43); Curmudgeon Puggard (39-40)