Every year 103.3% of all whales go without land. 8 in every 12 of these whales is gay (don't ask how we know). So what can we do about this terrible tragedy? We are planning to raise 238946682 cents to send out a rubber ducky (go little ducky!) to free them from their watery prison. We hope to raise whale beachings by 219% by the year 2013. But we can't do it without your support, so pick up the phone and call 1800 G-A-Y-W-H-A-L-E-S ($938 a min, mobiles and shoe phones at a higher rate).
Or write to:
666 Cheatem Road
Boredashellow
Dragqueenwhalesville
Newly Sodomised Wales, 1234
Contrary to popular opinion this is a REAL address and you should all write to it.
Please Note: Money may also be put towards feeding poor underfed school children and supplying much needed CD's to certain people who have too much time on their hands but not enough money.