Randall: That was no man. That was a supreme being.
Kip: You mean that was god?
Randall: Well we don't know him that well, we only work for him.
"That's what I like. Little things hitting each other." -Napoleon
"I come to conquer Italy cause I think they are all really small guys." -Napoleon
"To be honest the making of the universe was a botch job. You see we only had seven days to make it." -Randall
"Have you met them before, 'The Poor'? Delightful chaps. Haven't got two pennies to rub between them but that's because they're poor." -Robin Hood
Satan: I am all-powerful!
Minion: But why, if that's the case, are you unable to escape from this fortress?
Blows up minion
Satan: That's a good question. I stay in this fortress...thinks for a little...to lull him into a false sense of security.
Satan: When I have the map I will be free and the world will be very different because I have understanding.
Minion: Er, understanding of what master?
Satan: Of digital watches!
"Soon I'll have understanding of digital cassettes recorders and car telephones, and when I have understanding of them I shall have understanding of computers, and when I have understanding of computers I shall be the Supreme Being!" -Satan
"God isn't interested in technology…look how he spends his time. 43 species of parrot! Nipples for men!" -Satan
"He created slugs! They can't hear, they can't speak, they can't operate machinery." -Satan
"If I were creating a world I wouldn't mess around with butterflies and daffodils. I would have started off with Lasers!" -Satan
Og: I've got an idea.
Randall: What are you talking about. You haven't had an idea for thousands of years.
"The ocean, how I love her. She's so…so…" -Wilfred
"Wet?" -Pansy
"How did I know we was gonna run into an iceberg. It didn't say 'get off before the iceberg' on the ticket" -Randall (on the Titanic)
Satan: Suddenly I feel very good.
Minion: I'm sorry master.
Satan: Don't worry, it'll pass.
Winston the Ogre: What should I do?
Winston's Wife: Terrify them!
Winston the Ogre: But what about me back?
Satan: We can turn fire into wind and wipe clean the surface of the earth!
Minion: We can make beans into peas!
"Dead? That's no excuse for laying off work." -God
"Honestly Trevor, if you'd been half a man you would have gone in after the blender." -Kip's Mother.
"Mum! Dad! It's evil, don't touch it!" -Kip
Mother and Father proceed to touch rock of evil and blow up.