Get your own Free Home Page Lister, Rimmer, and the Cat came rushing into the control room
of Starbug
after hearing Kryten's excited call. It was the middle of
the night; it had
to be something big. The question on everyone's minds was
the same: Could
it be that they had finally tracked down Red Dwarf?
"Eureka!" the mechanoid exclaimed. If he weren't
a mechanoid, he would
have been jumping up and down in excitement; he settled for
gripping the
last human being alive by the shoulders and shaking him
earnestly. "I've
found the answer! Oh, Mr. Lister sir, I've finally found
the answer!"
"To what?" Lister asked, rubbing the sleep from his
eyes.
"To a question that's been plaguing us for ages," he
replied knowingly.
"Have you found a way for us to catch up to Red Dwarf?"
Rimmer asked.
Kryten paused. "No, I haven't done that."
"Have you figured out who stole the ship?" asked Cat.
"Er, no, I haven't done that either," Kryten said.
"Do you even know where the ship is?" Lister sighed.
"Well, no," Kryten confessed.
"Then what's so smegging important that you felt you had to
wake us all up?"
Rimmer demanded.
"Why, it's how Legion could remove Mr. Lister's appendix,
when he'd already
had it removed years before."
The crew stared at him, speechless.
Undaunted, Kryten continued. "Do you remember several
years ago, when Mr.
Lister was transformed into a hamster and a chicken by the DNA
modifier?"
"How could I forget," muttered Lister.
"When it returned him to his natural form afterwards, it
used the DNA sample
it had scanned when he first stepped into the machine. That
DNA contained
the code to make Dave Lister, complete and intact. When it
remade him, it
did so in the exact same way -- complete and intact.
Hence, the new
appendix." The mechanoid looked extremely pleased with
himself. "I've been
pondering that conundrum for quite some time. What a
load off my mind."
The crew continued to stare.
"That's it?" Rimmer asked dubiously.
"Yes. What, it hasn't been bothering you as
well?"
"You mean you interrupted my beauty sleep for that?"
asked Cat in disbelief.
"Why, yes. Whatever's the matter? I would have
thought it would be as
great a relief to you as it was for me, to have finally worked
out the
answer to that little enigma."
The three stood there, dumbfounded. Then they shook their
heads and trooped
off back to the sleeping quarters.
"Well," said Kryten, watching them leave. "I
would have thought they would
have been jumping for joy. Humanoids -- sometimes I just
don't understand them."
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