Broadcast date: 12/14/98
Episode: #206
Location: Beverly Hills, Los Angelas
Summary
There's trouble in paradise when the guys drool over some Playboy bunnies.
BreakDown
This week, BMP puts eye candy into RW/RR Challenge, thus pushing the envelop on the shows TVPG rating.
What, no scenes from the whole season? This is a season final isn't it? Oh well, our scenes from last week left us with the on-hold relationship of Jason and Janet, Noah and Montana doing the salsa, Anne practicing for her round in the money chamber, and Montana constant moaning.
* * *
A few quick shots of the Playboy mansion with its marble fountains and expensive cars, gives way to Victoria Silvsted, playmate of the year 1997. She offers to take the gang on a tour of the Playboy Palace.
Jason's like..."where fixing to walk into the Hugh Hefner mansion. So I might as well light up a cigarette, and just follow the twin peaks of Bel-Air!"
Mark naturally takes up the lead, right behind Victoria (I'll call her Vicky for short!) while they walk through the gardens of lust.
Janet marvels at the beautiful landscape, and tells Montana that this would really be her dream house. "Ya, except for the bimbos with boobs running around." An annoyed Montana sneers.
The tour comes to a brief stop to marvel some more while Mark pushes another of Montana's buttons with "this is a guys paradise!" This pushes Montana's ranting even further! "This is like a reward for the guys. Hook a sister up will ya!
As the tour continues, Mark drools over Vicky some more copping quick feels along the way, while pulling one of the lamest pick-up lines...."You know, you look just like my girlfriend!" Vicky, who's used to hearing cheap line such as, pretends to be amused.
As it turns out. Hef's place is also a wildlife reserve with all the critters you'd expect to find on a tropical island: Peacocks, flamingos, and monkeys. The troopers scare some monkeys while Montana mopes some more.
It appears at the moment that Gavin's getting more action than Mark. At least he's in Vicky's arm. Who? You know, Neil's buddy and RW mascot Gavin the goat.
And Ya, I know! Why didn't I mention the darn thing in "Getting Dunked"? Personally, I thought it was a bit cheezy and immature. Besides, I already had enough with stuff bear. Why add insult to injury?
Vicky shows the gang their outdoor recreation area equipped with a hot tub, and water cascading down into a pool in a blue lagoon like setting. It's all there's until 11:00pm when it's Hef's time to party.
From there Vicky tells them about Hef's game house with special rooms for eh...you know. Beth, flirting with the issue ask, "for like, twister?" "Umm, ya whatever!" Vicky replies with a giggle. Insert your favorite dumb blonde joke here!
So Vicky leads the way accompanied by Kefla who ask her if she'll carry one his heavy bags. So much for southern hospitality!
They arrive in the game house (or game room since everything's in one area) which looks like your average pool hangout only with a lot more arcade games. And Hef's thought of everything! The girls notice and rush over to row of solid black PJ's hanging on the wall no doubt to increase the sexual atmosphere. And as they marvel and drool over silk bed gear, Janet and Beth gush, "This is really me!" followed by..."Oh, how COOL!".
Is it me, or does Beth seem a bit ditzy lately? Maybe her new surrounding are taking it toll on the old noggin!
What ever's getting to Beth, it's also getting to Noah as well. He strolls up to Jason playing the Hugh Hefner pinball machine (the mans logo is on everything). Amazed, Noah says..."WOW, it doesn't even use quarters!" Jason looks at Noah like he's a fool, which he is for making such a stupid statement! He ruffles Noah with, "We're in the %&@* Playboy Mansion, and all you can say is that this machine doesn't use quarters?".
Roni explores the back bedrooms adorn with Playboy porno mags. Jason plops himself on the bed expecting some bunny to come along, and give him a massage. Instead Vicky shows up to give him what every adolescent teenage boy dreams of a spanking.
Meanwhile, Noah struts around in his new bedroom attire chest out, looking too much like a BackStreetBoy. Asking for a pipe, or a cigar.
Vicky, feeling the need to raise the temperature a few degrees ask "does anyone want to go for a swim?" while pulling her hair back, exposing her full chest area for the guys and camera. Montana's like..."Why don't you drive that knife a little further in! Why yes, thank you. I would like to put a bathing suit on in front of a bunch of Playboy Models.".
We switch to outside where Mark and Nate cop quick feels while participate in a photo shoot with a couple more playboy bunnies. One brunet wearing tan slacks and a cream colored top. The other blonde modeling a black top and white skirt. Both with long hair.
The blonde bunny prances up holding a glass of wine to a table occupied by Noah, Montana, Anne, and Janet. Figuring it's her big time to brag, she introduces herself to the newbies as Stacey. She spouts off in a annoying valley girl like voice, "Hi, I was on the cover of playboy, in October of 97. I don't know if you guys saw it-" Then she poses in that fashion "catching a football!".
The girls are largely unimpressed. Montana gives her the scunk-eye: however, Noah looking for some trim, tries to impress her by saying that he has every playboy issue (knowing Noah, I wouldn't doubt it!). This further fuels her ego, so she continues babbling on about how her brother has always collected ever playboy issue, and now his sister's on it!
Talk about a egomaniac!
And just when I'm beginning to feel a bit sympathetic towards Montana, she blows it with..."Not only are they funny, they're intelligent too!". Says who??? Thus making the bimbo look good, and making her look like a idiot.
The troopers continues to listen to the bunny brag, but that doesn't mean I have too!
It's party time! Pool party that is!
Everyone gets their groove on in the pool while sucking on martini's, and giving each other massages. Neil says that everyone's getting very friendly out there.
Then the big man himself...no, not Mr. Big, but Hugh Hefner king of the Playboy Palace swaggers out in a red rose color house coat. Swarmed by his blonde bunnies, one on each arm. Mr. Hef, acting too much like a casino owner says, "I guess you've tried our water?" And while he continues his babbling, there's one in the bunch I "recognize". Hey it's Beth! I guess she's finally found a crowd to her liking. After all, this business doesn't require brains.
Hef introduces another one of his bunnies we haven't seen before Brandy. Beth's ahh-strucked over Mr. Hefner's youthful appearance. She purrs, "It was hard to believe that he was actually 73 years old! He obviously must get a lot of exercise, if you know what I mean!" Oh, will the sexual innuendoes ever stop!
A side reclining Noah shows up in a cameo to express how much of a good time he's having at the mansion. He says that the scenery is unbelievable. And I have a hunch he's not talking about the landscape! His attention focuses on Alissia, the long haired brunet we saw in the photo shoot earlier. Sticking with the mood of the evening, he ask her what's it like to pose naked in front of a zillion people. Now I don't know about anyone else, but on a first date I wouldn't ask a girl how she feels baring her body to a stranger. But since it's her line of work, anything goes!
Surprisingly, she rises to the bait and tells him that it's no big deal. Meanwhile, a thunderstorm of jealousy builds over Montana who doesn't like this slim, tan, and more attractive skirt honing in on her man. Since when did Noah (sober) anywhere mention that he liked Montana? He may have wanted to add her to his conquest list, but the buck stops there!
Feeling she may need some back up, Montana drags Anne along just incase verbal insults fail. While Noah and Alissia survey Playboy models on mag, Anne and Montana enter, pretending like there're going somewhere only to find the door locked. Darn, oh well, might as well finish what you came here to do, eh Montana?
She first ask what are they up to, then she drops the gantlet by giving Noah a little dating advice, "You know Noah, you deserve a girl at least, at least as intelligent as you.". Ouch! Even though on the surface the insult was meant for Noah, it drove right down into Alissia temper zone. And as expected, this gets a rise out of Alissia who takes personal offense to Montana's dating advice. Montana, you've messed with the wrong woman!
There job done, Anne and Montana stroll out giggling like the back stabbing wenches they are. Alissia turns to Noah demanding an explanation for Montana's immature sarcasim.
Meanwhile some of the gang bounces around on one of their for rent toys, the trampoline. And for those who are playing "Where's Waldoo", I can see Gavin for a split second getting trampled on.
Alissia, pissed at montana's unprovoked insults, pulls out her can of "asswoap"! "She will not disrespect me in my house!" Alissia spits as she walk through the back garden. Montana may get away with that crap with blonde air heads, but not with this brunet! Noah tags along groping Alissia. Pleading for her to chill out and spend the night with him. He looks like the poor sap who just got caught in bed with another woman. But she isn't accepting his cheap excuses. Instead, she turns her full anger toward Noah. Disapproving of his poor taste in woman, and bed attire. Looks like the only women Noah will be spending the night with will be the girls on the covers of his Playboy collection!
Nate raises a toast, congratulating both teams, inparticular RW for their lack of corporation, and poor display of teamwork. And his hopes that he'll never be paired with a bunch of slack-jaw slackers ever again! However, team RR's had a clean sweep all season. New plush luxury bus, a leader who didn't have to shield his pride, no uncorportive or back seat travelmates, and the only challenge they encountered in winning an event was deciding how many 50's they were going to sweep up in 4 minutes. These would seem to be the best of times. And now with a chance to win $50,000, nothing could possibly go wrong.
Or could it?
Nate, Montana, Mark, Janet, Jason, and Anne continue hopping on the trampoline. And apparently they ignored the warning sign that said..."No more than 4 occupants on trampoline at a time" because before you know it, Anne sprains her ankle (Looks like the same one as before). She collapse on the grassy lawn in pain. Here we get a good look at her ankle which has swollen to the size of a turnip. Nate hauls her to the game room where he applies ice packs on her foot in hopes of bringing the swelling down.
Even though Anne's in dyer pain, all she can think about is getting a round in the money chamber. Nate examines her foot, and it doesn't look good. They decide to take Anne to the hospital, but she doesn't want to go. Instead she whines and pleads all the way to the car for them to reconsider. But Mark reassures her that she'll be back in 30 minutes.
By far, Anne is least attractive when she cries. She could bring down a house of mirrors after getting one reflection of her mug in distress. Disable communication satellites, causing fender benders on information super highway, forget solar flares! Maybe some of you are wondering why I'm being a bit too harsh on Ole Anne. Especially since she dumped Jon for a Wisconsin frat boy, after he gave her a piggyback and kept company with her in a rundown shack when everyone else didn't give two cents about her while playing water sports and having a good time? Well I believe I just answered your question!
* *
Roni calls Nate to give a status report on Anne's ankle. And there's good news, and bad news. The good news is that swelling has gone down, but the bad news is it's broke. Nate ask how's Anne doing, Roni tells him that she's ok.
Nate blows a sign of relief. And now that all concerns have been lifted, on with the sexual festivities! Hugh Hefner's toony mug adorns just about everything in the game room. "Everywhere you look, everywhere you turn, you just think sex, SEX!" a hormonal Beth purrs. No more calls folks! She's a dumb blonde!
The rest of the gang has some fetish group orgy on the couch with the guys exchanging kisses, and overall getting more action than the girls. Janet gasp for air under the heap of pumped sexual tension gushing..."This is some sort of fat orgy! I can't take it, I'm sexually conservative!" Since when?
Then team spokesman Neil shows up to give his impression on the groups sexual bonding, "Everyone's getting a bit friendly out there" Didn't he already say that? My hat goes off to the editing staff. Jason and Janet exchange pinches, along with some more innuendoes. Mark says that there's a love connection brewing between them.
Enter sexy disco music here.
And what visit to the Playboy mansion wouldn't be complete without at least one couple getting it on!
The next morning, Jason takes a shower under the blue lagoon falls. And it's Candid Camera when he's confronted by one of the camera guys who caught him and Janet making out on the tennis court the night before. Ahh Janet, Lindsay would be so proud.
Acourse at first they both call the camera guy a stinking liar and dinghy the event ever took place. Then Jason fesses up and tells his side of the story which had too many holes to get a clear picture to begin with. On the other hand, he decides to give Janet respect by not telling the whole story. Pointing out that she doesn't like her private life air on tv. Ha, you should've seen her on the Real World man!
Feeling he has some new juicy gossip to rant, Neil teases Jason in (I'm guessing) the geriatric winnie, while Nate and Kalle stop at the infamous tennis court. Although I doubt it wont get as much tourist attention as one former Brentwood mansion.
Anne's back from the emergency ward sporting the latest attire for broken ankles. Kefla and Montana offer to keep her company.
At last! it's time to leave the sex palace. And ever wonder what Hef looks like in the morning? We find out as he leans his bare body out of his master bedroom telling everyone "morning, morning" (That's what the closed captioning read).
As the roadies are packing their stuff into the luxury liner, Wayne gives them their next clue. On it, we hear Mr. Big tell them that there going to send Ole Besty to the big R/V park in the sky. Go to the corner of Mission and Jesse street in downtown Los Angelas by 12:30pm. Do these people know the meaning of the phrase "Rest in Peace"?
Some of team RW (especially Jason) doesn't take the news very well. "Ah man, where're gonna kill Betsy?" Jason wonder aloud. I'd say they already accomplished that! Then we get the memory cam where we look back on poor Betsy's long ordeal with the misfits. On their way, Nate informs his team mates that Betsy's internal systems were to put it mildly, f%$@* up! So at least they have a reason to finish the job.
Soon they arrive at the demolition site to say their final good-byes to Betsy. Beth's eager to get the whole thing over with. "This is the best day of my life, to see that daaaamn winnie blown up!" What the hell did Betsy ever do to this fake wench besides haul her sorry butt around? Jason best sums it up with..."I want HER blown up in the winnie!" You ain't the only one bro! I Also want to point out that Beth's ankle has fulling healed. What a coincident Beth's ankle heals right around the same time Anne breaks hers. I smell a conspiracy!
They meet the pyrotechnition. And they don't give a name, but I bet 10 bucks he's from Arkansas! The pyrotech hands RW some control devices that look like (this is my bland description) tv remotes hooked to wires. Then he makes a foolish mistake by telling them not to play with the buttons while he checks on the wiring system. The man's got balls, you gotta hand him that!
They do the countdown.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.......
* *
Apparently the editing buff accidentally hit the rewind button during the commercial break because we hear the countdown again.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1--
Betsy goes foom!
Everyone jumps for joy, including Jason who doesn't seem that sympathetic towards Betsy anymore. While the gang is still rejoicing and giving commentary on Betsy's demise. We get replays of the explosion from different angles. Meanwhile, I check my tv guide to make sure I'm not watching another one of those lame Fox specials!
At last, the gang receives their final clue. Big tells them to get their butt over to the globe at Universal Studios by 3:00pm (There're getting a lot of time orders in this episode aren't they?). It's time to roll in the dough!
On there way, both teams reminisce some of their fondest memories on the trip. We get brief commentary on Nat/Kalle, Kefla/Roni, and Jason/Janet relationships.
Soon they arrive at Universal Studios. And in front of the big globe, they see the money chamber filled with crisp new bills just waiting to be picked!
Big is there as well. And after a brief greeting, he informs them on the rules...."You can't grab any bills on the ground, or on the ceiling (How could any of them reach the ceiling anyhow?), only in mid-air.".
With the rules layed down, team RR's up first. They all climb the stairs leading to the chamber. And hey, who's the new blonde with the ponytail? Oh ya, Anne's replacement, I assume. Anyway, the clock is set at 4:00min. And when everyone's in, Big cranks up the money machine and bills start to fly.
Montana's at ahhh over the spectacle. "It's like a bunch of sheep confused in a snow storm!". I don't know what kind medication Montana's on, but to me it looks like one of the those water filled glass balls you get a X-mas. You know the kind you shake and displays a winter like setting.
Team RR continues to scoop up cash until time runs out. Dang, that was the quickest 4:00min I've ever seen, but it's a 20min show after all.
Next it's team RW shot, and Jason's already complaining! He says in his best whinny/pout voice.."Oh man, ya know even though they got 4min, they took a lot of money in there. And all the 20's are all ripped up now, and we only have a 1min? That ain't fair! It's like we're getting scraps!".
Team RW drag their butts up in the money chamber, and Nate's like..."Tons of money all around. All in 20's (What happened to the 50's we saw in the first episode?) just waiting to be grabbed!". Mr. Big tells them to get set. The clock starts, and off they go!
Man, and I thought the 4min went by fast. Before RW can get the barring, it's all over! Janet's bummed that they didn't do much better, and suggest they should've envisioned grabbing those 20's during their missions. That way, they would've won. It's kind of "late" for that don't ya think?
Big tells both teams to get to work counting their money. They retreat to their vehicles where they ring up the bills. Roni's predicting that they'll have over $30,000. Nate has already counted $2,200 in his backpack alone.
When everything's tallied up, RW got $10,240. Not bad, but RR got $39,680. Team RR jumps for joy, but Mark wisely reminds them that's $6,500 a piece. "Still not bad" says Kefla who has plans of paying off his over due credit cards. Ya those cards can be a real pain can't they! Roni's ecstatic that she now has money for tuition.
And what season final would be complete without a group hug. One by one the cast from both teams begin commenting on their experiences during the trip.
Mark begins with Eventhought it was two teams battling out, it's one big group hug.
Followed by Janet Welcome to the family. Anne I've work so hard though every single
mission...and Noah After two weeks, two long hard and busy weeks.. Jason I was
able to make good friends. And that's more important to me than cash. Montana We were
playing games, and singing songs. I literally adorn the people who were on this trip, except for
Beth Beth I don't think that I bonded with you guys because I'm not a follower, I'm a
leader. Kalle I can not believe the bonds that formed, and the memories I have. Nate
It's open my eyes to a lot of different perspectives on things that I would not have had
before. Roni I'm just beyond grateful for this Kefla But that's what life is all about you
know. It's about meeting your new friends and keeping these new friends so you can go back for
them. Janet There's a comfort level you know and people bond a little quicker. Jason
And it's sort of Arkansas for all of us to start dating Neil There was some much greatness
during the whole experience makes me happy. I've gone from sad to glad. Or something like
that!
Analysis
I rarely don't like to use the word "suck", or 4 letter words in a analysis. This week, however, tests the limits of that policy. I'll settle for "aggressively unenjoyable."
Much of the sexual content was forced, and the show was only saved by the fact that the whole episode didn't revolve around the Playboy mansion. Had Hef's sex lounge consumed the intire show, this puppy would've gotten an automatic 0. That is if I still had my rating system which I'm reconsidering.
A more fulfilling title for this episode would've been "Show me the bunny!" I'm mean I understand it was meant as a little R & R for both teams. But it seemed the guys (especially Mark and Noah) benefited more from the pleasure palace (with it's Playboy Bunnies skimping around) more so than the girls. So I could in effect understand Montana's discomfort with the whole situation.
My main beef with Montana here was when she delivered a sly remark to Alissia for honing in on her man. Since when did I hear in any episode since "Getting Dunked" that they were a couple? Sure it was a one night stand, and to Noah, another conquest. But the buck stops there!
Montana could have handled that scene much better than she did. Here, I gave her some leverage because some of her complaints were justified. Over the past couple episodes, watching Montana has not been as an ordeal like it was early on.
However, that is more than I can say for Beth. WHAT IS WITH THIS GIRL! She was cooing enough sexual innuendoes to give Lindsay a run for her money! Purring stuff such as....."Everywhere you look, you think sex, sex, SEX!" and "He must get a lot of exercise, if you know what I mean!" Is just plain nutty. Watching Beth this entire series has been an ordeal. She has done nothing but whine and complain since her fall from fame (which she never began). But more so when she fell and broke her ankle in the first episode. I'm sorry, but they should've kicked her butt off right then and there! As in basketball, baseball, hockey and so on, when they get a injured man or woman out on the field. THEY REPLACE THEM IN ORDER FOR THE TEAM TO WIN! So allowing Beth to remain on the team was just plain dumb on RW's part. Then they groan and whine about how there're not winning because Beth's using her injury to get out of just about every event. WHAT DID THEY EXPECT?!?!
"Cough" Sorry about that.
What else.......ahh, Neil. I heard a lot of rumors that suggest he may be gay. Thie episode along with "This Joint is Jumping" sure warrants suspicion. Acourse you could let the talent show kiss slide because it was an "act". But when you get the scene in the sex lounge with the girls right there with them, and instead. Neil, Nate, Jason, and Mark lock lips with each other. You know something just isn't right!
For those who say Stephen's bi or gay because of his actions. You can cast Neil up there as a suspect as well. Come on, he dons nail polish! That's as revealing as Stephen prancing around in a blonde wig. Plus he cares a inflatable goat, sheep (whatever) around named Gavin.
That brings me to another rant. What's with all the pre-school antics such as BMP throwing in a stuffed bear for the kids to fight over, Irene snoozing with a stuffed dog, and Neil dragging around a blow-up goat? These people are in there 20's right? I stopped sleeping with stuffed animals when I was 9. Ya I know, kind of late, but it sure beats 22 and 25, Yeeesh! Sorry if it sounds like I'm slamming this episode a little too much.
The final mission was ok except I didn't feel there was a need for it. After all poor Betsy (That's right, I'm spelling it "Betsy"!) had to endure with team RW, they pay a final showing of "disrespect" by blowing her to RV land.
The money machine was pretty cool. One nick pick I want to point out though. In the first episode, both teams were shown bundles of brand spankin new 50's. Here, they get ripped-up, crumpled 20's. Why the decrease in bill size? My guess is even though both teams had a chance to win up to, up to.....$50,000, MTV or BMP wanted to make it as difficult as possible. Having only 20's in there greatly decreased the chance they would have to scoop up $50,000 in 4 minutes.
However, in 4 minutes, team RR had already won $39,000 with only 20's. And it's no doubt had there been all 50's in there, they would've easily won over $50,000. But we can't have that now can we MTV?
What else.......oh ya! The blonde stand-in for Anne most likely got a sum of the reward as well. Heck, I wouldn't have done that for nothing. Poor Anne seems to always break something when doing almost any physical activity. And she seemed to have been doing so well up until the trampoline mishap.
Kefla and Roni had some good scenes in this episode. But if K/R was the top headline throughout this series, then Jason and Janet stole the show in this episode! Actually this was a bit of a surprise to me. I figured J/J would've gotten it on back in "Bed Sores". I really didn't think J/J got as much camera time as they deserved. In fact, the only episode beside this one to take a focus on their relationship was "Bed Sores".
Not to say that K/R didn't deserve any camera time. There relationship was by far #1 in my book with consistency episode after episode. Recently, I read a persons comment on one message board about how they felt the editors made Kefla seem uncaring and proceeded to segregate himself and Roni from the rest of the team.
It certainly looked that way during the entire series. And I remembered Kefla complaining in RR Aussie that he wished he had another black person on the trip. But you also have to realize that the editors only allow us to see soooo much. There probably were scenes where Kefla mingled, and got along well with the other travelmates. But it seems the only scenes MTV allowed us to view were those in which he was acting uncooperative, uncaring, and chose to separate himself from the group. And I just didn't buy it!
Nate and Kalle was in effect "the relationship that wasn't!". Apart from when Nate temporally defects to RR, and the club scenes, we hardly ever got any deep chemistry/conversation between these two (That was shown!).
But I don't mean to come down hard on the editing staff because they only have 6 episodes to cram 12 cast members, 3 relations, 7 missions, 7 location, 3 winnies, 2 whinos, and 1 inflatable goat/sheep for roughly 20 minutes of on air time each episode.
So over all, not a bad series. It would've been more enjoyable to watch had Beth and Montana not
shown up.
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