Welcome to my site, almost exactly like twelve thousand other personal sites out there. This one, though, is about me, and there're only two other ones out there that can say the same thing.

Recently spiffed up but still sucking!

I do a lot of writing. Some things I write are plays. Some are stories. Some are weird ramblings. Some are poetry. Some are pieces of other previously written stuff pieced together. One is a big list of trivial facts about cows. Read them. Or don't. I can't force you to unless I break in your house and rip open your skull and manually control your eyeballs to force you to read it, but that just takes too much time and effort.

LEGAL STUFF

Yes, every webpage has one. Well, maybe not every webpage, but...you know what I mean.

This is copyrighted material, although it has not been registered with the United States Copyright Office and therefore is not legally protected. Professional driver on closed course. INSTRUCTIONS: Empty packet into microwave-safe bowl. Add up to 2/3 cup milk or water. Microwave on HIGH 1 to 2 minutes; stir. Adult supervision required. If you are not fully satisfied with your purchase, please return it with the original sales receipt within 90 days. We will exchange it, repair it, or offer you a refund based onyour method of payment. Offer void where prohibited. Please allow six to eight weeks for loading the page. Remove plastic, then eat. There is no pornography on this webpage, so don't waste your time looking, teenagers. Violators will be threatened with prosecution, but not actually prosecuted, so lucky you. Caution; contains small parts that could become a choking hazard for children under three. Shoplifting is illegal, so cut it out. NOTICE: The fabric in this product meets the requirements of the Federal Flammable Fabrics Act. Precautions should be taken to avoid ignition of the raised cotton surface by open flames or other sources of intense heat, particularly if you use fabric softeners on this product. See store for details. Unleaded fuel only. Twelve forms of photo identification are required. Do not remove this tag under penalty of law. Not to be used as a personal floatation device. Some restrictions apply. No purchase necessary. For best results, squeeze from bottom. This product is not dishwasher-safe. Do not paint face with housepaint. If accidentally ingested, consult physician. If purposely ingested, consult psychiatrist. May contain peanuts. Do not put in backwards. This website is best when viewed with a computer. Portions of this program not essential to outcome have been omitted. Off road use only. This product can burn eyes. The sale of this website without its cover is unauthorized. If you purchased this website without a cover, you should be aware that it was reported to the creator as "unsold and really, really low quality." Neither the author nor the creator have received payment for the making of this webpage. Please keep out of reach of children. Offer good while supplies last. If rash develops, discontinue use. Ask your doctor. Warning: coffee is hot. Please do not ahck this site up. Do not use while sleeping. Manufacturer assumes no responsibility for defects. Liface is no longer a punk, so he's allowed to view this website now. Kids, don't try this at home. Not intended for human consumption. Do not use near open flame. Follow directions on label. Possible side effects include: insomnia, drowsiness, psychosis, athlete's foot, swimmer's ear, tennis elbow, death, or sporkophilia. Sorry, no COD's. Management assumes no responsibility for stolen shoes. Do not use in shower. Do not use orally. This product can burn eyes. Ingredients: Whole wheat, sugar, rice, flour, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, fructose, maltodexterin, dextrose, salt, tricalcium phosphate, caramel and annatto extract color, zinc and iron (mineral nutrients), vitamin C (sodium ascorbate), a B vitamin (niacinamide), vitamin B₆ (pyridoxine hydrochloride), vitamin B₂ (riboflavin), vitamin B₁ (thiamin mononitrate), vitamin A (palmitate), a B vitamin (folic acid), natural flavor, nonfat milk, vitamin B₁₂, vitamin D. Freshness preserved by BHT. Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near. Oh, and please, don't operate motor vehicles in the nude.