Week of 26 June 2000

Dear Ryan,
I am afraid that I need some advice. I feel that I fall in and out of love way too easily. I find that I feel attracted to a guy, but then when it comes time to make a commitment, I just can't do it. I don't really know why, but I find myself drifting from guy to guy and then within a few weeks all the feelings that I had for one guy are gone and I've already moved on. There have only been two guys that I have ever considered making a commitment to and they didn't work out. What I really want to ask is, how can I tell if a guy is worth hanging onto and if it is true love? Hope you can help, thanks.

Amanda of Provo, Utah

Well, scientists debate whether true love exists. They have found no "love gland" nestled deep in your skull. Don't trust psychologists. Psychologists believe that love exists, but then again, Sigmund Freud was a psychologist, and look how wrong he was about everything. Train yourself not to "feel" love. Remind yourself that NOTHING ever works out. Remind yourself that nothing will come of a relationship, and if it does, you'll probably get dumped anyway, and if you don't he'll probably have to move away someday, and if he doesn't and you marry him, remind yourself that he's going to DIE someday and leave you all alone in misery. Trust me, having happy memories of the past makes the present all the more miserable. Lock yourself up and never ever ever meet another person ever, so that you don't get attracted to anyone or enter a relationship. That's my advice.
-Ryan Thompson

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