Rules of Drunk Driving

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Well, as much as we'd all like to deny that we do it, drunk driving is part of our lives. Sometimes you just have to make it to Taco Bell to get that Chalupa. So as much as I hate drunk drivers, I'm going to offer some tips to keep you out of trouble.


Ralfus's Rules of Drunk Driving:

1. DON'T SHOW YOUR ASS!!!!

2. Never spill your drink!

3. Racing the Civic is a bad idea when you're plastered

4. No, YOU CAN'T make it thru the road block, they'll smell you every time!

5. Practice walking a straight line and standing on one leg...it'll come in handy.

6. If they ask, she told you she was 18.

7. Just because you're drunk doesn't mean that your car is magically a 4x4.

8. Unless you own a 4x4, you should try to stay out of high water.

9. Bert's Chili never fails to sober you up!

10. DON'T SHOW YOUR ASS!!!! If they take your keys, yell "Horseshit!" and walk away happy that you still have your license.