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ACT I, Scene 3

Can You Feel the Lovehandles Tonight Music by Elton John, Words by John Abrahams

Scene: A backalley one bedroom apartment.  The resident, MITCHELL, sits among discarded  Schlitz beer cans, when a knock at the door rouses him from a stupor . . .

He is bombed, on a bender, at the end of day When the heat of a breaking wind, can't be fanned away At the door, in a moment, and he sees you It's not enough for this shiftless layabout, just to be with booze And can you feel the love handles tonight? They are on our side Schlitz is not enough for this boozy fumbler Beer is not my bride And can you feel the love handles tonight? Without a dollar spent It's enough to make these sheets pitch and stretch Into our love tent There's a time for everyone if they only learn To pick up a six-pack with their toe, drink it while love burns There's a gasp of unreason, a collective recoil When the arm of this booze-soaked lover reaches for the baby oil! ("Nooooo!") And can you feel the love handles tonight? They are on our side Schlitz is not enough for this boozy fumbler Beer is not my bride And can you feel the love handles tonight? Without a dollar spent It's enough to make these sheets pitch and stretch Into our love tent