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Act III, Scene 1

I Guess That's Why They Call Schlitz the Booze Music by Elton John, Words by Victor Ramirez

Scene:  MITCHELL on his couch, Schlitz can in hand.  At first it seems like he's singing to himself, but the observant will notice he directs all comments to the beer can, as if it were his only friend.

(Mitchell) I can't put you away I know you will not last forever. Between you and me, I can honestly say That you make everything better. And while I'm passed out, My liver is dying inside. And it won't be long, before again I do run To the place in my Schlitz where I hide. And I guess that's why they call Schlitz the booze Time with some friends, could be time spent with you Puking my guts out, drinking like fishies Hangover that bring horsies to their knees! And I guess that's why they call Schlitz the booze I stare into space, Picture a Schlitz in my hands Live for each second, so I can drink some more beer And try to imagine I'm a man. Don't drain on me girl Don't go dry in the night, that's no help Now more than ever, I simply love you More than I love life itself And I guess that's why they call Schlitz the booze Time with some friends, could be time spent with you Puking my guts out, drinking like fishies Hangover that bring horsies to their knees! And I guess that's why they call Schlitz the booze (Mitchell kills the can, then pitches forward, passed out colder than a frozen mackerel, while the next number, "Saturday Night's All Right for Lying Around" is performed by Chorus.  Interpretive dance includes men dropping guns down their pants and splashing beer on women's thighs)