Hellou little children, come gather 'round and let me tell you a magical story of a lion. Now you may have heard a story like this before, but today I will tell you the truth behind the ledgend....of Disney.
    By now I hope you have deducted that I am indeed talking about Lion King. Hopefully. Do you think Disney movies 'wholesome'? Or 'wholeweatsome'? I sure pray to god not, because whatever I just said, isn't a word...but that is off subject. My point being, whatever you previously thought about Disney is wrong! Unless you thought they were a bunch of perverted sickos out to contaminate young children's minds...then you were right. Go you. Here's a cookie, but for the rest of you, your education starts now.
    Let's take a look at the story line here. Young lion, evil uncle, and his dad's the king, yeah yeah blah blah. So Simba 'causes' his fathers death, he runs away Scar takes the throne, Hyenas get in there somewhere, but here's the part you may not recognize. Take a VERY close look at two very special characters; Timon and Puma. While at first glance, a pair of stupid and slightly endearing furry animals that help Simba out. NO! Do not be put off by this innocent and fluffy exterior. Now let us go through the logical steps...
    Weelll, if you haven't guessed by now you might as well stop reading this....ummm....thing. Or you can keep reading, it's not like I can tell. The first gay couple! All the signs are there! Along with some subliminal messages, such as the much beloved "acuna matata" or however you spell that..*cough cough* While popular consent is that it means "No worries" the REAL meaning (devised by my experts during an all-night session to unlock the movie's secrets) "We are gay!" or otherwise translated to "Gay power!". You may ask what the proof behind this all is and I'll tell you...it's confidential...*mutter mutter*
    Posture is a clear indicator of the gay level. Indeed, if you watch Timon he constantly takes 'girlish' stances during the whole movie. Also, during one unspecified part of the movie he was butt banging* Puma. They also show fierce fighting instincts when the other in put in danger. Consider Puma turning into a little wart hog Schwarzenegger when Timon is trapped. I think that Timon takes the dominate male position in the relationship due to lack of actual control over any given situation.
    Now on to parental emotions that we might want to acually think about. With the long delayed meeting of Simba and Nala, Timon expresses great concern of who his 'hunny bun' is going to run away with. While he takes the offensive dominant stand, Puma is already 'graveling' to Simba and agreeing. Then everyone remembers the cute 'Our Pal is Doomed' song. This is the lament of the separation of child and parent coupled by the fact that Simba is in fact straight.
    This humble article...thing proves that Disney is a strong supporter of Gay couples and more power to them! Remember just to avoid all subliminal messages of sex and porn stars that might be written in the sky, waterfalls and ground during the movie. Thank you for taking time to read this totally unfounded essay on Disney. Acuna Matata!

    *Sorry people, couldn't resist. That's just the part when he's trying to save Puma from Nala. =D

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