Three months passed since Graham's death and Spike had installed himself in Willow's home. She welcomed the company, and the two had repaired their damaged friendship.

Willow talked about Graham often, sharing with Spike the reasons why she loved him so much. Spike had actually begun to appreciate the Commando for all that he did for Willow. The vampire knew that Graham was truly in love with her, and that she was in love with him. Some days Spike actually found himself wishing Graham was still alive... he knew that Willow deserved a love like that for more than just ten years.

Willow talked to all of her friends, as usual, once or twice a week but never mentioned Spike. She didn't know how they would react to him living in her home. She feared they would think her a horrible woman. <Here I am, a widow of three months, and I'm living with another man, and have been since my husband died! Even though he's just a friend, and nothing's going on between us.... goddess, doesn't he look good walking around in a towel after a shower....>

Willow hungered for the intimate touch of her husband. If there was something she could depend on in their relationship, it was that. The two of them, even after ten years, could make love with exploding passion, just as if it were their first time.

The day Buffy Finn found out about Spike was the turning point in Willow and Spike's relationship. Willow had gone to the mall to get out of the house. She relished daytime because she could go out alone. Spike was constantly underfoot, making sure she was ok.

*-*-*-*

The phone rang. Spike reachd over and picked it up, his eyes glued to the TV set. "Yup, Red, you got me. Make it quick, Passions is on." No one ever called Willow during the day, so it never occured to him not to answer the phone.

There was silence, then... "Spike?"

Spike sat up, eyes widening. "Slayer?"

"Spike, what are you doing at Willow's?" she asked, her voice taking on a frantic edge, remembering what was said ten years before. "Spike, I swear to god, I know you don't have that damn chip anymore, Angel told me all that, and if you hurt Willow, I promise you I will dust you so fast, your head won't have time to spin!"

"Whoa, hey, Slayer, calm down! She's fine. I haven't touched her. Promise."

"Where is she?"

"Mall, I think."

"Spike...." Her tone was threatening.

"Bloody hell, Slayer, do you think I'm truly that evil? That I'd come back and kill Red?"

"You promised, remember?"

"I was...upset," he said softly.

"We all knew that, Spike. You reminded us, constantly."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Slayer, she's not here. Can I get her to call you back?"

"She's fine?" Buffy asked.

"Wonderful. Heart beats and everything. I've been making her eat, and sleep. And she's even looking healthy again. She smiles some times too." His voice got quiet. "She misses him. A lot. She wakes up sometimes at night, screaming for him, or she will clutch to me in her sleep and tell me she loves me, only she calls me Graham. Of course, I never tell her about those....."

"You are SLEEPING with her?"

"Slayer, not because I want to!" <What a load of crap. I've always wanted to.> "She can't sleep unless someone is holding her. Since I'm the only other person in the house, it's me."

"How long have you been there?"

"Day after the funeral. She couldn't tell any of you guys. I think she's scared you will think she's horrible." Spike sighed. "Wait, Peaches knows. He told me about Graham. So I came. And I promised her I would be here until she didn't need me anymore."

Buffy laughed a happy laugh. "You still love her!"

"WHAT?" Spike yelled, bolting up. He almost crushed the phone he was so startled by her statement. "What the hell did Peaches tell you?" he growled.

"Angel? He didn't say anything."

"That daft chit he's married to? Wesley? They told you?"

"No one told me, Spike," Buffy said softly.

"Well...how?" He sat back down, stunned.

"I just knew. I've always known. I've seen you watch her. I knew that's what the fight was about, that you were angry, because she loved Graham, and he loved her. And Spike, I understand what your frustration was. You still had the chip and the one thing you wanted, other than your bite, you couldn't have. Now that I'm.... older... I'm sorry we weren't more sympathetic to your needs. You were, actually, a part of the group."

Spike looked down. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Slayer." "Yea, well don't tell anyone. I still have a reputation, you know."

Spike laughed. "I'm glad you weren't nice back then. It made leaving easier."

"You shouldn't have left," Buffy said.

"Yea, I know," Spike replied. He heard Willow unlocking the front door. "Now, Slayer, promise me you won't say anything to Red. I don't want her to know that I love her."

Buffy sighed. "I promise."

The door opened. "Spike! I'm home!"

"Hey, Red," Spike grinned. "Slayer's on the phone."

Willow stopped, her eyes widening. "Oh, goddess..."

"S'ok. She doesn't give a rat's ass that I'm here."

Willow sighed. "Cool. Thanks, Spike. I'll be upstairs if you need me," she said, grabbing the phone.

"Sure, pet. I'm trying to watch Passions. Missed a whole ten minutes because of her. Give her hell for me."

"Ten minutes?" Willow asked Buffy, looking at Spike with surprise.

"Yea, you know, I had ten years worth of insults to get out," Buffy replied.

"Oh, god, Buffy, I can't imagine what kind of insults you came up with," Willow giggled as she walked up the stairs.

"Tell that chit I'm still the Big Bad!" Spike yelled from the couch.

*-*-*-*

Willow settled on her bed. "...And I walked around the park, and now I'm home. As a whole, it was a good day."

"What's going on, Will? What's he doing there?"

"He came when Graham died. He helps me."

Buffy laughed softly. "And he's currently living there, watching Passions during the day?"

"Well, duh. It's not like he can go out in the sun, Buffy."

"I can see you still have feelings for him." Buffy smiled knowingly, even though Willow couldn't see it. She was the only person in the world Willow had told about her feelings for Spike, except for Graham. He had known everything about his wife.

"Goddess, Buffy, it's horrible! Graham and I never went more than three days without... you know,... and Spike still looks as good as he ever did..."

"So it's just hormones at play here? No fluttery heart feelings?"

Willow sighed. "My heart is still trying to mend. But....I don't know. Sometimes, I feel like Spike is the glue...."

"Jump him."

"WHAT? NO!"

"Well, it was just a thought.... Let me ask you this. What would Graham have wanted you to do?"

Willow was quiet as she thought about it. All Graham ever wanted was for her to be happy, and, undeniably now, she was not happy. She missed Graham more than the she thought possible, but Spike stirred up the feelings she once had for the vampire. "I don't know. I have to think about that for a while."

"Let me know what you decide. I have to get going, Riley is taking me out."

"I love you, Buff. Hey, don't tell anyone, ok?"

"Secret is safe with me."

"Thanks. Love you, Buffy."

"You too, Will."

Willow hung up. She lay back against the pillows, her mind trying to wrap around the idea of being with Spike.

*-*-*-*

Downstairs, Spike indulged himself in the guilty pleasure of fantasizing being Willow's lover. A small smile graced his features as he imagined all the ecstasy he could give Willow. "Someday, Red. Someday."