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1: You're so fat, when you get up and turn around in class you erase the black-board!
2: You're so fat, in school you sit in the first and second rows!
3: You're so fat, in school everybody sits next to you!
4: You look like a Saint... a Saint Bernard (I knew this one even before I saw it on the Video Music Awards)
5: You're mind is like cement... all mixed up and permanently set!
6: In one ear and out the other? The problem is that there's nothing to block the traffic!
7: You're so ugly, when you were born you're picture was sent to Ripley and the response came back, "I don't believe it!"
8: You look like an angel fallen from the skies... that just happened to land on its face.
9: The only purpose your brain serves is to keep your head from caving in!
10: You've got so many chins, when you burp it looks like somebody closing a venetian blind!
11: You're so fat, it takes you two trips to haul ass! (Chuck McCann)
12: You're so fat, you have to wake up in sections! (Paul Jameson)
13: Your glasses are so big, when you look at a map, you can see people waving! (Ian Couglar)
Numbers 14 to 23 are from Leanne LeGender (I hope I spelled that right)
14: You're so stupid, you stared at an orange juice for 20 minutes because it said "concentrate"
15: You're so fat, you jumped in the ocean and the whales started singing, "We are family..."
16: You're so stupid, a job application said "Sign Here" and you wrote 'Scorpio'
17: With reference to the above job application, it said "Sex:" and you marked M, F, and wrote on the side, "Occasionally Wednesdays"
18: You're so old, you fart dust!
19: You're so old, you sat behind Jesus in third grade.
20: You're so fat, they use the elastic in your underwear for bungee jumping!
21: You're so fat, you sat on an oreo and unlocked the magic!
22: You're so stupid, you told your pals to meet you on the corner of "walk" and "don't walk"
23: Wanna know how fat you are? The horse on your wrangler jeans is real!
Numbers 24 to 28 are from Dan McGrath
24: You're so sour when you bite into a lemon it makes faces!
25: You're so dumb you play russian roulette with a shotgun!
26: You look as beautiful as a crow that took a nap on the road!
27: You saw Shamu and said "Does it come with fries?"
28: Hey, fatso, when God said "Let there be light" he told ya to move!
29: You're so big, so sat down in a tractor-trailer and turned it into a lowrider!
I'll put up any insults that conform to the following rules:
1: Nothing completely vulgar, disgusting, or sexual
2: Clever
3: Not biased or racist in any way
Remember, I have the final word on what goes up!!!
TO THE HOMEPAGE!!!