PI: You know, you look even bigger in person! But I guess we're not the first to tell you that, huh?
JLA: *dead silence*

PI: So, tell us a little about what it's like to be Hollywoods's most famous bodypart.
JLA: *dead silence*

PI: Really? So you don't see what all the hoopla's about?
JLA: *dead silence*

PI: So what do you think about actresses jumping on the ass bandwagon? Like, that Zeta Jones chick putting her ass all up in the air while ducking lazer beams in that new Sean Connery flick. That was total jealousy, if you ask us.
JLA: *quiver*

PI: Yeah, that pissed us off too. We paid like 9 bucks to get in, and she wasnt even naked. Speaking of naked, are you planning to go the Playboy route anytime soon?
JLA: *dead silence*

PI: What, are you kidding us? I'm sure there are legions of men out there that would pick up TWO copies of that issue!!
JLA: *blush*

PI: Anyway, what do you think of our troops pulling out of Kosovo? Good move, or premature?
JLA: *dead silence*

PI: Yeah, we don't trust them either. Well, it's not really as if they're a threat anymore- we destroyed most of their...
JLA: *interjects* *dead silence*

PI: ...Good point. Ok, let's get ready to wrap this up. Thanks for your time... And by the way- Can we get a hug?
JLA: *dead silence*

*hug that lasted 4 hours*

Disclaimer: This was not an interview with Jennifer Lopez's ass, it was satire. The ass interviewed was Negative Creep's. Thanks fer readin'!!