Well, here we are- 1 year later in our experiment to see exactly how much sarcasm & drunken stupidity that the internet will be able to sustain before all the world's computers rebel & crash. Hopefully, we'll be able to accomplish our goal by the end of this year, but if not- we got enough spite under our belts to last well into the year 3000, so don't fret! Over the year, we gained a lot of readers through word of mouth, (mostly winos passin' time in the library) and from skywriting. We have a pretty good fan base, even though 99% of em, are the winos in the library, and we intend to gain even more readers by going door-to-door at the local mental asylums and massage parlors within the next few months. Realizing that many of you jumped on the bandwagon late, we have decided to give you a glimpse of how it all started. The page you are about to see by clicking on the link below is our very first issue. We were naive internet newcomers and thought HTML was some wacky civil-rights group. Looking back, our 1st page was quite primitive, and slightly embarassing. You will see an immediate difference in our stances & humor. Among the differences:

The title of the page is "P.I.". It took us a while to realize how much we would ultimately be disgusted by our fellow netizens, hence our current title- P.I. Hates You™!

Oscar, our P.I. badwill mascot, is missing. It wasnt until we paid that bastard Henson off, that we were able to swing the deal which brought the cranky green imp to our page. Looking back, we overpaid.

There was an extra author! Fathead Suburbia! F.S. was actually a neighborhood drunk who came a-tappin' on the windows of P.I. Headquarters one day while we were writing the page- and after we scalded him with a pot of hot water, he just stood there and laughed at us while babbling incoherently about the government and the high cost of ripple. Impressed by his moxie and his elequent political theories, we realized that his wisdom would be a great addition to the page in the months to come. We took him under our wing, and his name was listed for a few months, but then sadly, he passed on. We dont mean he died, he moved on- disappeared. Took a bottle of our rotgut before he left. If we ever see him again, he's a dead man.

Our now-famous earth gif was just a wire-frame model back then. It took months of hard labor to recreate the texture of earth panel-by-panel. Who knew we coulda just stole a complete gif from someone else's site? We're still kickin ourselves over that one.

Man, willya look at that tagline? How cheezy can ya get? And that current event- man! Sheer Terror's rant was a little shorter than usual, and we could only think of 1 real category. We've come pretty far, no?

The list goes on... we only had 1 skull gif to work with, no counter... we were just a pathetic mess. Luckily, we have made great strides since '97, and plan to get bigger & better in the years to come. ...

On second thought, no, we don't. We plan to shove the same crap down your throat now, that we did then. It was unfunny then, and it's less funny now. Why do you continue to read? To see how low we'll stoop for a cheap laugh next week. Thanks for your patronage, and have a nice day!