2) More Fun: Dreidel or Dingus?
"Dingus...if
that
means hanging string over your head and attaching it to a
coat
hanger that you bang with a fork....stoned, of
course"
Are you coming on to us?
*Threatens us with prop
machete*
3)
Were you driving the car that hit Stone
Cold?
"No, but I shoveled up his gonads
afterward."
4) Finish the rap, Tom: "G's Up, Hoe's Down ...
__________"
"Your mother's an idiot....your
father's a
clown"
Note: Sorry, we were looking for "And
if
that bitch can't swim, she about to driz-own!"
*Frown*
5) Being the master of special effects that you are,
have you ever created a life sized prop of yourself to sit
in for you at Jury Duty?
"Only dummies report
for jury
duty, so they wouldn't know the difference anyway."
6) Will you join us and our webpage readers in a tearful
rendition of "We Are The World"?
*singing* "We
are the
world...*sniff* ...we are the magpies."
7) Ever wake up in the loving embrace of a mustachioed
manchild wearing nothing more than a codpiece and a grin?
"Yeah, but it turned out to be me!"
8) We want to send you some coupons. Lucky Charms™ or
Aim™?
"Lucky Charms with an Aim coating. Fat
free, of
course"
9) *Putting on special
Goggles* I
see you! ... Chocolate
man!
"Whatever it is I think I see... becomes a
Tootsie Roll to me"
10) Heads or tails?
"Heads from Monica....
Tails
from
Judy"
11) What's so friggin' scary about a guy pissing in the
corner? (you know- the Blair Witch Project's oh-so-terrifying
finale)
"Absolutely nothing....unless you are
sitting
in that corner."
12) For the love of God, why didn't the M.P.A.A. have
the
common decency and good taste enough to censor Markie
Mark's prosthetic wee-wee?
"Wait....you are
asking why
the M.P.A.A. does NOT have common sense? I duplicated that
scene
myself in my mirror, and in that movie, it looked like a
penis....only smaller."
13) Did you get caught up in the "Vogue"-ing fad of the
early 90's, and if so, is there really "nothing to it" as
the song claims?
"I tried it and kept hitting
myself
in the face."
14) Yo, check out this skull! "That skull is not anatomically
correct, and could use a little more
yellow."
*Highly
insulted* Ohh!... Mister expert!!
15) Scarier: Death by zombie or chick with
A-cups?
"Zombie chick with A cups!"
16) In your lengthy and illustrious career we know that
you
have often used latex to bring your creations to life. We
were wondering how much you would charge us to whip up a
batch of custom made condoms with Hockey Mask reservoir
tips?
"I only make condoms with clown faces on
the end
with long protruding tongues. Sorry."
17) Less humorous- Veronica's Closet or premature
ejaculation?
"Premature ejaculation while
watching Veronica's
Closet."
We've been there,
dude!
18) If we handed you a loaded gun and 3 separate suicide
notes, would you please be kind enough to put us outta our
f#@king misery already?
"Yes, as long as
when I put you out of you misery only one note is found
saying that You couldn't be in the world anymore with such
stupid people."
One Note. Mass Suicide.
Intriguing! May
we refer to you as "Do"?
19) How much do you regret accepting this
interview?
"See my suicide note.....same as
above."
We're starting to get the impression that
you DON'T like us! But we know better than that!
*Loads Dick Gun™*
20) Can we get a hug?
"Hugs cost
money....how
about
a kiss?"
If ya wanna know
more
about Tom (as if this all-encompassing interview wasn't
enough),
click on his handsome mug....
Click
Click