Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate

1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.

2. Switch the sheets on your bed while s/he is at class.

3. Twitch a lot.

4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.

5. Walk and talk backwards.

6. Collect all your urine in a small jug.

7. Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring you food.

8. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.

9. Ask your roommate if your parents can move in "just for a couple of weeks."

10. Eat glass.

11. Smoke ballpoint pens.

12. Smile. All the time.

13. Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.

14. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances.

15. Dye all your underwear lime green.

16. Spill a lot of beer on his/her bed. Swim.

17. Hide your socks and underwear in your roommates closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.

18. Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate's parents (postage due).

19. Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to discuss them.

20. Paint your half of the room black.

21. Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with "Didja ever wonder why...". Be creative.

22. Shave one eyebrow.

23. Always flush the toilet three times.

24. Give him/her an allowance.

25. Listen to radio static.

26. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.

27. Cry a lot.

28. Whenever your roommate comes in from the shower, lower your eyes and giggle to yourself.

29. If you get in before your roommate, go to sleep in his/her bed.

30. If your roommate goes away for the weekend, change the locks.

31. Skip to the bathroom.

32. Sit on the floor and talk to the wall.

33. Stare at your roommate for five minutes out of every hour. Don't say anything. Just stare.

34. When you walk into your room, turn off your lights. Turn them on when you leave.

35. Insist on writing the entire lyrics to American Pie on your ceiling above your bed. Sing them every night before you go to bed.

36. Burn incense.

37. Refuse to commuicate in anything but sign language.

38. Wipe deodorant all over your roommate's walls.

39. Leave apple cores on his/her bed.

40. Don't ever flush.

41. Buy an inflatable doll. Sleep with it.

42. Dress in drag.

43. Lick him/her while they are asleep.

44. Try not washing. For a semester.

45. Spend a lot of time high.

46. Play Super Mario Brothers 1 and talk about how modern/advanced it is. (-Super Turtle)

47. Sing to yourself. Alot. (-Mysticus)

48. Continuously try to contact the "homeworld". (-Super Turtle)

49. Just be yourself. (-Super Turtle)


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