August 26, 2002 -- 11:18 PM

Avril Lavigne - Things I'll Never Say

Haven't updated in a while but who cares I'm probably the only one that checks this site lol. My brother got back from a 2 week vacation in Hawaii. It turns out he's learning guitar too so that's cool. Friday and Saturday I was at Maryland visiting relatives. My cousin turns out to be a big Avril fan too so all that he played on his stereo was her cd.. and now I'm learning her songs - yeah lol. Oh yeah the First Aid call was fun since nothing happened. All we did was just play manhunt in the building and hang out there. Yesterday I hung out with Linh. Nick and Sam passed by for a little bit, and then Ricky showed up. For the 2 hours I was there I was bit by mosquitoes 17 times.. it sux ass. Thank God for ice packs. Either way I had a good time I'd still go back there if the opportunity ever came. I just woke up so I'm gonna go looking for food.

Bye Bye


August 19, 2002 -- 11:21 PM

Midtown - Like A Movie

Same old stuff going on. So that means everything is fine around here - at least with me :P

I downloaded the multiplayer demo of Battlefield 1942 and I'll probably be spending the next hour or two playing it.. even though my computer is a beat weak to play it to the max :\ go download it if you can. Neverwinter Nights has been out for a while now but I haven't checked it out yet - I heard it's a fantastic game. If only I had the money to get it.. oh well

Tomorrow I'll be on First Aid call from 8 pm to midnight. I'm a rookie and that'll be my first time up so hopefully all goes well as the squad breaks me in. I should bring some cash there so I could get food while I'm there. It's pretty fun hanging out there with everybody.

Tonight was pretty funny me and Linh were making up scenarious that included us, Avril Lavigne, a male prostitute, the three chicks from Blue Crush.. *drool*.., a genie, cosmic voices from heaven, and God. LoL yeah things can get pretty goofy with me n her but hey she's my buddy. <3 Rock on Linh


August 18, 2002 -- 2:24 AM

Midtown - Let Go

Today I went to my sister's place which is about an hour away from where I live. I forgot the name of the town lol - so at least I got to listen to my CD's along the way. My family was there for a bbq and the charcoal we had for the grill was the cheap stuff and took almost one big bottle of lighter fluid just to get all of it ready for cooking.. bastard ghetto charchoal. I also got to check out her husband's $20,000(well that's my guess) recording system which I was just mesmorized by. Pretty cool and relaxing day - the food was great

Lately I've been thinking about a few people more than I usually do, and perhaps more than I should, and my situation with them. One of them in particular has gotten me to become a little bit jealous and insecure about myself. This isn't good, so I'll work on it. Good moods = better

Good Night


August 17, 2002 -- 4:08 AM

Green Day - Panic Song

Today I worked.. and usually any day I work i'm not in my normal good mood for at least a few hours.. i just hate it that much. Weird stuff was going through my mind most of today. Like maybe i'm cursed that I have such bud luck with chicks.. lol nothing serious its just a theory. It's not like I don't have any fun single but it does get me wondering. Oh well - like i usually say to shit like that - I'm working on it. heh
It's 4:21 AM and I'm at my computer typing stuff like a few nights ago. Why? Because I couldn't sleep like a few nights ago. I don't know why but I just couldn't fall asleep. Oh and on another note Linh didn't get scared off lol she still talks to me but I think it'd be smart for me to back off.. well maybe just a little ;D . <3 confusing grls

Good Night

Oh yeah I killed the bat that was terrorizing my house! I'll tell more about it some other time.


August 16, 2002 -- 12:01 AM

Jimmy Eat World - A Sunday

There's a damn bat in my house! It's pretty small but it's annoying everyone around here. Today I went to the First Aid meeting - I'm a cadet - and hung out at the building until about an hour ago. It's actually pretty fun bein there cuz my friends are always there so there's always something cool to do. I got "oriented" with the rig(ambulance) because since I'm 16 I go on calls when I'm assigned - that's when you go with the EMT's on emergencies. Then we just stuck around the building. Kaitlin and Beth had a box of brownies so a handful of us decided to stay to have some lol. A few minutes after it was put in the oven the two went on call and the brownies finished while they were still out so there wasn't much left for them. They were pretty good tho.. lol

Now I'm just here relaxing. It was a pretty cool day =)

[3:10 AM] Well hey now it turns out Brit didn't block me - Jim's computer was broken so if she reads this: Have fun down in Tomsriver and try not into get into too much trouble ;D


August 15, 2002 -- 4:08 AM

Green Day - Desensitized

How's everyone doin tonight lol
You ever have those times when you think about something you wanted and you know that the only one responsible for it not happening is you? Thats sorta whats on my mind right now. I havent updated this site in almost a year and lately I haven't had that many ppl to talk about what's been going on with me. I guess I'll start off by summing up my whole summer. I sorta had a moment and then a 'fling' with this girl from school - my best friend's little sister. They're moving away to Tomsriver soon so I probably won't see them again. Oh man she took advantage of me and I never knew what hit me cuz I was totally swept off my feet - I mean how often do I get to cuddle with someone really cute during a fireworks show and actually have them like me back? Never - that was the first time it ever happened. But anyway as most ppl told me she was one step ahead of me and ditched me and stopped talking to me.. lol wow but hey she was fun tho so cheers to Brit - oh and the ironic thing is she's bi - haha! Then I guess near the end of July I finally gave into my urge of attempting to learn guitar and I've been practicing ever since. My dad's acoustic guitar isnt so bad after all. But I want a good electric guitar and amp - like a Fender Stratocaster or a Gibson Les Paul with a Mesa Boogie amplifier. That would be totally sweet. Well anyway I found my friend Linh's sn and started talking to her. Linh - cute punk chick that everyone knows is bi or lesbian.. not really sure about which one. Let me tell you how fun it could be to be good friends with a grl that isn't straight. One night we stayed up till like 4 am talking endlessly about the hottest girls on the planet - trading a bunch of a pictures on AIM and crap lol.. avril lavigne and those chicks from Blue Crush *drool*. :D So back to the story well yeah she is cute so I did happen to be hitting on her quite a bit. LoL i think it sorta scared her cuz she hasn't been talking to me that much lately. Oh well.. its fun :P. see for those of you who have known me personally for more than a year you'd expect that I wouldn't be able to let go of feelings and such very easily.. in fact i was a total sap and really pathetic. Anyway I've learned SO MUCH since then and all I worry about is the fun I have the importance of moving and letting go. Anyway I guess that brings to one person that's on my mind right now cuz I'm talking to her and she's the one that sorta got me into restarting my web page as like a journal - Nicole.. man - she sure is something. See back when I was that pathetic little sappy person that I was talking about I broke off a lot of good friendships for the stupidest dramatic reasons you could think of but somehow she was one of the few friendships that was maintained. And now that I've learned to accept life and most things about it as is it's been a smooth ride ever since. I'd rather not go deeper into that issue cuz the last thing I'd need is for her to be scared away - trust me I know --> dramaticness can scare the opposite sex away lol. What can I say? She's just that important to me. I mean half of why i'm in the 'blame myself' mood tonight is because I rarely hang out with her.. u know? But i gotta face that like it is cuz bitching and whining never does anything productive. My only option is to just wait things out and suck it up until I can get more freedom and hopefully can start driving really soon - so thats what i'll have to do.

Hehe I wonder if she's reading this - if she is.. *arms around her waist and looks at her eyes* :D *pulls out a coin* Call it, babe ;D

Well that put me in a better mood so I'll practice a little guitar - Cya later!






-Josh
josh@orendain.net