The Hello Grimoire!

A Complete Game Routine!

The Legend Of The Grimoire

The Hello Grimoire is a legendary ancient magical tome, large and heavy with a leatherbound exterior and metal clasps. It is like every grimoire you have every encountered, and yet radically different. In many ways it's far scarier than the typical magical tome, for while they are merely black or grey and adorned with runes, symbols, and magical wards, the Hello Grimoire is bound in soft pink leather and embossed with a cute kitten!
Suffice it to say, this artifact is one of the most powerful and frightening arcane devices known to man. Often referred to as the Coral Kitty Codex, it is rumored to contain all magical knowledge of a cute and cuddly nature. Every power of love spell, every invocation to cuteness, and every path to magical girlhood are contained within it's pages, and new ones are magically written inside even as they are created elsewhere. Is Glinda the Good working on a new spell to make fluffy bunnies even fluffier? The Hello Grimoire knows all about it!
Most experts in the arcane will say that the Hello Grimoire is only a myth or anecdote, if they choose to speak of it at all. Many will become enraged that you should even mention this effrontery to decent dark magic in their presence. Spellcasters from both the dark and light paths will have this negative reaction, for the Grimoire is neither white nor black magic, neither evil nor good magic, but something far more terrifying -- it is cute magic, pink magic, perhaps the most terrifying form of magic known to man.

The Order Of The Coral Kitty Codex

The Hello Grimoire is no myth -- the members of the Order of the Coral Kitty Codex (official spelling: "Koral Kitty Kodex") know better. Known affectionately as the KKK, these servants of the Grimoire are all powerful magicians who have pursued the art of cute magic their entire lives, and are dedicated to protecting the Hello Grimoire and spreading and perpetuating the magic within. Each member of the order will appear as a cute, childlike human (preferrably 14 or younger) or a cute fluffy animal. They will have the symbol of their order -- the cute kitten -- displayed prominently somewhere on their outfit. Many of them have the ability to transform into a magical girl at will (which they will do frequently). It's important to note that many of them are already cute girls with magical powers before they transform, but it's the transformation itself that is of primary importance here. The magical girl transformation is one of the most holy of the order's sacrements. In fact, many members transform into a whole series of magical girls in succession!
A living soul resides within the Hello Grimoire. Said to be the essense of the original author herself, this spirit has nevertheless abandoned all human passions save one, her overriding quest: to collect all cute
things throughout the world and make them her own. (Imagine Azuza Shitori of Ranma 1/2's Skating Pair in book form). Of special concern to the spirit of the grimoire is Hello Kitty and other Sanrio merchandise. There is a lot of Sanrio merchandise in the world, so the Grimoire runs countless money-making schemes in order to purchase the objects of it's desire.

Magic-Users For Serious Spellcasting

Members of the secret order of MUFSS (commonly called Muffs despite their violent objections) are both white wizards and dark mages, witches of the black arts and no-nonsense white witches. They have little in common, save for their serious outlook on life and their hatred of cute or fluffy magic. Their only goal is the eratication of cute magic from the face of the earth, and their number one target is -- you guessed it! -- the Hello Grimoire.

The Hello Grimoire Instant Routine!

One of your players comes into posession of the Hello Grimoire. How this is accomplished is up to you, but four possibilities are: A) A relative who is into magic (great aunt, godmother, weird uncle Rueben) passes it on (they don't have to die -- in a TFOS campaign nobody dies anyway -- perhaps, in order to transcended mere cuteness, they want to live as a bunny rabbit). B) An ugly stranger (possibly a thief or a member of the Muffs) who is being chased by cute members of the Order of the Coral Kitty Codex, gives the book to you, with plans to return for it later C) The book is placed into your trust by a cute stranger who is a member of the Order of the Coral Kitty Codex and is being chased by a group of Muffs -- serious white magicians and nasty black magicians, who are united by their extreme distaste of cute magic. D) You find it lying around somewhere (basement, attic, your locker).
However it happens, possession of the book is an open invitation to mayhem, which is of course the basis for any good TFOS campaign. The players may accidentally set off a few cuteness spells while exploring the book. The book itself may cast spells on those players whom it deems are not cute enough. The book may hypnotize one of the players into tracking down Sanrio merchandise and purchasing it with what little lunch money they happen to have. Meanwhile, there are dozens of powerful witches and wizards whose goal it is to get rid of all non-serious magic in the world, and first and foremost on their hit list is the Hello Grimoire. And, of course, you have the members of the Order of the Coral Kitty Codex trying to save it from that very same fate.
Your players, of course, are caught in the middle of it all.

Coming Up With An Ending

Mayhem is all well and good, but there ought to be a resolution to this whole mess. If one doesn't present itself (your players might just toss the book over a cliff, bringing their own involvement in the affair to an end), then here is what you do.
The Muffs and the KKK have come to blows many times before, and they always resolve the current conflict with a staged challenge. One party picks the location, the other picks the duel. The Muffs favor as a location things like the ninth plane of hell or a large chess board in a remote wilderness location. The KKK prefer a grassy field with a picnic basket and refreshments, or an oversized romper room, or an amusement park... you get the idea. The Muffs prefer mortal combat over any other form of duel, while the KKK are partial to marbles, jacks, guessing games, and especially the board game candyland! (Perhaps you can think of an even CUTER board game? It doesn't have to be real of course.) Equally good is a judged contest of who can make the neatest leap into a pile of raked leaves! Or perhaps it's a contest to see who can sell the most lemonade in an hour? Whatever it is, remember that the Muffs won't be pleased! ("Gawd, I hate these stupid games they keep coming up with! Last time it was an easter egg hunt, and the time before that it was hide and seek! Arrrgh!")
The two parties must pick champions to represent them! This is where your players come in!!! Bear in mind that the Champion of the Muffs must be dressed in serious accouterment, perhaps even full battle armour. This might hinder him/her in a jump-into-the-leaf-pile competition, for example. Meanwhile, the Champion of the KKK will invariably have on an outfit with a short skirt in a bright pastel color and lots of ribbons and bows!
After the contest a member of the winning group disappears with the grimoire, while the rest attend a mandatory ice cream social! The players are invited too, of course. Members of the Muffs and the KKK mingle together and talk tools of the trade. When all is said and done they are all at their core magic-users. Imagine a conversation between pc users... the merits of MacIntosh vs. PC, or Netscape vs. Internet Explorer. Even people who hate each other's modes of operating can get together and discuss other aspects of the trade.
And what of the Hello Grimoire? It's alive, of course, so by definition in a TFOS campaign it can't really be destroyed. Should the Muffs emerge victorious, the KKK will be upset but they will all realize that this just means they have to track it down and rescue it later. And it all begins again...

So write me already!

© 1998 Akane89@yahoo.com
Akane images and character copyright © 1998 Rumiko Takahashi. Other characters also copyrighted, naturally.

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