Instant Routine: Mo Dean!

A Ready-To-Use TFOS Game Aid

Here it is! My first online TFOS campaign resource! I hope to put up some more “instant routines” in the next few weeks, and I’m working on my campaign setting and the people who teach there and keep the school running. But for now, I felt as if I had to get something up to justify having the page at all! Enjoy!

Mo Dean

Type/Species: N V Near Human (pointed ears, antennae, blue skin)
Age:> Unknown, but looks in his late 40’s
Hair Color: Silver
Eyes: Yellow
Sex: Definately Male
Height: 5 foot 6 inches
Weight: 250 lbs. or so
Occupation: Hey, I’ve got my hand in everything, baby (Party animal, mostly)

Smarts: Not really (2)
Bod: Old Elvis, only fatter (2)
RWA: Schmoozy (5)
Luck: He’s still partying! (5)
Driving: James Dean (3)
Looks: Car salesman (2)
Cool: His middle name (6)
Bonk: Too Dense to bonk (4)

Powers: Talk to aliens, Telephone

Knacks: Schmooze +4, Dance like a funky fool +3, Always have cash +1, Amazing contacts +3

Traits: Cannot resist women, always partying

Mo Dean is an intergalactic funky dacing love machine. He looks like an overweight, balding, 40-something disco fool, and he dresses like a reject from an Elvis Impersonator convention.
Mo talks and acts like an oily car salesman, always familiar and friendly without ever being close. He always remembers your name. “Hey, Kev baby, how’s my number one fan? You ready to party with Mo Dean? I love you, man, I really do. Hey, I think this is a really fabulous party, you know what I mean? I think you do! Thank you very much, it’s always great seeing you man, but if you’ll ‘scuse me, I gotta mingle.”
Mo Dean is at every party, shaking his funky thang and schmoozing with the guests. He always has a drink in his hand but is never seen drinking it. All he is ever seems to do is schmooze, either with the crowd around him or with his many contacts on the “phone” (see power).
Mo does not actually teleport, but his ability to show up in any crowd makes it seem like he does.

The Mo Dean Routine

Main Theme Music: Is That You Mo Dean? (B52’s) Other Music: Cosmic Thing (B52’s) Anything else by the B52’s, or goofy disco music like Shake Your Groove Thang (Peaches ‘n’ Herb), Disco Duck (Rick Dees) or anything by Parliment/Funkadelic.
Mo Dean can show up in any situation. If there’s a large group of people then he’s there, drink in hand, schmoozing with the crowd. If the players are meeting with someone important (King of a distant realm, head of NBC, the vice principal) then Mo is just on his way out. It’s never quite clear what Mo does exactly, besides dancing and partying, but he seems to know everyone in the universe, and he’s always got some big deal going (the details of which he’s vague on).
Mo is good for a short comedy routine. Use him no more than once or twice an adventure. He shouldn’t hang around long, although (at the gamemaster’s discretion) he might invite the players onto his ship to party. If this happens, there’s no telling where they’ll end up!

Mo’s Flying Saucer (The Amazing Party Machine!)

Mo travels the galaxy in his funky mirrored disco- ball saucer, which really does look like a disco ball from the outside. The ship is about 9’ diameter on the outside (small) with a door the side. The door looks like a back door to a house; it’s made of metal but painted to look like wood, and has a cheap aluminum screen door attached. There’s a mailbox attached to the side and a doorbell.
The inside of Mo’s ship is much bigger than the outside. Players will be greeted by a butler (Shon) and led into a large three-story entrance with a wide, red- carpeted, curving staircase. big doors leading off to a dining hall, a study/library, and a comfortable sitting room with a crackling fire in the fireplace. In short, the place is laid out like a large mansion.
The largest room in Mo’s spaceship is the ballroom, where loud, thumping music, lazer shows, and spinning disco balls prevail. There is always a huge party going on, with a large crowd of aliens talking and drinking and dancing the night away. The party never stops at Mo’s place!
Mo’s saucer has an added function: it can be shrunk down to the size of a ping-pong ball and hung on a chain around his neck. Whenever he is not travelling in it, it is usually travelling on him. As far as anyone can tell this does not affect the people partying inside, although it might be a bit of a problem if you try to exit the ship while it is hanging around Mo’s neck. As for the partiers, they never leave.

Shon:

Chauffer, Butler, Bodyguard, and Bouncer

Type/Species: Real Wierdie (Four arms, one eye, horns)

Age:> Young but mature, late 20’s/early 30’s
Hair Color: short, black
Eyes: One, grey-blue
Sex: Male
Height: 6 foot 2 inches
Weight: 220 lbs. or so
Occupation: Butler, bodyguard, chauffer, bouncer

Smarts: Watson, perhaps, but no Holmes (4)
RWA: Such a nice man! (5)
Driving: Impeccable (6)
Bod: A match for the Terminator (6)
Luck: Very (5)
Looks: You can’t have everything (3)
Cool: Never ruffled (6)
Bonk: Not your average Joe (5)

Powers: Temporal Funk, Nobody Home (aka “SEP Field”), Three’s A Crowd

Knacks: Always have whatever you need +4, Icy cool +5, Toss people around in a friendly, professional, and dignified manner +3, Cook Really Well +3, Mix Drinks +7

Traits: Jeeves Complex, Subservient in a Superior Way

Shon greets you at the door. Shon offers to take your coat. Shon directs you to Mo or to the party. Shon offers to get you a drink. Shon is everywhere, doing everything, in the mansion that is Mo’s ship.
Shon does not have the ability to read minds, although many would swear otherwise. He is the perfect embodiment of a butler/bodyguard -- Jeeves in the body of Hulk Hogan. He is always there with your drink before you order it, with your coat before you look for it, and with his four arms around you before you manage to throw the first punch. Clearly he uses his powers of Temporal Funk, Nobody Home, and Three’s A Crowd to always appear right when you need him, but human butlers have been doing these things for years without such powers. What Shon does that no human buter can do is, in essense, everything. He is Mo Dean’s personal Chauffer, Bodyguard, Valet, Chef, Butler and Bouncer, and practically the entire staff of the ship. The only other staff in Mo’s ship are two maid bots and Werdlo Haro, the DJ. That means that usually Shon’s the ship’s Captain as well.
Shon will show anyone who becomes disruptive the door. This could be a problem if the ship is not on your homeworld at the time you exit it.

Maid Bot

Type/Species: Humanoid Robot

Age: Latest model
Hair Color: Molded steel
Eyes: Flat black
Sex: Female
Height: 5 foot 2 inches
Build/Weight: Slender/350 lbs. (they’re robots!)
Occupation: Cleaning maid

Smarts: Dense (1)
Bod: Strong (5)
RWA: Cannot hold a conversation (1)
Luck: Below Average (2)
Driving: Basic Driving Program (3)
Looks: Beautiful! (6)
Cool: Robots don’t sweat (4)
Bonk: Not easily stopped (5)

Powers: None

Knacks: Clean room +3

Traits: Efficient, Friendly, Non judgemental

DJ Werdlo “Wocca Wocca” Haro

Type/Species: N V Near Human (looks like a combo werewolf/bear)

Age: 25
Hair Color: brown hair and fur
Eyes: brown
Sex: male
Height: 6 foot
Weight: 190 lbs.
Occupation: Disc Jockey/Mixmaster, occasional lame rapper/master of ceremonies

Smarts: Lost to drugs (3)
Bod: Plump (3)
RWA: Well-liked from a distance (3)
Luck: Average (3)
Driving: Never (-1)
Looks: Teddy-bear huggable (4)
Cool: None whatsoever (1)
Bonk: Resistant to Wind (1)

Powers: Swap shop

Knacks: Play that funky music +4, Dance like a funky chicken +3, Mumble unitelligibly into the mic +2

Traits: Hip, friendly, stoned even when he’s not stoned

“Wocca Wocca” Haro is something like a big talking bear who is also a Grateful Dead fan -- ie someone who never noticed when the sixties were over. He is perpetually drugged out of his mind and therefore not much of a conversationalist. His main job is to play the music and/or Emcee over whatever the current party event is.

Partying Aliens

You can meet just about anyone at one of Mo’s parties. Elvis Presley? Marvin the Martian? Timothy Leary? Hitler from an alternate dimension where he’s a conceptual artist? Lum? Dennis Rodman? Alf? Zaphod Beeblebrox? Ronald Reagan? Your Math Teacher? Who you meet is really up to the imagination of the Gamemaster. Most of the crowd are between 18 and 45 years old and dressed to party like it’s 1999...

Joining the Party!

Mo might invite the players ijnto his ship for his latest party. Joining one of Mo’s parties is an adventure in itself. For one thing, your players have no idea where the ship is travelling to while they’re inside it. For another, Mo’s parties often have themes that are mandatory, and are not necessarily what a human might expect. If your players choose to enter Mo’s spaceship, consult the following charts, because some parties have themes, and some things you might do there you may regret:

Type of Party:

Roll 1d6

1 Dancing
2 Inline Skating
3 Ice Cream Social
4 Tea Party
5 Pool/Swimming
6 Concert

Disco Dancing: Almost every party involves dancing, but this indicates exclusively dancing. Usually this means disco or rave dancing, but could also mean moshi/slam dancing, ballroom dancing, square dancing, or a thousand variants from history and the Gamemaster’s sick, twisted imagination. Players, upon entering the ball room, will always find themselves attired in whatever Mo considers appropriate for the circumstances.
Inline Skating: Participants are given skates at the door.
Ice Cream Social: Indicates a subdued, relaxed affair with deserts.
Tea Party: A very formal and low-key affair with tea and cookies/crackers/buscuits, and perhaps poetry reading.
Pool Party: Participants will find themselves in swimwear upon stepping into the pool area.
Concert: This could be a music group, comedy show, or theater. Participants must sit and watch (or mosh, if the music’s appropriate).

Special Theme:

Roll 2d6

3 No special Theme
4 Come As You Aren’t
5 Opposite Night
6 Swap Meet
7 Puppet Party
8 Virtual Event
9 Game Night
10 Karaoke Night
11 Ultrabowl Party
12 Costume Ball
13 Pajama Party/Sleepover
14 Zoo Trip
15 Miss Universe Pageant
16 Sock Hop
17 Road Trip With Tour
18 Birthday Party

No Special Theme: Hopefully this is self explanatory.
Come As You Aren’t: Upon entering the room, players will be given a new, random personae, something very different from their normal self. Their whole body and all their clothing is transformed, and they may assume a new gender, race, age or species.
Opposite Night: All players become the opposite sex upon entering the room. It wears off after a good night’s sleep.
Swap Meet: This works like Swap Shop, but on a roomwide level and in random fashion. Players entering the room will automatically find themselves in a new body.
Puppet Party: Players are teleported to a room with a bed, and are hooked up by wires to a remote puppet. They attend the party virually, by controlling the body of their puppet self. Needless to say, this lends itself to violent forms of partying, since you can’t actually hurt anyone by dismembering their puppet.
Virtual Event: Players are teleported to a room with a bed and are hooked up electronically to a VR net. They are given a random persona (possibly from an animated movie or video game) and turned loose on the computer network for the evening. The computer VR setting will be more elaborate than just a virtual dance hall... say, a tropical island (one of Mo’s favorites) or something similar.
Game Night: This can refer to simple things like card games or bingo with unusual prizes, to role-playing games or things like chess on a human-sized chessboard with human pawns (the partygoers).
Karaoke Night: Yes, we know, it’s a frightening possibility. One fun way to play this might be to offer some neat gadget as a Karaoke contest prize and force each of your players to actually sing to see who wins the contest.
Ultrabowl Party/Scavenger Hunt: An Ultrabowl party is something like a superbowl party, but you choose the alien sport (rollerball? grav-ball? hyperdimensional tacklecheckers?). A scavenger hunt is more self-explanatory, although what they players are looking for might be very unusual.
Costume Ball: Players, upon entering the Ballroom, will be given an automatic costume which cannot be removed until the stroke of midnight. This is not just a clothing change, either, but an actual complete body change. This is similar to a “Come As You Aren’t” party, but the choices for who the players/partygoers become should be appropriate to a costume ball. Players might physically become Madonna or Elvis, Napoleon or Cleopatra, or something more interesting like Felix the cat, Minnie Mouse, or Casper the friendly ghost.
Pajama Party/Sleepover: Players find themselves in pajamas or nighties, with pillows and sleeping bags. Popcorn, movies, boomboxes and horror stories are in store.
Zoo Trip: All participants are given the bodies of animals, and can morph to a humanoid version at will. Thist lasts until the stroke of midnight, of course.
Miss Universe Pageant: The players will find themselves becoming the contestants in this beauty contest. The judges are Mo, Haro, and Shon. Everyone else is (at least temporarily) a beautiful young female from some part of the galaxy.
Sock Hop: All players become teenagers at a fifties-style sock hop.
Road Trip With Tour: Players are cast as a giant family on a road trip through the galaxy.
Birthday Party: Players find themselves in the bodies of six-year-olds (their own/current bodies though) at a typical child’s birthday party. One of the players may be chosen as the lucky birthday boy/girl, and party proceeds with cake, gifts, spin-the-donkey and twister games, etc.

Changing Party Themes

The Emcee (Werdlo Haro) may, at any time (and at the whim of the Gamemaster) decree a change in Type of Party and Party Theme. Of course, many themes (such as the Costume Ball) will go until midnight, but others may be changed if the Emcee deems it time, or if he becomes bored. Please note that, due to the wonderful technology of the ship, all changes will take place immediately. Therefore, if your players are having a Tea Party with a Karaoke Them, and the rules are suddenly switched to Pool Party with a Swap Meet theme, the room will suddenly transform into a pool room, and they will find themselves not only in a swim suit, but in somebody else’s body.

A Note On Mo’s Transformations

Obviously, Mo’s dance hall/party ballroom has some special super-science alien technology that no human could hope to understand. The actual gismo that accomplishes all of the changes is located in the giant disco ball hung from the ceiling 30 feet overhead, but the control panel is part of Werdlo Haro’s mix board. No human could hope to understand the controls without a lot of studying, but they might be able to play with them, causing all kinds of havok on the dance floor. Likewise, if the disco ball is damaged, the partygoers will be affected randomly.
Partygoers are only transformed when inside the dance hall. When they step inside, they will automatically be transformed by the disco ball to conform to the current setting. After transformation, the player can wander out of the hall, around the mansion, out of the ship, and go absolutely anywhere, and the transformation will hold. The transformed player will only revert to their original self after a long sleep, or by partying to the stroke of midnight, upon which anyone on the dance floor assumes their normal form. Partygoers outside the dancehall when midnight strikes will not revert to their original form until after a long sleep. However, sleep will not revert clothing or other inanimate objects. If the player does not revert by waiting in the dance hall until midnight, then their clothes and other personal effects will not change back, ever. This could be a problem if the player is changed from a muscular blond male in a suit into a slender female brunette in a red disco dress; in the morning he will be his usual muscular male self, but his suit will still be a small red dress, and perhaps more horrifying, any identification he was carrying on his person will be for a slender female brunette, perhaps with a feminized version of his name, appropriate age, and the like.
When the rules or theme of the party is changed, the new changes will only affect those partygoers currently inside the dancehall. Partygoers outside the dancehall will become affected when they enter the dancehall, as if they were entering it for the first time.

A Note On Drinks

Drinks inside the dance hall are served by one of the maid bots especially designed for mixing drinks and providing banal chatter. Along with a wide variety of earth drinks, the bar has many alien and otherworldly drinks. For example, there’s hormocola, a cola-like drink that comes in a can decorated with the symbols for male and female. Drinking it causes one to change gender for 1-6 hours.
Other drinks include the Galactic Hammberbox, a drink that will almost instantly lead to blackouts, erratic behavior, and hallucinations. If you like, you can take control of the player’s character and describe for the other players all of the wild and crazy things that character is doing. Then, at some point, the player’s character manages to disappear into the crowd. Later you can have the player awake in a strange place with no memory of what has occured. Be creative. They wake up without their clothes, in jail, a park, or in somebody else’s apartment, in somebody else’s bed, perhaps with someone else, wearing nothing or perhaps wearing a dress that isn’t theirs (much funnier if they’re male), or perhaps they wake up wearing not only a dress that isn’t theirs, but a body that isn’t theirs. There are a lot of possibilities. Perhaps finding their own body again will be the goal of the next adventure!

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