Clyde:  Ok class, today we're gonna learn about throwing stars.

Yuffie:  Boooring, I already know this stuff.

Clyde:  Ok then Miss Yuffie, why don't you show us then?

Yuffie:  OK!  First, you grab the star with you palm going into the sharpest part, OUCH!  I mean.... uh, then, you throw like you would throw a baseball (Throws it and bounces off the wall at her)  EEEK!

Clyde:.....  uh, no Yuffie.  Take your seat!

(Meanwhile, at Vector)

Wicked:  I want that operation shut down!  Without any kids going to OUR school,  I have no excuse as to tax people really really high!

Vegie:  Then I don't get paid as much!  Leo, Shut it down!

Leo:  I went over there, but there were only a couple of elderly Amish folk.

Celes:  Amish folk?  In a high-tek facility that makes the Vectorian Complex look like an ant hill?!  I don't think so!

Leo:  Well.... i guess you're right, but by now, they have millions of kids working for them.

Kefka:  Them who?

Leo:  Clyde, Strago, and Relm.

Kefka:  What ever happened to their dog?

Wicked:  i dunno, maybe they ate it!  I don't care!  Just get that school shut down!

Celes:  I have an idea.

(Later)

Clyde:  Ah, this is going so well, doncha think?

Strago:  Yeah, but the kids are complaining that you teach too hard, and yell at them a lot.

Clyde:  of course I yell at them!  What do you think?!  They should at least know the basics when they come to me!

Relm:  Why?  We all went to a goody school.

Clyde:  Well, then I guess we'll just need some more teachers, huh?

(Extra Extra: Ninja school looking for teachers!  Plenty of experience required)

*Ding dong*

Strago:  Hello?

Teenagers:  Yeah, we're here for the job.

Clyde:  But you're kids!  Lemme see you guys in action.

Girl Teen:  Sure thing.

(Later, on the field)

Clyde: *huff puff wheez*  you guys pack quite a whallop.

Teenagers unconscious on floor:  ACK!

Relm:  DAD!  You're an expert!  they can't defeat you!

Clyde:  Oh well, you guys get the jobs.  What're your names?

Smallest, and youngest teen:  My name's Mike.  I'm 11.

Middle, punk teen:  Yo, Larry here, buoy.  I'm 14, and lovin' every second of it.

Mature, young lady:  Hello sir, my name's Judy, and I'm 18 years old.

Relm:  Dad!  You can't give these guys a job!  One of them is only my age!  It'll feel awkward!

Clyde:  Hush Relm, I'm thinking.....  We need a teacher that's almost my experience, but not quite yet.....

Yuffie:  TEACH!  TEACH!! WHAT ABOUT ME?

Clyde:  Uh, no Yuffie.  But you CAN help me out on this one.  I was thinking more along the lines of.....

(Meanwhile in Vector)

Wicked:  Hey Celes,  Who's this punk?

Celes:  Oh, Gestahl told me he used to be Clyde's friend.  They used to be train robbers, but then he got injured, and Clyde had to run.

Wicked:  Ouch, what'd they do to him?  He's got an eye patch!

Celes:  They only whipped him a couple of times.  He's always had that eye patch.

Leo:  He's been here ever since.

Baram:  Let me go!  I've served my time!  And more!

Kefka:  Eeeeeheeheeheehee!!  Hey Baaaaram, wannna see something in the news? (shows the chained up Baram the front cover)

Baram:  Clyde Arowny make Ninja school of Assassination.  Clyde....

Yuffie In shadows:  I'll show the teach how good a job i can do!

Celes:  Hi Yuffie.

Yuffie:  Oh, hi Celes.... DOH!

Celes:  What're you doing in the shadows?

Yuffie:  Oh...nothing.... (walks up to Leo)

Leo (With Big eyes):  YUFFIE?!  Why are your hands in my pocket?!

Yuffie:  Um..... they... aren't? (Grabs keys, unlocks Baram, and blows a huge hole into the wall with a bazooka)  Run for it, Baram!

Celes:  Yuffie, you know you can't escape.

Kefka:  Go, my IAF!  Go and kill!

Leo:  There's no need for that.  Soldiers, apprehend the fugitive.

Yuffie:  Over my dead body! (Throws a couple stars at the millions of soldiers clustered together, and never hits one of them)  Uh oh.

Baram:  Give me those!  (Grabs stars and throws three)

Soldiers:  Ouch!  Ah!  Eek!  Help!  (Stars bounce back and forth between their helmets)

Kefka:  NOW!  IAF!  KILL THEM!

IAF:  Terror from above!

Baram:  Oh shoot!  Run for it!

Celes:  Yuffie, come here.

Yuffie:  Ok.  (Walks over to Celes).  Hi Celes, what's up?

(Baram escapes to Clyde's school)

Celes:  Great, now look what you did, Yuffie.  We'll have to go to plan B.

Wicked:  Not until I behead her first!

Celes:  No!  She's under MY protection.

Wicked: *grumble grumble*  What's plan B?

(Meanwhile, at Clyde's school)
 

Clyde:  Class, I want you to meet your new teachers.  This is Mike, he'll be teaching the beginner classes.  This is Larry, he'll be teaching the advanced begginer classes.  This is Judy, she'll be teaching the intermediate classes.  And this is my great friend Baram, he'll be teaching the Advanced classes.  And I, myself, will be teaching the master classes.

Baram:  Good friend, indeed.  You never wrote, and you didn't kill me off!

Clyde:  That's cause I'm your friend. (Smiles).

Baram:.......

Judy: It's a great honor to teach next to a great ninja, such as yourself, Mr. Arowny.

Larry:  Suuuuuuck up!

Mike:  I have to agwee with Lawy, you are bewing a bit ov a shuck up.

Larry:  Say wha?  Darn little kids.  Nice boy, but doesn't listen to a word I say.

Clyde:  Now if you all will excuse me, I have to feed my dog.

Interceptor:  (Finally!  I haven't eaten in ages! ONE lousy cracker!  Who does he think he is?!) Aroooo!
 
Clyde:  Aw, that's a good boy. Now eat your cracker, then later on, we'll have dinner.

Interceptor:  (I'll make my dinner you!) Bark Bark!

Relm:  Awwww, that's soooo cute.  Goochy goochy goo.

Interceptor: (I hate it when they talk baby talk to me.  Oh well, if I play along with it, maybe they'll give me some extra food)  *Sits up and begs*

Celes: Wicked, I give you, PLAN B!

Mob of women:  We have to get our kids back!  Yeah!  Uh huh!  Kill Clyde!

Wicked: THIS is your plan?

Celes:  Trust me.....

(Later on)

*Ding dong*

Clyde:  That had better not be the cops again.  (Looks through peep hole)

Mob of angry women:  Let us in, you swine!  We'll kill you!

Clyde:  Haha!  You Women don't scare me!  I have a whole army of ninjas! Attack, my ninjas!  Test out your skill, by killing these worthless Vectorians!

Ninja students:  But....but.... their our moms!  We can't hurt our moms!  (They exit) Mommy!  How I've missed you!  Mom!  How are you?  How's Bill?

Clyde:  I assure you ma'ams, that these children are recieving the top-notch education that this planet can afford.

Wicked (Whispering to Vegie):  Is that true?

Vegie:  I dunno.  I've never really paid attention to our schools.

Baram:  What's going on here?  Eek!  Women, and lots of them!  I haven't seen a woman in ages!

Celes:  HEY!  I'll kill him for that insult!

Strago:  Uh, Clyde, perhaps we should move our school of Ninjary to somewhere else.

Clyde:  But this is as far from Vector as we can get, without getting our own planet!

Relm:  Oh, could we dad?  My birthdays coming up, and I would really like my own planet.

Strago:  Your birthdays coming up?  I mean.... Of course it is.  Clyde, you can't disapoint her now!

Clyde:  Oh, very well.

Mike:  Wow, so you'll be 12 soon?

Relm:  No, I was just making that up.

Larry:  Women, go fig.

(Judy slaps him up-side the head)

Clyde:  YAAAAWN!  Rise and shine Strago and Baram.  We have a loooong day ahead of us.

Baram:  Oh?  Well what are we going to do today, Clyde?

Clyde:  The same thing we do every night, Baram.  Try to take over Vector!

Strago:  Their Clyde, and Baram.  Yes Clyde and Baram.  One is a nimrod, the other likes Spam.

Baram:  Yummy!

Strago:  Their assassins on the run, they don't have any fun.  Their Clyde, their Clyde and Baram, Baram, Baram, Baram, Baram.

Clyde:  Oh shut up, old man!  We have to get a spaceship, and MAKE our own planet.

Strago:  "MAKE?!"  How are we going to make a planet?

Clyde:  Simple, we just borrow some land from other planets.

Baram:  Yeah, so simple.......

(Later on)

Clyde:  Suck, suck, suck! (Spaceship sucks up some land from different planets)

Strago:  *GASP*  NOT IN FRONT OF RELM, CLYDE!

Clyde:  That's not what I meant, old man!

Relm:  What's not what you meant?  What's going on?

Baram:  Quite simple really, they don't want you to have any candy before dinner.

Clyde:  Yep.

Relm:  Is it finished yet?

Strago:  I think so.....

(Spaceship poops out a huge clump of dirt, as big as a planet)

Baram:  Where'd we get the ship?

Clyde:  Don't ask...

(Meanwhile)

Cid:  CELES?  Have you seen my prototype for the Cid Food Sucking Spaceship?

Celes:  No Cid, where'd you last put it?

Cid:  I can't remember... I think I ate it.

Celes: The only reason I'm not rich like Wicked is, is because I have to pay the food bill!