HUMOUR II - THINGS I LEARNED FROM MY KIDS
1. A King Size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades they can ignite.
3. A 3 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a croweded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor isn't strong enough to support a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
4a. It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
5a. However when using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up 3 times before you get a hit.
5b. A ceiling fan can hit a ball a long way.
5c. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
6. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already too late.
7. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, lots of it.
8. A six-year-old can start a file with a flint and rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in movies.
9. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
9a. The fire department in Austin has a 5-minute response time.
10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year old.
11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
12. Super Glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put into a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show that they do.
15. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
16. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise while driving.
17. Always look in the oven before turning it on.
17a. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
18. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
18a. It will however make cats dizzy.
18b. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
***Borrowed from featured site www.laugh-of-the-day.com