-----The diminutive halfling steps to the forefront, seemingly not at all abashed to be one of the first to speak in front of the august company of dignitaries and soldiers. As he steps forward, the onlookers can't help but notice that he seems to have several brightly colored candles tied to the sparse whiskers on his chin. In addition to this, a somewhat bedraggled parrot is perched on his left shoulder. As the halfling moves, it seems to bob up and down, but keeps completely motionless until he takes a step.
-----His clothing is also somewhat unusual, underneath his leather armor can be seen a tattered red silk vest. Around his waist is a green sash, apparently serving as a belt. His pants are a vivid yellow that almost hurts the eye to look upon. These pants are in turn tucked into a pair of calf high black boots, which seems to be a match for the tri-cornered hat and the leather armor. The handles of several small throwing knives can be seen sheathed along the chest area of the armor. A bent short sword is belted to the waist.
-----The halfling speaks, "Arrr, I be The Dread Pirate Gimplefwick WispyBeard of the WispyBeard clan o' pirates. I've sailed the seven seas and battled me way through most of the land in between. I've seen things o' wonder that most can't even imagine. I've climbed the mountains of far Kilgarash and cut the heads off of foul undead demons from the pits of Hades itself."
-----The halfling waves his hand magnanimously at the rest of the adventurers, "Seein as how we'll be spendin a lot o' time together, I'll be allowin ye to call me Dread. Or Gimplefwick. But if ye feel ye have to call me Captain, I'll understand, even though we aren't on me frigate."
-----The Dread Pirate seems about to step back, but then pauses and addresses, the Chamberlain, "Here now, matey, I was told to speak to Lord Lambert about me and my crew gettin recompensed fer this little trip. Seein as how we'll be away from home and our business concerns, riskin life and limb for the good of the world and all. Maybe the church could chip in and throw in a couple healin' potions as well. Seein' as how we'll be battlin' evil folk and all."
-----Gimplefwick pauses for a moment and then a thought seems to cross his mind, "And while we're at it, I'd like one o' those pegasus I've heard of. Or is it pegasi? One o' those winged horses that fly about. That'd be nice as well." The colorful halfling steps back, almost drooling at the thought of flying about, swooping in on his enemies as they scatter before his maniacal laughter and shining cutlass. He then reaches in his pack and pulls out a pie, which he contentedly munches on as the others speak.
-----Gimplefwick places his hands upon his hips and continues his boasting, "I taught Odysseus how to sail. Never mind that he got lost fer twenty years. I've hunted the great white whale of the northern ocean and been shipwrecked with me captain, a sage, a merchant and his wife, an actress, and a farm girl. It seemed like we'd never get off that blamed island."
-----Gimplefwick, seeing the exasperated faces around him, finishes up, "Lately I've been living from hand to mouth here in the city, as I've found no pirate crew worthy of having me in it."
-----"What do you do with a drunken sailor,
-----what do you do with a drunken sailor,
-----what do you do with a drunken sailor,
-----early in the morning?"
-----"The other version is 'What do you do with the Captain's daughter?', but it might not be appropriate right now," Gimplefwick states, eyeing the female half elf. "Say, that be quite a scar ye have there, little missy.
-----Ye should be more careful playing with sharp objects. Many is the time I used to say to me crew, 'Crew, ye should be careful playin wit sharp objects.' A good lesson to learn thought I. It puts me in mind of a time when the crew and I were sailin' home after a choice bit o' plundering and pillaging. Well, to make a long story short, we came across this impassable obstacle in the sea. To the one side was a gigantic whirlpool and to the other was a huge multi-headed snake beast wallowing there in the ocean, devouring sailors by the score. The only way home was straight betwixt the two of 'em. Well, the captain turned to me and said, 'Gimplefwick, I'm ascared. Whatever shall I do? Please help me.' So I says to him in reply, 'Odysseus, don't you worry none. I've sailed through right worse than this.' So I shoved him outta my way and took over the helm and sailed right between the two of monstrous beasts." Gimplefwick looks about, then smiles and nods to himself happily and starts humming 'What do you do with a drunken sailor.'