Onwards to Part Two of Interview wih Sephiroth
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Inferna: Okay, this is the Interview with Sephiroth, and--
Brad Pitt: Hey, it's ME you're supposed to be interviewing!!
Inferna: (Sigh) Vampire's next door.
Brad Pitt: Oh, yeah. Sorry (Leaves).
((Teardrop on Inferna and Sephiroth's head))
Inferna: Anyway... Let's get to business. ...Umm, Sephiroth... First of all, what do you think of your "mother" Jenova?
Sephiroth: Well, she's the best mother I ever had.
Inferna: ...........Sephiroth, you only get ONE mother. You never spent any time with her. And if you did care so much about her, why the Hell did you cut her head off?
Sephiroth: I didn't have a photo, so that was the only substitute.
Inferna: Where's the head now?
Sephiroth: It's in an old pickle jar at home. I have to keep it there in the juices to preserve it. Only thing is, whenever I take it out, it absolutely REEKS of garlic.
Inferna: Okay... um... Let's talk of the Nibulheim incident, shall we?
Sephiroth: Fine.
Inferna: When you slashed Tifa Lockhart with your Masamune Sword, why didn't you finish her off? You certainley had the chance to do so.
Sephiroth: I didn't have time for that. I wanted to see mom, it would slow Cloud down a bit, and besides, Tifa's rather kawaii! (Smiles) It'd be a shame for a bishoujo like her to die. It's a good thing I let her live too! Have you ever seen her!?
Inferna: (Teardrop) Uh-huh...... I noticed that you managed to lift that heavy metallic cover off of Jenova's containment beaker. How did you come to be so strong?
Sephiroth: Well, keeping my hair like this (Pulls his bangs, but they don't move a bit) takes a LOT of styling products. I keep in shape because carrying all those spray cans, shampoos, conditioners and gel bottles really gives a workout!
Inferna: Mmm-hm. Well, what do you think of Cloud?
Sephiroth: I like Cirrocumulus the best! They look like fishy scales!
Cloud: (Bursts in) No way!! Cirrus Clouds are WAY cooler!!
Sephiroth: Why you little--!! (Strangles Cloud)
Inferna: Heyheyheyhey!!! (Interferes with the two) No, Seph, I meant, what do you think of Cloud Strife!
Sephiroth: (Still grasping Cloud) Who?
Inferna: Cloud Strife!! The main character, the Incomplete Sephiroth Clone, the spiky-blonde-haired guy, wields a big-ass Bastard Sword, got stabbed by you five years ago and survived, KILLED you in the ending, and also the GUY WHO YOU'RE STRANGLING RIGHT NOW!! Ring a bell!?
Sephiroth: (Pause) ................Nope. (Strangles Cloud again)
Inferna: The guy who's a childhood friend of Tifa Lockhart!!!
Sephiroth: (Immediatley stops strangling Cloud and drops him on the floor) Oh, yeah!! Eh, he's okay.
(While the two continue talking, Cloud sneaks away, holding his throat)
Inferna: Let's continue. What do you think about Aerith Gainsborough?
Sephiroth: She's very nice. Polite, kind, and good hair...hmm, that last quality reminds me of someone... Whatever happened to her?
Inferna: Seph, you killed her. You came in surprise and stabbed her through the stomach with your sword.
Sephiroth: Oh. Too bad.
Inferna: (Rolls eyes) How about Yuffie Kisaragi? You know, the Kunoichi?
Sephiroth: Well, she's extremely selfish, arrogant, self-centered, and sly. I like it! If she were older and a villain, I would be attracted to her!
Inferna: Hmm. Okay, lastly, what do you think of Tifa?
Sephiroth: She's SO000000000 kawaii!! And strong too! If only she hadn't chosen that idiot, Cloud! She has bad taste in men...
Inferna: ........Well, Cloud IS a clone of you, Seph, so would it mean that Tifa's taste in men is good?
Sephiroth: (Glares and tightens his grip on the Masamune, unsheathing it)
Inferna: (Quickly) On second thought, that's probably wrong. (Nervous smile) Uh, that's it for this interview! (Waves bye, Sephiroth slashes the camera, screen goes black, yelling, running, and glass breaking can be heard.)
Phew! Well, sorry if you thought this stunk. I'm really bad at writing funny stories. I wanted to do something that no other Sephiroth Shrine had, and then this sorta came to mind. The section on hair styling products is courtesy of Dorkis and Evil Child/Shadowfax.
Onwards to Part Two of Interview wih Sephiroth
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