Happy Bob says that this many happy people have visited this happy site. Happy Number:

PINKY AND THE BRAIN’S PAGE OF INANE BANTER

by aytcH

Das Mouse

Pinky:

We'll be there before you could yell poit!

Brain:

We'll reach Mars before I yell "poit!"

Pinky:

Egad, Brain. We'll be all right, won't we? Brain?

Brain:

POIT!

---

Pinky:

If you could be any animal, what would it be?

Brain:

Oh, I'd have to say a hawk, Pinky. So I could soar through the sky, catch little white mice in my sharp talons, and feed them to my young.

Pinky:

Eww. That's just weird, Brain.

Up to the Ep. List

Of Mouse and Man

Brain:

...For no one really knows how a microwave works.

Pinky:

But why the powdered creamer, Brain?

Brain:

No one really knows how that works either.

---

Boss:

If you need any offices supplies ask the office manager, and she'll have them here in two or three months.

---

Pinky:

Oh, Brain. Goody! You're back! I've made a yummy dinner. Food pellets with food pellets.

Brain:

Please, Pinky. I've had a very tough day.

Pinky:

Oh you've had. You've had a tough day. You! What about my day, Brain? We always here about your day, but what about mine? Divorce this! And divorce that! La di dubdi dah, narf! Do you ever ask what I did today?

Brain:

Very well, Pinky. What did you do today?

Pinky:

Umm, [sigh] can't remember.

---

Gina Farrow:

You know what they say: "Big ears, big earmuffs."

---

Judge:

I find you guilty of fraud, perjury, and appearing naked in a public place.

Up to the Ep. List

Tokyo Grows

Pinky:

The fat guy in the suit is surprisingly agile.

Up to Ep. List

That Smarts

Brain:

What were you doing up there, Pinky?

Pinky:

Oh, I was having a devil of a time cleaning the chimney, Brain.

Brain:

We don't have a chimney.

Pinky:

Oh, well, there you are then.

Brain:

No, there you are. I am absolutely no where near that vicinity.

---

Pinky:

I liked it better when it was "No, Pinky" this, bob on the head. "No, Pinky" that, bob on the head. But now, egad, being a smarty is no fun.

Up to Ep. List

Pinky & the Fog

Brain:

By altering the frequency of my voice, I am able to befog men's minds.

Pinky:

But how? With some electronic gizmo thingie?

Brain:

No, with these! [waves his index fingers. He pulls the corners of his mouth down] In a moment you will no longer be able to see me. For I am, the Fog!

---

Brain:

Obviously he has no mind to befog.

---

Brain:

The radio transmitter will soon broadcast my befogging message to every household in the world. And then, my dream will be realized.

Pinky:

You mean, you'll finally dance with the Ballet Russe?

---

Pinky:

I never knew radio was like this, Brain.

Brain:

What did you think it was like, Pinky?

Pinky:

Oh, you know. Like a big, red, squishy ball with little knobbies on it.

---

Actress:

A bomb!

The Mist:

A bomb?

Brain:

A bomb?

Pinky:

Here's one. [BOOM]

The Mist:

Fortunately, I cleverly rerouted your fuse, so that all you blew was your own lab.

Actor:

My lab!

Actress:

My hero!

Brain:

My head!

Up to Ep. List

Where No Mouse Has Gone Before

Pinky:

Look Brain! Poit! Haha! I'm experiencing total weightlessness.

Brain:

Curious. Looks more like total mindlessness, Pinky.

---

Brain:

One day we will live in a world where a mouse rules, and it's the humans who are forced to lead these humiliating diversions.

Pinky:

You mean Orlando?

---

Brain:

Did you see that plaque, Pinky?

Pinky:

Yes, Brain. Poit! He really ought to floss more often.

---

[spinning in the centrifuge]

Brain:

If I put myself on that plaque, the aliens will recognize me as Earth's leader.

Pinky:

Egad, Brain. I can hardly recognize you now.

---

Guard:

Halt. This is a restricted area. Show your identification.

Brain:

I am the famous jet propulsion scientist Verner Von Brain from the Braun institute in Boun.

Pinky:

Narf! And I'm Verner Von Pinky from the Mink institute in Pink! Or is that the Colonel Klink institute in Blink?

Guard:

What is this, some kind of a gag?

Brain:

Actually we are two laboratory mice who are plotting to take over the world.

Guard:

Hahaha You tiny Germans sure have a sense of humor.

Brain:

From now on, Pinky. Whatever anyone asks you, just say 'yah' or 'nine.'

---

Command:

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3. Stand by for ignition.

Brain:

Did you hear the countdown, Pinky?

Pinky:

Yah!

Brain:

What number are they down to?

Pinky:

Nine!

Brain:

Nine?

Pinky:

Yah!

Brain:

Excellent. Plenty of time. [gets caught in the blast] Didn't you tell me they were down to nine, Pinky?

Pinky:

Yah, nine! Poit!

Brain:

Tell me Pinky. Do you practice being dim, or is it a natural talent?

Pinky:

Oh, practice, Brain. All day, every day. Bleh!

---

Pinky:

Poit! Narf!

Alien:

Narf, poit. This one is quite intelligent. He speaks excellent Fernobulaxian. Poit.

Brain:

Yes, I trained him. Narf, poit, egad.

---

Brain:

And then, I invented the airplane.

Aliens:

Oooo.

Brain:

Just before my greatest discovery--

Pinky:

Airline food?

Brain:

No, Pinky. I was referring to electricity.

Aliens:

Ahhh.

Pinky:

But Brain, wasn't that Ben Fran... [Bonk]

Aliens:

Huh??

Brain:

Eh, heheh. That is considered a gesture of respect on Earth.

Alien:

One called Brain. We wish to show our respect. [BONK]

Pinky:

Narf, Brain. You mean all these years you were just showing me respect? I'm touched.

Brain:

You certainly are.

---

Brain:

Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over Fernobulax.

Up to Ep. List

Brainania

Brain:

Unfortunately a dryer of this magnitude will cost 14 billion dollars and 59 cents.

Pinky:

I have it! We build a huge tooth and leave it under a pillow, a huge pillow, then fairies will bring us lots of money.

Brain:

I suggest you refrain from eating paint chips, Pinky.

---

Pinky:

Look Brain. I made a round bird. Birdie, birdie, birdie! Narf!

---

Brain:

The average American's knowledge of geography is pitiful. They'll think we're part of the former Soviet Union or Canada.

---

Pinky:

Ahoy Brain. We're almost out of spam, but there's a bunch of gelatine in here with bits of spam stuck to it. Do you want any? [Brain is heard evacuating his lunch] Right, I'll save you some then. Zort!

---

Brain:

I'll address them in the primitive argot of the South Seas. Me number one fella. Other fella number ten. Catchy all same same, you sabι?

Alan:

G'day mate. You speak English? Me and the boys learned the lingo from an old island trader. Later on we ate him and shrank his blinkin' head. Wanna see?

---

Brain:

Behold! I can create fire from a little box.

Alan:

So what?

Native1:

Big deal.

Native2:

Let's eat 'em.

Brain:

I can steal your souls and put them in this glass.

Alan:

So what?

Native1:

Big deal.

Native2:

Let's eat 'em.

Pinky:

I can make bubbles with my spit. [Natives gasp and bow down]

---

Brain:

We'll obtain the loan and be gone before anyone is the wiser. This should be like misappropriating milk duds from an infant.

Mrs. Applebee:

Well aren't you the tiniest foreigners I've had in here all morning. I'm Mrs. Applebee. Can I help you?

Pinky:

Yes. We would like to have relations with you, and steal some milk duds.

---

Mrs. Applebee:

Brainania? Oh, yes. I remember. You used to be a suburb of Prague.

---

Secretary:

Mr. Bisque, the prime minister of Brainania is here to see you.

Bisque:

Oh great! More moochers! Send them in.

---

Bisque:

How much money do you want?

Brain:

14 billion dollars and 59 cents. And we prefer it in U.S. currency. You see, our only money is the queebe, an asphalt coin weighing over 30 pounds.

Pinky:

Ol' Brainania has ripped pockets.

Bisque:

Sorry, no loan. There's nothing here to indicate financial trouble. In fact, you have no credit rating at all. Now go away.

Brain:

He can no doubt be pressured by a subtle threat. In refusing our loan, you could harm delicate negotiations between Brainania and the U.S.

Pinky:

Oh, right, right, right. Um, we're going to invade your land, go Boom! Boom! Boom! And make you our pathetic slaves!

Bisque:

Invade? Help! Brainania has declared war! Everyone to arms!

Brain:

Pinky, you've just created an international incident!

Pinky:

Why, thank you Brain. Narf!

---

Man:

General Oden, where is Brainania?

Gen. Oden:

It's up here on the big board.

John Wayne Commando:

Ah, where exactly, sir?

Gen. Oden:

We're ready to go in a moment's notice... [phone rings] Yes, Mr. Secretary?

Mr. Secretary:

For the last time General, where is Brainania?

Gen. Oden:

Well it's ah, on the big board.

Mr. Secretary:

We're way down in the polls. We need a fast, easy war.

Gen. Oden:

Sir, Brainania isn't on the map. Our satellites can't find it, and it's not listed in any back issues of National Geographic.

Mr. Secretary:

Sadly, we can't go to war with a country we can't find! [hangs up]

Gen. Oden:

Wus.

---

The President:

Uh, me number one fella, other fellas number ten. Catchy all same same, you sabι?

Brain:

I speak fluent English.

The President:

Hey! Sure you do!

---

The First Lady:

Before we grant you the loan, there's a small favor we'd like to ask. Perhaps your minister of finance would want to hear this. [Pinky is trying to free his head from an olive]

Brain:

He's ah, praying.

The First Lady:

Of course. Now then, we were wondering if Brainania would mind storing nine and a half tons of our nuclear waste.

The President:

Yeah, we're kind of out of room right now.

Brain:

Reactor core control rods or resins and filters?

The First Lady:

Actually it's core fuel.

Brain:

Strontium 90 or Uranium 238?

The First Lady:

Uranium 238. We use it because it splinters easily when stuck by a free neutron.

Brain:

Hmm, we'll take four tons provided you supply Berloian lined mester tanks.

The First Lady:

Seven.

Brain:

Five.

The First Lady:

Done.

The President:

Heh, I don't know what y'all talking about but whoo-wee! It sure sounds smart!

---

Brain:

Thanks and fare well, you niggling bureaucrat.

Bisque:

What did you call me?

Brain:

The hapless fool. We'll see how he rages after he's been in our clothes dryer, and his very garments imprison him like a mummy!

Pinky:

Then we can put tickly things in his nose.

Brain:

Let's not be vindictive, Pinky.

Up to the Ep. List

TV or Not TV

Pinky:

[entranced] I'm adoring you for no good reason.

Brain:

Pinky, nothing you do is for good reason.

---

Pinky:

Hmm. I'm thinking what would Mr. Belvedere do.

Brain:

I believe he would eat some butter.

---

Pinky:

But Brain, do you know what it takes to become a stand-up comedian?

Brain:

Hmm. The word butt?

---

Howie Tern:

So ah, Jamal Spelling, what kind of stupid name is that? C'mon, what's your real name?

Brain:

My real name is the Brain, and you, my unwashed friend, are repugnant.

Up to the Ep. List

NAPOLEON BRAINAPARTE

Brain:

Napoleon, Napoleon.

Pinky:

Ra! Ra! Ra!

Brain:

I do not cheer Napoleon, Pinky, I scorn him. He is a lucky amateur.

Pinky:

Who's about to take over the world before you do?

---

Brain:

Gone at last, obsequious buffoons.

Pinky:

Right-O Brain. Narf! Obsequious!

Brain:

Pinky, do you have any idea what obsequious means?

Pinky:

No, but it sounds squishy! Ooo I love squishy!

---

Brain:

I have altered the recipe for crepes suzette to make it highly explosive by adding one more ingredient. Do you know what that is?

Pinky:

Umm, little bits of granite?

Brain:

Oh, yes. Little bits of granite. Mmm, nummy! No, Pinky. The secret ingredient is nutmeg.

---

Pinky:

Heheh. Brain, have you ever noticed when you poke your finger way down into your belly button, it makes your ears pop? Aha-ha-ha! Zort!

Brain:

The good news for you Pinky is that I depend on your help.

Pinky:

What's the bad news, Brain?

Brain:

I depend on your help.

---

Pinky:

[lights the crepes suzette] Narf! Ooo I love that sound, don't you Brain? Fwomp! Brain?

Brain:

I'm inside the crepes.

Pinky:

Egad, Brain. Suit yourself.

Brain:

The nutmeg, Pinky.

Pinky:

Right!

Brain:

Don't add the nutmeg.

Pinky:

Don't? [large explosion]

---

Brain:

Pinky, give a man a fish and he'll eat a meal. Teach him to fish and he'll eat for life.

Pinky:

Oh, goody! Fishing!

Brain:

No, Pinky. Teaching! We'll teach the recipe to others at the cooking school, and they'll aid us in conquering the world.

Pinky:

Oh, right. Then fishing!

---

Pinky:

Cheer up Brain. It could be worse.

Brain:

How, Pinky?

Pinky:

Well, we could be two cantaloupes that nobody bought and be all rotten and smelly in the back of the market.

Brain:

Funny how that doesn't cheer me up.

---

Pinky:

What eh, what're you doing there, Brain?

Brain:

You're right, Pinky. It does make your ears pop.

---

Brain:

We want them to think I'm Napoleon. A most fortuitous shortcut.

Pinky:

Oh, but Brain, do you think you can fool them?

Brain:

Hmm, it will be difficult. They're expecting a tiny, little megalomaniac bent on ruling the world. Instead they have me.

---

Pinky:

Oh, this is glorious, Brain! [Pinky gets hit by a rubber ducky]

Brain:

Emperor Brain!

Pinky:

Right, Emperor Brain. Narf! Oh, if they could see me now they'd have a fit!

Brain:

Who, Pinky?

Pinky:

I dunno, someone who have fits. [gets hit by another rubber ducky]

Brain:

Must you be so bizarre?

Pinky:

Well what do you expect, Brain. We're in France.

Brain:

We aren't just in France, Pinky. As of today, we are France, and soon, we are the world!

Pinky:

Umm, are we they're children? [rubber ducky]

---

Pinky:

What happens when the real emperor shows up, Emperor Brain?

Brain:

A bit louder, Pinky. There's a truffle hunter outside Limoges who didn't quite hear you.

Pinky:

You mean our mom?

---

Guard:

Turn around. You may not enter. You are all too tall to enter France.

Napoleon:

I think not.

Guard:

You may pass.

---

Napoleon:

What is all this? We got a thing down here called the Napoleonic Code, and it says you don't start the party without me. Someone's head's gonna roll for this, Charlie. Josephine!

Up to the Ep. List

A PINKY AND THE BRAIN CHRISTMAS

Brain:

You are under my control. Can you hear me?

Pinky:

Narrrf!

Brain:

I'll take that as a yes. I order you to cluck like a chicken.

Pinky:

Moo!

Brain:

A chicken!

Pinky

Oh, right! Cluck, cluck, cluck!

Brain:

Good, now you are standing on hot sand.

Pinky

AhhhhhHHHH!

Brain:

Stop! Stop! Now impersonate William F. Buckley.

Pinky:

Hmm??

Brain:

Impersonate Regis Philbin.

Pinky:

I'm out of control!

---

Brain:

I am me. That is a fantastically power doll. Behold Noodlenoggin!

Pinky:

Noodlenoggin! Hahaha! I love that name!

---

Brain:

The only problem is that we'll need a billion Noodlenoggin dolls and to make them ourselves would take 137 years.

Pinky:

Oh, well, we'll be pretty old by then, wouldn't we?

Brain:

Yes, I believe we'd be 139.

---

Pinky:

This is wonderful!

Brain:

Yes, the verge of world domination.

Pinky:

Well, yes, that. But, now I get to deliver my letter to Santa in person! Hoorah!

---

Pilot:

Usually don't go this far North. You some kind of scientist? Don't talk much, do ya? Yeah, I had a boyfriend like you once, always thinkin', real quiet. Turns out he was a propane tank, which...explained a lot. I miss him.

---

Brain:

Pinky, what are you doing?

Pinky:

Oh, just working on my letter to Santa.

Brain:

Put that silly thing down. As if Santa could possibly read all the letters he gets.

Pinky:

No, Brain! The elves in the mail room read them, then they input the information into big computers.

Brain:

Oh, yes, of course. The Santa Computers that run on candy canes and potpourri.

---

Pilot:

Take the wheel for a sec, OK? I'm gonna go grab some coffee.

---

Pinky:

Brain, um. I was thinking. I don't think I really want to be an elf.

Brain:

Really? What do you want to be?

Pinky:

A dentist.

Brain:

You've seen too many Christmas specials.

---

Brain:

Mush! Mush!

Pinky:

Ow!

Brain:

Sorry.

---

Schotzie:

You got any special skills there?

Brain:

I have advanced knowledge in mechanical design, electrical engineering, product development, craftsmanship, ergonomics...

Schotzie:

Good, good. You start in the mail room.

---

Santa:

Find those blueprints!

Schotzie:

Yo! I'm on it!

Santa:

And Schotzie, what's with that goatee? Is that still in?

Schotzie:

Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo! Hey, I'm an elf!

---

Pinky:

The reindeer are inviting the elves to join them at a party at Donner's house.

Brain:

Hmm. Somehow the idea of joining the Donner party is unappealing.

---

Schotzie:

What are you doing here? This is a restricted area.

Brain:

Uh, break time. Union rules.

Schotzie:

That's funny, cuz we don't have a union.

Brain:

Really, do you think that's in the best interests of the common elf?

Schotzie:

I want you two to come with me.

Pinky:

LOOK! A DECOY!

---

Schotzie:

You guys aren't real elves, are you?

Brain:

Of course we are. We're just Canadian Elves, trying to blend in, eh?

Schotzie:

Yeah, well, YOU FAILED!

---

Schotzie:

You want to explain these fake ears?

Pinky:

Well, you put them on like this, and they make your ears all pointy, narf!

---

Elf:

Schotzie, Santa's about to leave and he can't remember that thing he says.

---

Pinky:

Brain, where's your Christmas spirit?

Brain:

Stashed away with my Bigfoot photos.

---

Pinky:

My letter to Santa!

Brain:

Pinky, not that letter again! Paperclip!

Pinky:

But but but Brain, my letter to Santa: it's it's still here.

Brain:

I don't care about your stupid letter!

Pinky:

But I didn't give it to Santa... I forgot to give it to Santa Clause!

---

Brain:

Dear Santa. Hello, ha ha Narf. This year Santa I ask for nothing, but I wish to tell you about my dear friend, The Brain. He is honest and very hard working. And only wants what's best for the world. But he gets no reward: he is only greeted with defeat. He never gives up, but I know it must be very hard. So please, take anything that you had for me and give it to my best friend in the whole world, The Brain. Love, Pinky. P.S. By any chance do you have in that big ol' bag of yours, the world?

---

Pinky:

Joy to the world! Narf! Narf! Narf! Narf!

Brain:

Is that really necessary?

Up to the Ep. List

FLY

Pinky:

Egad, Brain. What about the people who lived above the 39th floor? Do they all lose their homes?

Brain:

Of course, not Pinky. I would never... Well, there was that one guy in Florida, but I'll make it up to him.

Pinky:

I know Brain. Why don't you send him "The Incredible-Jimmy-Brain-No-Spill Coffee Mug!" Ha ha!

Brain:

It's not exactly no spill is it?

Pinky:

Oh, well then, how about um, "The Incredible-Jimmy-Brain-Spill Coffee Mug!"

Brain:

Careful, Pinky. You may be imitting things that are depleting the ozone.

---

Brain:

Jimmy Brain, your loss is my gain.

Floyd:

Listen here, Jimmy Brain. You took my retirement condo from me! I oughta leave Florida, come over there, send ya flying! What are you gonna do about it?

Brain:

Well, I uh, I'll send you "The Incredible-Jimmy-Brain-No-Spill Coffee Mug," no charge.

---

Pinky:

Egad, Brain, outstanding. How do you do it?

Brain:

With a little thing called thinking.

---

Pinky:

Narf. Look at all the planes, Brain.

Brain:

Yes. A pantheon of aviation. A shrine to lofty goals.

Pinky:

Thingies hanging on wires!

---

Pinky:

Do you think the old girl still got some life in her?

Brain:

Pinky, I particularly detest the practice of referring to a mode of transportation with the familiar appellation 'old girl.'

Pinky:

Transportation? I was thinking about my mother.

---

Pinky:

Are we going to push it to the edge of the envelope?

Brain:

No, Pinky. We may, however, reach the sticky part.

---

Brain:

I feel the need, the need, for expeditious velocity!

---

Brain:

I will be Dr. Ingmar Hostwax, and you are?

Pinky:

Hmm, you got me there, Brain. I are who?

Brain:

Take the wheel, Pinky. [BOP] You are Dr. Niki Jigalililililopen.

Pinky:

Ha ha ha ha! Great name! Jigalilililililililililil....

Brain:

Yes, take the wheel again, Pinky. [BOP]

Pinky:

What was that for, Brain?

Brain:

Time will tell, Pinky. Time will tell.

---

Floyd:

That's another thing! Why are we monkeying around with people from some dinky little country that can't even for Pete's sake afford a descent airplane! Nobody flies Ziggies anymore!

Ben:

Hey, hey, go easy. We don't want to start an international incident.

Floyd:

What have they ever given the world! Except curvy furniture and some pastry, where if you put it in a microwave, the filling gets so hot you burn your tongue even if the icing's ice cold! This darn coffee mug! Get me some more coffee!

Man:

Ooo. What's with Floyd?

Ben:

Oh, he got burned in some real-estate deal. He's ballistic 'bout it.

Floyd:

Hey! Do you hear me blabbing about you! [gets a microphone] About your hair transplant! Or your nose job! Darn right! 'Cause I respect people's secrets!

---

Floyd:

I'm Floyd Nesbit, ground control chief. And you are?

Brain:

Dr. Ingmar Hostwax.

Pinky:

I'm um, Narf! Egad, Brain. I forgot my name!

Brain:

Well then. It's a good thing I bopped you when I had the chance, isn't it?

Floyd:

Well Dr., what's your mission here?

Brain:

Actually, I'm a laboratory mouse bent on world domination.

Floyd:

What does that mean! Ah, for corn's sake, they can't even speak English! Just a bunch of gobbledygook!

---

Brain:

The shuttle only has one extra-vehicular suit with a life line attached. We'll have to share it.

Pinky:

That's OK Brain. I already went. If you know what I mean.

---

Smitty:

Floyd, we're picking up an unsched-extra-vehic.

Floyd:

Can't anybody speak English around here!

---

Floyd:

I hear two of them. Where's the other one?

Smitty:

I ah, think they're sharing the same suit, sir.

Floyd:

This... is... sick.

---

Floyd:

Ah, this darn coffee mug! I'll get you Jimmy Brain! Brain? Brain! AHHHHHHH!!!!!

---

Floyd:

Jimmy Brain! Jimmy Brain! Jimmy Brain! Looks like I'm gonna send you flying after all! I'm cutting your leash! CUTTING YOUR LEASH!

Brain:

Pinky, I feel as if my time has finally come.

Floyd:

You got that right Mr. Real-estate hustler!

Pinky:

B-Brain! Narf! Zort! Poit! Brain!

Brain:

Suddenly this seems like a bad place to be.

---

Brain:

Thank you! Thank you, kind... [gasp] dog.

Newt:

Grrowl...

Up to the Ep. List

Ambulatory Abe

Brain:

Abe Lincoln was perhaps the most respected president of all time. Once we arrange his comeback, the mere sight of him will compel the populous to follow his lead.

Pinky:

But Brain, Abe Lincoln, um, didn't he ah... isn't he... you know...

---

Tourist:

What color's your belly button lint?

Brain:

Blue gray with shards of cadmium yellow.

---

Clinton:

Gosh Mr. President, y-you haven't touched your potato salad. Y'know it's mighty good in the tummy.

Brain:

Thank you, but my innards are solid granite. And please, call me Abe.

Up to Ep. List

Mouse of La Mancha

Brain:

Wait, let me tell you all a story.

Big Rat:

Oh, no. Nothing doing.

Rags:

No stories!

Big Rat:

Not a story. Anything but a story.

Brain:

More's the pity. This is a story of Spain in the 16th century.

Rags:

Ah, 16th century Spain!

Big Rat:

Why didn't you say so? Go on. But I likes a happy ending I do.

---

[A windmill knocks Brain off his horse]

Pinky:

Don Cerebro, are you all right?

Brain:

What has transpired, Sancho Pinky?

Pinky:

You were knocked off your horse by that huge multi-armed monster.

---

Brain:

As they grovel for food and power, we will take over the world!

Pinky:

El Narfo!

---

Innkeeper:

It must be winter; the knights are getting shorter! [laughs] Get it?

Brain:

Unfortunately, yes. I am Don Cerebro, knight errant. I demand tribute for defending your town.

Innkeeper:

So what do you do, slay dragons? We haven't seen a dragon for years, unless you count my mother-in-law. Ha-ha!

Brain:

Actually, I am a mouse planning global domination.

Innkeeper:

A comedian! We can use one of those.

Brain:

You're telling me.

---

[Rats break a hole in the wall for Brain to escape]

Rags:

Go!

Brain:

You mean, you want me to take over the world?

Rags:

No! We just want yous to stop singing! Now go!

Up to the Ep. List

Meet John Brain

Reporter:

Mr. Brain, have you chosen a running mate to be your vice president?

Brain:

Yes I have. Admiral Pinky.

Pinky:

Narf! [laughs] What am I doin' here? E-ha. Narrrf!

---

Brain:

The winds of change blow steady, my friend, waiting for one thing. Do you know what that thing is?

Pinky:

Eh, someone with a kite? ZORT!

---

Reporter:

Since revealing himself as a fraud, John Brain has fallen to nowhere in the polls.

Brain:

Turn that off, Pinky.

Reporter:

But a newcomer, a Mr. Boo, is climbing in the...[tv turns off]

Up to Ep. List

The World Can Wait

Up to Ep. List

Pavlov's Mice

Pinky:

What'cha doin' over there, Brain?

Brain:

Contemplating your afterlife, Pinky.

---

Brain:

In that brief time we will sneak past the Czar's guards under cover of darkness, and steal the crown jewels. For he who controls the jewels, controls Mother Russia.

Pinky:

But, I though your mother's name was Desiree.

To the Ep List

Where Rodents Dare

Pinky:

We did it! NARF! We froze the janitor! Oh, job well done, Brain. Very good. All right then, good night!

Brain:

But Pinky, there's more!

Pinky:

I also get the Ginsu knives?

---

Brain:

If my calculations are correct, and they always are, we will touch down on the roof of the castle's banquet hall. [They land perfectly]

Pinky:

Bull's eye, General Brain! Zounds! [Then they start sliding down the roof]

Brain:

Unfortunately, the roof is a treacherous sheet of ice!

Up to Ep. List

When Mice Ruled the Earth

Brain:

Come, Pinky. Time to put my plan into action.

Pinky:

[Pinky's running on the exercise wheel] Just a sec, Brain. I think I'm finally getting somewhere.

---

Brain:

By utilizing the invisible forces of nature, we shall make this time machine work.

Pinky:

But how, Brain?

Brain:

With this. [holds up a paper clip]

Pinky:

Um, Brain. It's not quite invisible, is it? Y'see I can see it quite plainly. [Pinky is hit on head with the paper clip] I can even feel it.

---

Brain:

Quickly, Pinky. We must return to the past. I must change it all back again.

Pinky:

But why, Brain? It'll be easy to rule a world of mice like them.

Brain:

Yes, Pinky, but who would want to?

Up to Ep. List

Return to the lab (index) for tomorrow night

If you have noticed, some text from the quotations are in different colors, and if clicked upon, you end up here. That is because I have no idea what the word/phrase is or how it is spelled. If you can help please do so by emailing me. (Please make sure you spell correctly. Thank you.

I need help with:

Brain: "...four tons provided you supply Berloian lined mester tanks."

from Ep. 5; Brainania. scene where Brain and Hillary Clinton are discussing storage of nuclear waste.

© 1997

Don't forget to sign my guestbook! It's up at the top in the banner, along with other stuff.

This page hosted by Get your own Free Homepage