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A note from the author, wongfeifong (Jonathan) on 5/02/01 - Heck, you all saw the first fanfic I made two years ago. Well guess what? I made another just like it, ha ha ha, my dry sense of humor just doesn't change, sigh. This time is a little bit longer but the theme is relatively the same as my first one, a parody. My sister did pitch in on some part of the fic though she has no comment to say here. Again we had a fun time making this up so should you. Enjoy now. E-mail your comments to me, Thanks.
EXPECT THIS: Same as first fanfic, Emeralda is a child here even after Deus' era, despite the ending movie had shown an adult Emeralda. Also, assume Emeralda can speak fluently and has human emotions thanks to some nano-machine technologic adjustment by Citan.
It's been a year since Fei and their victory over Deus. Ever since then, their party has never been disbanded but promised to rebuild their world together.
In the Yggdrasil
After another usual heated argument with his fiancée Margie, The grumpy, half-alert Bart sat himself in the hallway of the Yggdrasil on some boxes of bartweiser, thinking.
Emeralda runs up and begins communicating with Bart.
Emeralda: I doubt anyone would want to drink Bartweisers with your butt on it.
Bart: Argh, go find some other people to bug like Chilly Billy, I'm in a bad mood.
Emeralda: Chilly Billy?
Bart: Yea, that guy is idle and hard-headed like an "chilly" iceberg, just gives you the chills. Anyway, you get going now. ok?
Bart's head drifted down on the floor hoping she will go away. Emeralda thought Bart is probably too tired to fight back so she continue annoying Bart.
Emeralda: Ummm, Bart.
Bart: WHAT???
Emeralda: One of the Bartweiser is starting to leak.
With his mind not clear, Bart felt for the trick like a sucker. Bart jumps up and check for the leaked can.
Just that split second, Emeralda sneaks right for Bart's whip and runs away through the hallway screaming and laughing like a fanatic.
Bart: Why you little......
Bart's face grew red, hellfire red considering he was pissed off to begin with. Very very irritated but not in the mood to chase Emeralda, he gives up.(Remember the hammer incident?) He hears Emeralda's voice faintly.
Emeralda: This time I'm gonna play tug-of-war with it, hahaha.
Bart laid his butt back on the Bartweisers. How tempted Bart was to drink one to cool down. But Margie would no doubt find out and bombard him with irrefutable arguments. He noticed something fell out of his pants when he jumped before. It was the hide and seek badge won in Aveh. It would be a blast to have a cool swim in the aqueduct with this badge to enter it, Bart thought.
At once, Bart decides to go to Aveh. But first, he must convince Margie.
Bart: pleeeease. Let me have this last moment of single hood in Aveh.
Margie: sigh, I guess I can be a little stubborn sometimes. oh alright, you may go. Just take this grocery list with you.
Margie sticks a 5 feet long paper into his hands. This is the "Yggdrasil" shopping list. Five feet is considered short!!!
Bart: but...
Margie:(with a look): but what honey?
Bart: hehe, do you want nuts in your peanut butter?
Bart exits Margie's room into the hallway and closes the door gently.
Bart(grumbling to himself): Margie is sweet and deadly, she has mastered her skill of husbandry (The art of husband controlling) already. HELP ME!
Just then Fei and Billy walks by chattering amongst themselves. Bart stops them.
Bart: Hey, you guys gotta come with me to Aveh!
Fei: Why?
Billy: What's in it for me?
Bart: How about a drink in Aveh's local bars?
Billy: Local bars.....cheapskate.
Bart: What was that? You don't want a free drink?
Billy: I'm too young to drink, but I'll have one of them fruit drinks. I'm in.
Fei: Fine by me, Bart buddy.
Bart now thinking to himself. "Suckered myself some help for my grocery list, hehehe. Besides, I do want someone to chat with before my marriage comes."
An hour later, the Yggdrasil is parked on the sandy dunes beside Aveh. After dropping off its three occupants, the Yggdrasil once again resumes flight. "We'll pick you guys up when you radio us." was the promise made between the three and Bart's trusted half-brother Sigurd.
Bart revisits Aveh with his buddy Fei and his not-so-buddy Billy. Before reaching Aveh there was a walk on the desert, a conversation strikes up. The conversation began from a flier the three had found half-buried in the sand. Probably blown here from the city of Aveh, the flier was a medicine ad adorned with a bikini-clad girl. Noticing the blush on Billy's face, Bart and Fei began to tease him. But soon both Bart and Fei gave advice to young Billy about girls. With much bragging hoping Billy would feel jealous, the two jabbers away about how they successfully pleased their girlfriends in the past. But in reality there isn't much for the two to brag about - Bart has Margie to nag him and so does Fei with Elly. We could only wonder how Billy is taking and thinking about this.
The three arrived at Aveh's entrance. Bart wants his cool swim bad now. He must now get Fei and Billy into shopping for him.
Fei: Where to Bart?
Bart: How about doing a little help for the Yggdrasil? Let's do a little shopping first.
Billy: Oh I knew it, there's always hidden fees when it comes to Bart dealing.
Fei: Let me see the list, I'm sure Bart wouldn't be irrational, it must be a short list.
Bart: He He, here it is, shorter then a toilet paper roll.
Fei: Ah, this could take a whole day and night.
Bart: Whole day and night? Really? I thought it would just take a few hours max. Way to burst my bubble. (As he was referring about his long awaited heavenly swim)
Billy: Did he say bubbles?
Fei: He said "bursting" bubbles.
Billy & Fei: Let's go pop some ballooooooons.
Both of them ran in and up Aveh's slope to the balloon popping tent as Bart helplessly stands and watch them go with his "toilet paper" wrapped unwillingly in his hand.
Bart: Forget this, I'm gonna get my cool swim no matter what.
Stuffs the list loosely into his pocket.
Bart walks into Aveh entrance with the marketplace ahead.
Bart travels through the market. Some people, including a child, bowed down to Bart upon his arrival because of Bart's popularity after liberating Aveh. Bart, feeling very uneasy especially about the child, kneels down and tries to help him up.
"He he!" was the sound Bart heard when he felt a big bong on his head. When Bart's mind cleared up, he heard a voice say, "This time, it won't be so easy to find me!". Bart recognized that voice as the kid who he won the badge from after the hide and seek game. Bart checked his pocket only to find his hide and seek badge missing. Bart stood there and realized that the little weasel was a sore loser. As Bart chases for his energizing swim, he wished he has his whip back so he could punish that brat.
Having finished their challenge and are running out of gil's from overspending, Fei and Billy just dully sit on a random rooftop over-looking the marketplace. After an hour of boring converse, they decide that it was time to meet up with the reckless pirate leader.
Bart, being in poor condition from hours of endless searching, reunites with his chumps in the bar.
In the bar. Fei, Billy, and Bart relaxes as they slowly sip their cool drinks. A conversation formulates amongst them and soon the tempted bar tender joins in with his rumors. "How's the rebuilding process going? I've heard you guys spent more time rebuilding Kislev than here.", "I have heard news of Ramsus and his elements fighting in the Aveh tournament this coming year." and soon a topic of most interest to Bart...the braided boy finds out that his much-loved Bartweiser company is going out of business.
Bart: What? Going our of business! How?
Bar Tender: Well, I am sorry to say this to you prince Bartholomew. The taste of this stupid brand hasn't improve as they increasingly match wasting money on distasteful advertisement, especially their last one. Sells plummeted ever since.
Billy snickers and whispers to himself "distasteful", he he he.
Bart: What are YOU laughing about? Laugher boy?
Billy: I happen to saw this commercial once in the Yggdrasil jumbotron TV. You were holding a beer sitting lazily on a sofa watching gear matches, then all of a sudden you were caught attention of the camera, ha ha ha...
Bart: Yeah? Really???
Billy (cuts him): And guess what you do? he he he, you did a half drunk, half retard impression that filled up the huge jumbotron and yelled a.....ahem.....WAAAASSUUUUUUUP?
Fei laughed his stomach out.
Fei: ha ha ha, Did you record that face?
Billy: You bet, this will go great on Bart's wedding night.
Fei and Billy toasted and laugh some hearty laughs some more.
Bart in disbelief and quite embarrassed.
Bart: How did they publish that? I told them specifically NOT to use it...
The truth is Bart was going to let his company use this commercial as their last ace of revival. Unfortunately, he should have discussed with everyone else first, now he's in for quite some laughs around the world! Not to mention giving Bartweiser it's final deathblow.
Having settled down from that unexpected mayhem, the three sat down continue to finish their drinks and began talking about their day. The conversation went something like this:
Billy: You shouldn't be drinking so much bartweisers...
Bart: Argh, I want to help my company stay alive, I have to help it by drinking more of it.
Billy: What about the Margie Amendment 130 - Prohibition???
Bart: Do you want me to pay for the drinks or not?
Fei(patting Bart): Hey come on, no need to get upset.
Not buying Fei's fake offer of friendship after his laughing at him before.
Bart: Oh yes,.....FEI, why don't you save some of that "charm" and teach your "daughter" Emeralda some MANNERS!!!
Fei:...
For that instance Fei's face turned sour. He remembered all the responsibility he has with Emeralda given by Elly after hearing that one comment from Bart.
Fei steps back and begins a less sour topic.....at least to him it is less sour.
Fei: So did you get all that stuff for Margie, Bart?
Bart: Hell no! I don't even want to talk about it. I spent the whole day lookin' for some runt who stole my hide and seek badge.
Billy: Now if you had stopped to think about it, you would have realized that it was not worth it to run off and risk getting yelled at by Margie.
Bart: Feh, I'm not a sissy like you. I enjoy getting yelled at. A healthy dose of nagging and screaming completes my day.
Billy: ...And to think you two are getting married next week.
Fei: So, who was the kid that stole the badge?
Bart: The kid? I don't know. He's a funny looking kid; wore a pink hat.
Billy: Pink hat? I think we saw a kid wearing one from where we were sitting, right Fei?
Fei: Yeah, he was holding something shiny too.
Bart: WHERE IS HE?!
Fei: Uh uh, he was sitting on one of the rooftops across from us.
Billy: Hey Bart! Where are you going?
Fei: He's gone.
After receiving this new bit of information, The drunken Bart runs out to find the little weasel. His partly sober eyes scans the rooftops franticly. Having spot the pink head, he runs off for a ledge to climb up on.
When Fei and Billy was out of the bar, Bart was already nowhere in sight. They run to the market place. On one of the rooftops, they saw both Bart and the boy in some shouting match with each other. Even though Fei and Billy could not hear what they were saying in the distance, they could tell approximately what words were being thrown about. Then to their horror, Bart lunges at the boy as the boy dodges and loses balance on the edge. Unfortunately for Bart, with his reflexes drowned by the drinks, he was unable to recover his stance and falls over the ledge.
By the time Fei and Billy reached the scene, it was already too late. All they could do is carry Bart out and wait for Citan and the Yggdrasil to return.
After Citan checked Bart out, he informs the others of Bart's state
Citan: "Physically he is alright except for his left leg, which is broken and will require approximately a few months to heal. In other words, I'm sorry to say that the marriage will have to be postponed."
Ohhhh yeah, that surely did it. That little revelation left Margie screaming at the top of her lungs. Poor Bart could only sit there helplessly and hope his ears wouldn't burst. And his drinking buddies just stood there and observed:
Billy: Well, that surely is a healthy dose of screaming alright.
Fei: Naw, I wouldn't call that healthy; it's a bit more of an overdose to me.
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