![]() |
|||
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|
![]() |
|||
![]() |
|||
![]() |
|
![]() |
Greater Demon retires killing adventurers, becomes pop superstar.August 9, 2002 Posted: 7:30 PM EDT (2330 GMT)
(MNN) -- In a surprising turn of events, a disillusioned Greater Demon at one point speculated to have committed suicide has turned up in a very unexpected place, among the ranks of pop sensation N'Sync. What happens to Runescape monsters who become sick of the "grind?" One Greater Demon has recently given his answer to this age old question, doing something wholly unheard of in the game. After a thankless year and a half of serving satan, the Greater Demon realized that there was no future in killing adventurers. "ROAR," the demon was quoted as saying in assessment of his employment as a minion of the dark lord, which was later explained by his attorney to mean "Yeah, after a year, I was getting pretty fed up of the mistreatment, and dying day in and day out really turns into a chore after a while. And it's not like it doesn't hurt! Plus the pay was for shit, those damn scavengers took most of my best stuff, all they left was ashes."
So, leaving Runescape and its adventurers behind, the popular monster set his sights for Hollywood, CA, hoping to make something of his life. While there, he came across Chris Kirpatrick at a bar, participating in homosexual intercourse with several models from the GAP, Kirpatrick's attention instantly turned to the Demon. "Well, what got my attention at first was his enourmous... umm... tail," Kirpatrick was quoted as saying at a later date, "it was so big, I just wanted it in... umm... the band." And what does the dark lord himself, Satan, think of this? "If that bitch wants to go around planting his seed in every damn pop band on earth, I don't care," Lucifer said. "But sooner or later, he'll come crawling back, they all do." And what of the rest of the members of N'Sync? Do they all agree with Kirpatrick's decision? "You try arguing with a 10 foot tall hellspawn," Joey Fatone, the 'ugly one,' stated, "Lance started a fight with him over toothpaste and almost lost an arm." "I think the Demon adds some much needed fresh blood to the group," Kirpatrick, "and between you and me, Lance was practically begging to have his arm ripped off, it wasn't his toothpaste. You wouldn't catch JC or Joey pulling that shit."
"He is one helluva dancer," Fatone added, "I mean, for someone composed of like 20 pixels who exists only in 2 dimensions, y'know?" Whether for better or for worse, the Demon is now an integral part of the pop sensation, already sparking fansites and advertising campaigns alike, and we are all thoroughly interested to see the outcome. "FUCK, YOU CRAZY BASTARD, IT'S MY TOOTHPASTE!!!" Lance Bass exclaimed, running out of the band's suite, "That son of a bitch ripped off my arm!!! Oh my god, I'm bleeding so badly, someone help!!!" ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
![]() | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
RELATED SITES:
HEALTH TOP STORIES:
Eat pork rinds, have fun Eating pie a hot trend Researchers find new breed of sewer rat Unicorns to humans: Another jump? Scientists map ice giant genome (More) |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
![]() |
Back to the top | ![]() |
© 2002 Anomolous Bullshit LP, LLLP.
A Really Unorganized Company. No Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Read our lack of privacy guidelines. Contact us. |