Viagra: Suspicions Bulge to a Head

Little pills equal lots of monsters.

(MNN) -- Of course you have heard of the popular drug, Viagra, but what connection could it possibly have to Runescape? Maybe more than you would think.

I'm sure anyone who has ever played Runescape has noticed one key thing, whenever someone kills a monster, another one shortly appears in its place. Now what does this tell you? Could it be that the server is spawning another so there will be monsters to fight? Of course not you jackass, that's silly. What we really know is that Runescape monsters breed like jackrabbits hopped up on Spanish Fly and Viagra.

But what would that have anything to do with you? Well have you had the urge to buy Viagra recently? (We know you have, so don't lie bitch). Well our sources have confirmed that almost all of Runescape users, 97.2% take or snort Viagra, While the other 2.8% were away macroing.

So with our suspicions risen (among other things) we sent out our reporters under cover to find out what this Viagra rush was all about.

Runescape a ploy to hock Viagra.

Well when we tryed contacting CEO of Pfizer, makers of Viagra, Hank McKinnel, we discovered that he was no other than ANDREW GOWER. That's right! But wait you ask, why would president of the biggest drug company in the world go out of his way to make Runescape? Well, "Hank" has made the answer quite apparent. He has made Runescape in order to push this drug upon the youth of America and make them procreate and make many many more children that will be strung out on Viagra for the rest of their lives.

Hank McKinnel responsible for Runescape?

But while these "children of the little blue pill" are coming about, we all know they can't procreate with females to subdue their urges, because not all of them are as easy as Runescape girls, so they will start humping household appliances, and then when those appliances break due to "over use," the global economy will benefit. Oh whatever....if you'll excuse me.......the desk....is...lookin...mighty fine right about now..........oh........yes.........