Many years ago, in Japan, Dung Fu master Xiop Sooey (chopp-soo-eee) trapped a cockroach for fun, and out of boredom taught him martial arts. Xiop Sooey taught the roach the ancient ways of Dung Fu and Karaoke. Karaoke, the deadlier of the two, is used usually only when the user has little or no mercy. Even though Xiop Sooey taught the roach martial arts, he was also very unkind to him. He named the roach Fatty, fed him dirt, and whipped him with dental floss twice a day. Fatty did not like this, so after a while, he ran away to America, where he thought he would be safe.
Meanwhile, four monkeys escaped from the zoo. Three were chimps, and the other one was a gorilla. They had no where else to go, so they went to live in the sewer (eww). In the sewer there was a strange bubbly brown liquid. There was a broken glass canister nearby, which read MOOZE. MOOZE is fermented cauliflower. After wading in the liquid, they found that they were now very strong, and could talk. They tasted some, and they liked it! They started hiccuping and moping around the place. That is when they noticed Fatty. "You monkeys are pitiful. Look at you! You must learn the ways of the Ninja. I will teach you the ways of Dung Fu. Then you can use it against villains, and become famous."
"Cowadunga, dude," one of the chimps said.
"Cowadunga? What the heck does that mean?" Fatty asked.
"I don't know. But who cares?" Then they started blurting out nonsensical catch phrases like "Gnarly", "Bodacious", and "Awesome". They realized that they were hungry for pizza..
"What's pizza?"
"Who cares?"
The next day, Fatty taught them Dung Fu. The monkeys picked it up quickly, and they soon learned the awful truth of Fatty's past. They decided that their first arch nemesis would be Xiop Sooey.
"I will name you after my favorite classical composers: Tchaichosky, Strauss, Vivaldi, and Bach." Fatty said one day after he grew tired of yelling 'HEY, YOU!' to one of them when he wanted their attention.
"Those names are stupid!" The gorilla shouted. The monkeys chose the names Slayer, Bloode, Virus, and Phil. Slayer was the gorilla, the other three were chimps. Slayer's weapon were a couple of forks, Virus's weapon was a chicken, Bloode's weapon was a giant bread stick, and Phil had some sausage links as a weapon.