Everyone likes a little humor.  Here is a collection of jokes and things that you might enjoy. We hope that it brightens your day!

July 18, 2001:

Subject: Puns

Subject: so bad they're good....

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. 
The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one 
carrion allowed per passenger." 

2. Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low 
earth orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world. 

3. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood 
and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields 
and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as 
the lesser of two weevils. 

4. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a 
fire in the craft it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak 
and heat it, too. 

5. A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides 
up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." 

6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root 
canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication. 

7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were 
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about 
an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But 
why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand 
chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." 

8. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them 
goes a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in 
Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to 
his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that 
she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "They're 
twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." 

9. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened 
up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy 
flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the 
competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would 
not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the 
rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in 
town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and 
trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. 
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can 
prevent florist friars. 

10. And finally, there was a man who sent 10 different puns to 
friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. 
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

July 18, 2001

July 18, 2001