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A new intern is getting a tour of the hospital he will be working in. He walks past a room where a man is vigorously masturbating non-stop, and asks the doctor why the man was doing such a thing out in the open? The doctor replies, "Oh he has a medical condition where the sperm builds up quickly in his body, he has to masturbate constantly or he will explode." "Oh, I see," says the intern. They walk past another room where the intern sees a man laying on a stretcher getting a blowjob from a nurse. Again, he asks the doctor "What's up with that?" The doctor says, "Same condition, better medical plan."

HATE and GUILT "Imagine encouraging a child to participate in such 'twisted' rituals and worshiping of tortuous crucifixes and such like this from birth. No wonder we have so many hateful and sadistic people in our society." Brent Allsop "This whole Christian theology thing is that god came down to experience life through his son. Well, how's he experiencing life if he doesn't get laid? Give me a break. And why would he not get laid, as he created the apparatus in the first place?" Tori Amos "I got enough guilt to start my own religion." Tori Amos

"Our parents got divorced when we were kids and it was kind of cool. We got to go to divorce court with them. It was like a game show. My mom won the house and car. We're all excited. My dad got some luggage." Tom Arnold

IT'S A MAD WORLD "Penis envy"

SLAVERY and SEXISM "Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear." "Women should listen and learn quietly and submissively." "Christians who are slaves should give their masters full respect so that the name of God and his teaching will not be shamed.  If your master is a Christian, that is no excuse for being disrespectful. You should work all the harder because you are helping another believer by your efforts.  Teach these truths, Timothy, and encourage everyone to obey them." 1 Timothy 6:1-2 NLT "Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear.  Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ." Ephesians 6:5 NLT "Women should listen and learn quietly and submissively.  I do not let women teach men or have authority over them. Let them listen quietly.  For God made Adam first, and afterward he made Eve.  And it was the woman, not Adam, who was deceived by Satan, and sin was the result." 1 Timothy 2:11-15 NLT "As in all the churches of the holy ones, women should keep silent in the churches, for they are not allowed to speak, but should be subordinate, as even the law says.  But if they want to learn anything, they should ask their husbands at home.  For it is improper for a woman to speak in the church." 1 Corinthians 14:33-35 NAB