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The Chocobo War, Part 1
So, while all the generals were gone (off doing their own thing),
the chocobos revolted. They conquered half the known world,
pecking people to death. To avenge his kingdom, the retired
Paladin Alan returned to the north, but his army of Figaro
refugees (recall that the castle of Figaro was taken by Azala) and Edgar were...
Edgar: The Chocobos are on the charge again! The men are breaking ranks!
Alan: What do we do?
Nick: WE'RE ALL GONNA F%^*'N DIE!!!!!!!!
Chocobo: Cooc cooc (pecks Edgar to death)
Edgar: AIQQ*&WYH@ILQKWH%RPWQLECL#A*KJ*&%#*>IU$E&OI*YTOIUQY#932Q54IJR0
7594UG43BMNG*&OLJ$#NMWIURESKUY87GBKM............
Alan: Edgar? Oh no! Everyone, on the airship!
Nick: But weren't all airships destroyed in the Moogle War?
Alan: Shut up and get on!
So they get on the airship, but it turns out to be a figment of
Alan's imagination. Unfortunately, this doesn't become apparent
until the airship takes off, then it disappears and they all fall
back to the ground and are pecked to death by the chocobos.
So the chocobos advance again. Pecking themselves a mighty empire, where are our heroes when the world needs them?
Some place...
Me: Mog, I'll hogtie you and feed you to piranhas, I'll....
Mog: SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!
Some other place....
The Phantom Train stops, releasing the deceased to their new home.
Azala: Okay, in, get Kain, out again. Got it?
Schala: Umm...Okay.
Kaitlin: Fine.
Azala: All right, move out.
So the three head out into the afterlife. They quickly find Kain,
but he's under heavy guard.
Azala: Can we see the prisoner?
Guard: No.
Kaitlin: Why not?
Zeal: Only I can see him before the wedding.
Azala: What wedding?
Zeal: Kain is to be my queen...no...king, yeah, that's it.
All: *sigh*
Voice: Not if I can help it!
Cecil: Kain can only marry me!
All: WHAT!?!
Cecil: Umm...I meant...shoot, I need to get my vocab right. I
meant, Kain can't marry you.
Zeal: Darn. All right, kill the prisoner.
Azala: How can you kill him? He's already dead.
Zeal: Oh yeah, all right, bring the prisoner back to life.
Azala: That makes things easier.
Vicks: Sorry all, but I have direct orders to send this dragoon to
the boss.
Wedge: Yeah, he escaped once. That's a serious crime.
So Vicks and Wedge haul Kain away. Kain is imprisoned for 1000 years for attempted escape and impersonating Ronald Reagan.
---
TO BE CONTINUED
The Chocobo Revolution, Part 2
Questions? Comments? Praise? Flames? Address them to
the author, Eric Bowling!
Go to my FFML fanfic page, my main fanfic page, my Final Fantasy page, or
my main page
Send little ole me your comments! I'm big on typos, too, so if you spot one, let me know!
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