Name: Alice Ma
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Hi, as you can see, my name is Alice. I am 21 years-old and I'm currently in my third year at University of Manitoba. But I'm only 1 1/2 of my program...:P Previously, I said I was going to major in Microbiology..but then I changed my mind. I want to become a fashion designer! I have my future business all planned out...I've done a couple sketches of my own designs but if all else fails, I'll just work for some big fashion company like Gucci or somethin. It may or may not work out but it's worth a try since I've always liked entering into the fashion field. Also, I'm also in the Photo Club at U of Manitoba. I take lots of pictures, whatever that catches my eye, and develop them in the darkroom. Whether I succeed or fail, I guarantee I will try my best to make my mom and sister happy. |
I moved into a new two bedroom apartment with my mom and sister on Nov./99. I get my own room and I also help pay part of the rent with my mom. Before I moved in, I used to live by myself in a bachelor suite for 9 months. To tell u the truth, although you can sure get all the privacy and freedom you want, it kinda sucks living alone. I miss my mom's cooking...and it feels lonely at nights. Now I can get good dinner every night and have great 'sister talks' with my younger sis, Kay. Although there is a 6 year gap between us, she somehow understands me so well and she keeps my chin up! I LOVE YOU KAY!! In my family, it's just the three of us. My father passed away on April 14, 1996 of cancer. He had many health problems: diabetes, kidney transplant, high blood pressure, bladder cancer, liver cancer, and many more that he hasn't told me....and I'll never know. I think my dad is the smartest man and the best driver!! He only gave me two driving lessons and it was quite exciting. He once drove really really fast and we started spinning 360º two times! I was pretty freaked out but it was fun! I get really *impressed* if I knew someone who can drive just as good as him. But now that my dad has been gone for four years, I really *miss* him. I keep on getting the feeling of him following me everywhere. Sometimes it feels like he's still alive. When he died, I couldn't eat for three days and I just cried for a whole week. On the day of his funeral, I was afraid of looking at his corpse. I can't describe how he looked, but it gave me so many mixed feelings..all I could do was cry. I didn't say a single word on that day. I didn't even get the chance to talk to him before he died. My mom wouldn't let me and my sister go to the hospital because she wanted us to only have the good memories of him alive and not dying. I just watched the people take him away from our apartment and he died at the hospital 4 hours later. The wierd thing is when he died, he died on the forth month of the fourteeth day at the age of 44 in room 417. For the chinese, the number 4 is a very unlucky number. It means "death" in chinese. I'll just have to live on now without him and take care of my family. Everything depends on me now because I'm the oldest child and it gives me a lot of pressure... My whole life has totally changed. I used to be spoiled but now I've become more independent and learnt many things about the real world, from my mistakes, and I still continue to learn. And sorry to say this(especially to those who believe in God, but I still respect those who believe in God), I don't believe in God. There is no such thing as God because it is created by the human mind. Whenever you go through happy or sad times, don't blame it or thank god because you are responsible of your own actions whether if it was good or bad. If you want something, work hard for it....don't just sit there all depressed hoping for something good to come to you. So my point? Believe in yourself. Don't depend on others too much either because in the end, you'll end up with yourself. SUPER big hugs to all my friends(you know who you are) who were always there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to. Last but not least, is my mom who has been so strong ever since my dad passed away. There are times where I would just sit there and look at her, and smile thinking how great she is. And no matter what I do, I know my dad is always by my side supporting me! =^.^=
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I spend the rest of my time on school, the computer, working out at home, drawing, listening to all kinds of music, working, shopping, hanging out with my friends, and best of all is being with my family. Nevertheless, I still like to be alone at times to think about things. I try to enjoy my life as much as I can. I used to hide from my problems as much as I can to make my life easier for myself. But things just don't work out that way. I learnt that one should face what he/she feared and he/she will accomplish what he/she has to do. I like new things but sometimes I just want to stick with the old one because some things are made to last forever.
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OTHER FEELINGS:
I believe in LOVE and what love can do. Love is what messes a person's mind. Love makes a person's life complicated and confusing and the biggest challenge in this world is to find the right person to love and be certain that he/she will love you back. I personally think that *not everyone* will fall in love or find the "one".....but most importantly is that you enjoy being with that person and both are happy together. Don't base your life on relationships...learn to find and love yourself first before falling in love with anyone else. Find someone you like not only for who *they* are, but for who *you* are when you are with them. Despite of everything, I still think falling in love and being loved is the greatest thing in the world. | 
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MY NEEDS:
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Someone that would care for me and love me the way I am, someone that would be there when I need a hug...
SOME PRIVACY!!