Relena tip-toed into Heero's dorm room. It pays to be in charge of the school. That way you can get a copy of your crush's room key.
In the room were two beds. One had that, um, *guy* Duo Maxwell, and the other had her lovey. As she suspected, they were fast asleep. Now all she had to do is creep to Heero's bed and carry out her plan.
She grinned sneakily to herself. She couldn't fail this time. She knew exactly with bed Heero had, so she couldn't make a mistake when it came to that. All she had to do is kiss him and tell him she loved him. But not that sappy "Ai shite'ru" foolishness. She's much more refined and classy than that cheesy line. She will do it subtly, with finesse, in a language that that blue-eyed boy could understand.
She approached the right bed, her smile still in place when she saw the sleeping figure of her lovey underneath the blanket. The moonlight that shone through the window gave little light, but revealed this much to her.
She leaned in close and found the blanket covered his head completely.
The moon was covered a large, black cloud.
She uncovered her hero's face and searched gently for his lips. Once finding them, she gave him a big, awakening kiss.
The mouth underneath her mumbled in shock, but that was expected. When he was finally silent, she released him from her lingering kiss and softly murmured, "Suki da."
"SUKI DA!"
The moon came from behind the clouds and shone once again through the window.
Relena could have killed herself at that moment. Instead of Heero's cool eyes and scowl, she held Duo's violet eyes and shocked face in her hands.
"YOU LIKE WHO?" screamed Duo.
Relena stuttered in disbelief. She just kissed HIM?!?!?
"Keep it down over there," mumbled the all-too-familiar voice of the Wing Pilot on the other bed. Duo's bed. Wait.
"Heero?" Relena said, turning her head to the other bed.
Heero's blue eyes scowled at her. "What."
"But, you sleep here-... And Dou sleeps-..." Her mouth moved, but nothing coherent came out.
"Do you mind getting your hands off of me?" Duo asked gently.
Relena jumped away from the braided boy she just kissed.
"Whoa, what's wrong, Relena?" Duo asked concerned. "You shouldn't that way towards the one you love." He winked at her suggestively.
"Heero," Relena cried out, "make him stop."
"Your problem," was his cold reply as he turned over on the bed. "Now, keep it down, lovebirds. I have to get up early tomorrow."
~~~end
The three figures sneaked into the small house. It was day, so they were certain their victims weren't in the house. One, a male held a video camera while his partner, a woman, held a microphone. Both were in business suits, looking more like a tv crew than cat-burglars.
"Hey, did you say cat?" said the third figure, a feline on two paws.
"Be quiet," harshly whispered the woman as she opened the kitchen door. It was unlocked, much the future embarassment of those inside. The man lifted the camera to his shoulder, ready to press the record button. "Okay", he said, signaling to the woman to start.
"Hello everyone," she said in her brightest voice to the camera. "Today, we will be doing what we do best, and that is looking at what our favorite personalities wear under those tantalizing outfits they were. Today we are in a secret location, the current safehouse of the infamous Gundam boys, Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton..." She paused for a moment then turned to the feline, or rather producer, of the segment. "IS Trowa's name that?"
"Well, it has been reported that his real name's Triton something, but most know him as Trowa Barton," the feline said in a very knowing voice that he's used to using. He IS the brains of the operation, of course. "Let it be Trowa."
The woman cleared her voice. "Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, and Chang Wufei. Now, come and ride with the Underwear Partol!"
The man stopped recording at the statement and together the trio dashed upstairs to the rooms of the Gundam boys. They already knew where they were, since they have been stalking the place for a while now, much to the future shock of the pilots.
The three men entered the first room, reported to be the room of Yuy and Maxwell. Instantly, the woman went to one of the drawers. She found what she was looking for. Signaling the man, she began her commentary on the finds.
"Just like the rumors said, the pilot known as Heero Yuy does, in fact, have no underwear."
The man recorded the contents of the drawer, which was several pairs of spandex shorts, dutifully folded and placed with precision inside. The woman shifted some of the shorts around to give the camera a better glimpse of all the things inside when they found something rather... interesting...
She pulled out a white thong with some white down feathers on the front.
"What's that?" the man said, making sure that his voice wasn't picked up by the microphone.
"It seems that the Perfect Soldier has some strange tastes as to what he would wear as underwear, ne?" She spun the thong slowly in front of the camera before quickly putting it back underneath the black spandex.
Continuing with their mission, she searched for Maxwell's underwear drawer. Bingo.
"Once again, the rumors are true."
The man recorded the fields of smiley face boxers, in different designs and colors, thrown in haphazardly. Once again, she shifted the boxers around and found something equally interesting.
Out of the pile of boxers came a thong as well, this time a black one with black rabbit fur.
"God, wouldn't you just love looking at Heero and Duo with these thongs on?" she gushed. "This is the true purpose of the Underwear Patrol, to let you know what your favorite celebrities don't want you to know."
She did the same thing with the black thong that she did with the white one and together the trio went to the next room, Trowa's and Quatre's.
Once again, she went to the drawers and found, along with some juggling bean bags and half a clown mask, rows of white, folded briefs. The man recorded the contents.
"Well, Trowa isn't that interesting at all, is he?" She shifted through Trowa's things, but found nothing worth mentioning.
Hoping to have better luck with Quatre's underwear drawer, she moved on. She found silky, colorful boxers inside, along with something utterly fascinating. She didn't have to shift around this time, that's for sure.
The man recorded.
"Well, Quarte is a rather sick fellow, don't you think? And here WE thought he'll be the innocent one." The woman picked up a pair of leather shorts, terribly small, with a zipper in the front, just one of the many leather items in Quatre's drawer. "And what a difference compared to the silk boxers right beside it..."
The man recorded some more. The woman replaced the leather shorts and en mass, the trio went to the final room, Wufei's.
They opened the door, but what they found wasn't very nice or interesting at all.
"Had fun?" said a figure, who was petit and blond. Beside him were two other figures, one with a small, tight ponytail, the other tall and brunet.
The trio cringed. The pilots hadn't left at all!!!???!!!
"Yeah, we wanna know," said a voice from behind them. They turned and cowered even more when they found the other two pilots.
"We will not let this injustice pass!" cried out the one with the ponytail as he pulled out a katana. He was joined by two guns, a detonation switch, and a bazooka.
The trio cried out in utter terror as the one with short dark hair pressed the switch, sending them flying through the roof and into the air.
"I'll say that's a wrap..." said the feline.
"Well, at least the film survived," said the man. Just as the words left his lips, the camera popped open, exposing and damaging the film.
"I told you to get a digital camera!" cried out the feline.
"Well, until next time...," said the woman, cuing the closing statements.
"The Underwear Patrol's blasting off again..." said the trio together as they sailed towards the horizon.
~~~~end
Warnings: OOC, three/four different stereotypes (they're in the song, damn it!), a couple of badly-spelled Spanish words, a couple of typos in English as well, no translations, repetition...
[Heero wakes up in an empty room. Outside it's almost 15 o'clock. Duo's missing.
The phone beside him rings. He answered and thus, someone asks him the all-important question.]
Heero: Oje brotha, y Duo?
[Outside, a group of Maguanacs begins singing the same phrase over and over, never realizing how quickly the refrain gets annoying.]
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[After hanging up the phone, he goes to bother Trowa to confirm the statement.]
Heero: Y Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[He tries again.]
Heero (in a deeper voice): Y Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Seeing the same result, he heads outside, only to hear that the Maguanacs are still singing that damned phrase. Trying to avoid it, he accidentally bumped into Quatre.]
Quatre: Where's Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Quatre, a bit puzzled by the look of pain on Heero's face, went back to the townhouse they were sharing. He was obviously unaffected by the singing Maguanacs and went to Trowa.]
Quatre (a -very- flaming fag-like voice): Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Heero, still able to hear the Maguanacs, bumped into another person, Howard.]
Howard (in a big hurry): Yo, Heero, have you seen Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Howard looked at the boy with a confused look behind those ridiculous shades he was wearing. In the truck behind him, one of his techs/assistants popped his head out and poked him for attention.]
Techie (sobbing): Y Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Pagan, walking Relena's poodle, all decked out in pink bows and stuff, walked up to Howard and the techie. In Pagan's hand was a letter.]
Poodle: Arf arf.
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Pagan, grateful for the information, continued his walk with the poodle. Along the way, they passed some dirty-looking mut.]
Mut: Bow wow wow wow
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[The two dogs, now that they passed along this information, went their separate ways.
On the other side of the street, Relena and Dorothy were walking down the street, most likely looking for cute boys. Relena stopped a street sweeper that was a friend of Duo's and asked that simple question.]
Relena: Oje, where's Duo?
[He extends an open palm, as if to say that if the rich girl pays, he'll talk. She slaps the hand down in a makeshift lo-five.]
Solo (resigned): I'm broke.
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Ignoring Relena and Solo, Dorothy goes into one of the shops. It was a Chinese fast food joint and approached the guy behind the clear plastic shield.]
Dorothy: Where's Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Dorothy dashes outside to inform Relena, past the two women waiting for some take out with babies bouncing on their knees. The two women were gabbing, ignoring the cute baby talk coming from their respective children.]
Baby #1: Gaa gaa goo goo
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Into the shop comes Meiran. Through a door to the side of where the plastic-shielded counter, she entered the back and talked to her husband.]
Meiran: Chin cho chia
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[At that moment, an unnamed Latina was being dragged into the street to be shot, but most ignored her.
Zechs is walking down the street and sees a sobbing Howard. He places a consoling hand on the technician's shoulder.]
Zechs: Where's Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Two old men sat on the ground, moving their heads to the Maquanacs' chanting.]
Old Man #1 (through missing teeth): ^babble^
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Relena, now satisfied in putting Solo in his place (how DARE he ask for money from her!), she turned to Dorothy with bright doe eyes.]
Relena: Duo...
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Relena's eyes grew bright, but then her brow scrunched up. Heero's all to herself now, but Pagan needed to give that letter to you-know-who.
Thinking of what to do, she saw Zechs and Howard across the street, both sobbing like idiots. Up above her head, two people cried out to each other.]
Iria: Duo, brotha-
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Rashid brings out sodas for the exhausted Maguanacs as they took a break. Everyone seems to be either enjoying or impassive to their singing.]
Rashid: Con la unica banda que toca asta las 15. Asta la 15.
[The Maguanacs finished their drinks.]
Rashid: Y sique el mambo. Ahi... Y esa...
[Father Maxwell walked up to the door of the townhouse Duo was staying at when the door was thrown open and out came Duo's stuff and Trowa.]
Father Maxwell: Bendito, y Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Trowa and Quatre quickly set up a yard sale of all of Duo's stuff. The radio. The TV. His lifetime supply of Head and Shoulders. All of it was on sale.
Une, after receiving a sobbing message from Zechs and seeing all this stuff for sale outside Duo's house, walks up to Father Maxwell.]
Une: Ande diablo, y Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[The locals (and visitors) began to crowd around the table set up with Duo's stuff. Zechs gingerly picked up one of Duo's shirts and took a whiff. Relena whacked Zechs and grabbed the shirt, but it was quickly taken from her by Hilde.]
Hilde: Y Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Dorothy paid a buck for the shirt and dashed home with her new possession and almost bumped into Une as she looked over a used, but fairly decent, brush.
After receiving a call from a concerned neighbor about all the traffic being blocked, two mounted policemen approached.]
Horse #1: ^neigh^
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[The two mounted cops approached the crowd. One leaned over to hear what the weeping Howard had to say.]
Cop #2 (Alex): ^whistle^
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Heero, realizing that he wouldn't be able to escape the terrible refrain of the Maguanacs, decided to call Dr. J. His housemates' behavior is bothering him, and now that they were selling Duo's stuff, he couldn't help but wonder if what they said was true.]
Heero: Jay, Duo.
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[God, even Dr. J! Dailing up G, he hoped the mushroom-top knew a bit more.]
Heero: Gago, y duo
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[No help there either. Trying his best to drown out the sound of the Maquanacs, he looked around and noticed that no one else was affected by the tiresome refrain.
Slipping into a bar, he saw Zechs, er, Milliardo nursing some sort of strong drink at the bar just because he couldn't get Duo's shirt, cross, or even spare hair tie.
The barkeep looked at the pitiful guy at the bar as she refilled the glass.]
Noin: Borrachito, y Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Trieze also received a sob-filled message from Zechs and, after seeing the crowd at the Duo yard sale, he entered the Chinese take out place and got Wufei's attention.]
Trieze: Indigno, y Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Among the eager shoppers of Duo-possessions was a certain former US president. Sally, who was also new to the scene, approached.]
Sally: Clinton, y Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[Une's phone began to ring. She quickly answered and heard Mariemaia on the other end.]
Mariemaia (rather rudely, I might add): Palagero? Duo.
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[As Quatre counted the money that was coming in, Trowa made sure all those people did not steal the precious Duo-possessions. Catherine, a bit slow in the head today, asks that inevitable question.]
Catherine: Trowa, y Duo?
Maguanacs: Duo se fue. Duo se fue. Duo se fue.
[As the clock struck 15, the Maquanacs stopped singing and dispersed. At least they were good on their promise.
All of a sudden, Duo emerged from the corner store. Everyone gasped.]
Heero: I thought you left!
~~~~~end~~~~~
They heard it coming, but none of them did anything when Duo, is a fit of boredom, stormed in and instantly grabbed Heero's arm.
"Heero," he cooed. "Come on. Let's have sex."
"Duo..." Heero did not bother to look up from what he was doing on that infernal laptop of his.
"Come on! I have to do something, or I'll just die!" Duo's smile grew a bit mischievous. "Would you do the honors of killing me?"
"Hn."
"Figures. Come on!" With that, Duo began to take action and started yanking on Heero's arm.
Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa could only watch.
"Go away," Heero warned.
"But I want sex!"
"I'll go!"
Everyone turned to see one beaming Quatre extend his hand to the bored Shinigami. "I'll have sex with you."
Duo literally leapt for joy and into Quatre's arms. "Ooh, thank you thank you thank you thank you..." He rubbed his nose into Quatre's hair before stopping and pointing a decisive finger at the blonde. "You'll be uke."
"Now hold on one minute," Wufei protested.
"Duo's Mine," Heero jealously interjected into the situation at the same time as Wufei's own little complaint. The two pilots gave each other a glare before focusing on Quatre.
"What?" Quatre asked innocently as Duo backed away.
"You know exactly 'what'," Wufei spat.
"Like you have any say in the matter," Heero spat as well.
"You want to try me, Spandex Boy?" Wufei smirked. "Bring it on."
"I'm going to kill you," Heero snarled.
Wufei pointed a warning finger at Quatre. "And you're next, Blondie."
"Blondie!!??!!" Quatre shrieked. Turning to Trowa, he asked in an incredulous voice, "Did you hear what he called..."
Spandex and Justice turned around and saw Trowa was missing. Also missing was Duo.
Upstairs, Duo giggled.
"Are you bored?"
"I'm not going to be now!"
~~~end
Duo grinned to himself as his glue- and glitter-covered fingertips handled his handwork with gentle caution. He didn't want them to go to waste after all the damn work he went through to make them in the first place. Only four, yeah, but that was all he needed when he goes to his clients with these brilliant little gems.
"What are you doing?" Hilde asked, sitting herself next to the grinning fool as he contemplated over the Valentine cards he had made. They were made from red construction paper, with pieces of paper doilies and colorful glitter glued on the front. She was a bit surprised the Duo didn't use dry macaroni as well.
"Making V-Day cards." He lifted one and handed it to her to read. "For you."
"Aw, thanks, Duo!" She cheerfully took the card and opened it. Inside, written in the fanciest kiddie script that Duo could muster, was this phrase:
Hilde stared at the words in disbelief. "Do the other three say the same thing?" she was able to mumble when her voice came back to her.
"Nah, girl. Pleeze. I am an equal-opportunity card maker!" Duo boasted as he cleaned his sticky fingers in the sink. "Go ahead and read the others if you wanted!"
She did, but she tried to keep a composed face when she read the others.
"Duo?"
"Yeah?" He looked at Hilde, his content little grin still in place.
"You really think Hallmark's will buy these?"
"Who needs Hallmark's when I came made a ton of money selling these to everyone we know!"
~~~end
Notes: I rarely write about Hilde, so... Also the cards were for: hetero guy to girl, homo guy to guy, hetero girl to guy, homo girl to girl.
I caught sight of the long chestnut hair before anything else. The sun was warm… almost inviting… the flowers covered the cool earth with spectacular color. It was summer…
The nymph turned and gave me the most beautiful smile, the kind of smile that could melt the harshest, oldest ice… I should know… I was that ice, once…
He… she… I wasn't certain… but his beauty was never created to be confined by such narrow categories as sex or age… He was ageless beauty… ageless perfection… ageless…
He had seen me before, many times, in this same field of wild flowers the color of his eyes… eyes that always made me cry for they shone with childlike wonder… with time-battered wisdom… with longing and happiness and unattainable immortality…
He took my hand and took me through the wild grasses, our feet almost floating over the fragile blossoms… I followed him, only close enough to feel the tips of his hair stroke my face, my cheeks… His hand was so tender within my own… I would die a thousand times if I could just hold his hand forever…
He was always loud, happy… always trying to break the silence, but one day, I will tell him that he doesn't need to do that for me… I would be content just holding the nymph's soft hand…
We stopped in the middle of the field… The nymph turned around and looked at me for a moment, his smile an invisible caress… A comfortable silence surrounded us…
He leaned in and gave me a chaste, loving kiss… I touch his cream skin… his cheek… a strand of his feather-soft hair…
We collapsed unto the earth as one, with him wrapped in my arms… my hands getting lost in his thick hair… Without thinking much of it, I plucked a few delicate blooms and placed them in the nymph's hair…
I smiled… He looked at me with those bright, expressive eyes and smiled back…
With the gentlest of hands, I braided the thick hair, placing here and there in the weave several of the small blossoms… blossoms the color of his eyes… He sighed and was silent, almost in a trance by my touch…
A soothing peace settled around us and stayed long after the sunset…
~~~~~
"Hey, man! Wake up!"
I looked up and saw the nymph looking down upon me, letting me lose myself in his lovely eyes… Then I realized… that it was nothing more than…
"Duo… what is it?"
"Man, you've been asleep for the longest time… I thought you died or something…"
Duo continued to talk, trying to fill the room, the day, the air, and the waxing sunlight with as much noise as he could produce. He talked about everything and nothing, giving his voice the power to only break the silence, to make himself feel at ease.
I looked at him, smiled, and said nothing, content only in hearing his voice, in looking at his hair, and wondering if it would look just as entrancing if it was covered in blossoms the color of his eyes…
He turned and looked at me, allowing the silence to briefly descend into the room on supple wings. "What's wrong, Trowa?" His voice was delicate, hoping not to startle the tranquility between us.
My tiny smile slipped a bit and I turned away from his gaze, his eyes the color of fragile blossoms in a field on a summer day. "Nothing…"
~~~end
"This is not fair this is not fair this is not fair this is not fair this is not fair this is not fair…"
Duo muttered to himself over and over again as he tried to move inside his tiny confinement. He banged his head on the rough, hard surface he was encased in as his hands tried to find some sort of weakness in the bumpy structure. Every once in a while, he cried out in frustration, slamming his fists and stomping his feet on the restrictive surface, screaming out an occasional curse word or ten as he tried for the nth time to get free.
Inside the safe house, the other four pilots listened with amused smiles on their lips as Duo struggled in his imprisonment.
"It's truly a shame, but he did bring it on himself," Quatre said, taking a sip of tea as he stood next to the window.
"At least he'll stay out of everyone's hair for a while," Wufei commented as he leaned on the wall, examining his sword.
Trowa nodded once and said nothing from his spot on the couch.
"Hn." Heero had that decisive little smirk on his lips as he stared out the window.
"Heero!" Duo cried out in only a fraction of his loudest voice from inside his confinement and outside the house. "If you don't get me out of here, I swear that I'll make sure Relena finds your ass!"
A bit of panic formed in Heero's expression before his natural scowl reappeared. Considering his options, Heero went to the back of the house and returned with a crowbar.
"How dishonorable… Being afraid of a mere woman." Wufei sheathed his weapon and walked upstairs.
"Perhaps it was about time he came out of his shell." Quatre stayed by the window. He watched as Heero, armed only with the crowbar, approached the giant walnut shell on the lawn that shook back and forth as its helpless, ranting prisoner continued his threats of pink limos, unfulfilled death threats, and a certain Gundam pilot with dark hair.
~~~end
Heero and Duo were sharing their buttered croissants in that overly affectionate way when there was a knock on the door.
Duo gave Heero a confused look. "Who's that at this hour?"
Heero smirked. "It's only 10:30 in the morning."
"So? That's still too early for people to come askin' for us."
Heero placed a light kiss on Duo's nose and rose from the kitchen table. "I'll see who it is." And send them packing, he added quietly.
Duo grinned. "Good. Distractions are annoying."
Heero smirked once more, catching Duo's mischievous smile before heading to the front door.
When he opened it, he got a terrible shock. On the other side of the door, was the well-dressed Relena Dorlain (as if she's usually in rags or something, right?) with a child in her arms and a large bag, surely filled with diapers and bottles, slung over her shoulder. She held a grim look on her lips, yet her eyes were laughing at her cleverness.
"Oh Heero, I have news for you."
Heero glared. "What."
Inside, Duo called out, "Heero, who is it?"
Heero's voice was cold, indifferent to the fact. "Relena."
Relena flinched for a moment before continuing with her plan. "Heero." She lifted the bundle in her arms towards him, as if presenting to the Gundam pilot the most wondrous of rewards. "This your son." She pulled back the blankets that where covering the baby's face. She had noticed that, at the same time of her unveiling, Duo appeared and was looking over Heero's shoulder, rather interested in what all the commotion was about. As she suspected, both of their eyes went wide. "Our son."
Heero stared at the baby in disbelief. Behind him, Duo tried desperately not to laugh.
"See, Heero? He looks just like you." Her eyes glimmered with hope. "Please, come with me and together we can be a happy family for -our- son."
In her arms, there was a baby, and the small creature did look like Heero… but only an idiot couldn't see that someone had put a mask with a black-and-white picture of Heero Yuy, hair and all, on the cooing baby's countenance.
"Relena, are you some kind of idiot?" Duo was able to say without laughing in her face like he should have from the beginning.
"Excuse me, but I am not the idiot here, Maxwell." She turned to Heero. "See, Heero? He has that glare of yours, and he couldn't have gotten that wild tuff of hair from anyone else, you know."
"We never had sex, Relena."
"Don't deny the truth, Yuy. You and I belong together and this child proves it."
Unable to take any more of this sick, sick joke, Heero scowled and turned back into the house. "Go away, Relena." With that, the door was slammed on her face. Inside, Duo's laughter filled the house.
Angered, Relena turned on her heels and walked to her car, where Dorothy was waiting. She opened the passenger-side door and stepped into the small vehicle.
"And you really believed that would work," Dorothy smirked as Relena strapped herself. "And to think, Heero Yuy -isn't- a moron."
Relena glared at her for moment before turning her attentions to the cooing baby in her arms. She removed its mask and looked down upon the giggling baby boy. His constant grin and bright blue-violet eyes were filled with unadulterated joy.
Relena frowned despite being affected by the small child's displays of happiness. "Even the most incredible theories should be tested."
~~~end
Quatre's hands tightened almost tearing his newspaper to bits. Of course, it would have been the Arab media that woul place blame on the Arab media for helping their team lose. The morons. (1)
Oh well. There's always next time. But how could Saudi Arabia lose all three games???
Wufei moped into the bathroom, his sad, heavy head moving this way and that for a moment before grabbing the box of tissues and making his way back to the living room. On TV, the local sports anchor was going through the results of the latest game China's team has lost.
"How dishonorable," he whimpered as he raised a tissue to his nose and blew into it. "How utterly shameful. Losing all three games..." He weeped into his tisues, ashamed for his team.
But, at least he didn't try to commit suicide. (2)
Trowa was in such an ugly mood, no wonder the lions were keeping their distance. Even Catherine's soup was not spared from the wrath in his eyes.
"Seriously, Trowa," Catherine said as she drank her coffee. "It's isn't that bad. I mean, I didn't use cayenne pepper this time, at least."
"It isn't that."
"Oh God, not that again." She sighed in frustration. "Get over it. France will be back next time."
"It's so terrible, losing the first match."
"There'll be other World Cups."
Duo looked just a bit ridiculous when he came into work on Friday, with a plush, Uncle Sam tophat on his head and a soccer jersey instead of the usual Casual Friday ensemble.
"Guess who won last night!" he cried on the top of his lungs as he made his way to his cubicle somewhere in the middle of the maze.
"Who, U.S.?" someone replied, probably Sophia from two cubicles over. (3)
"Nope, Poland, but we advance anyway!" he answered back with a big whoop as he threw his hands up in the air in celebration, but nobody cares because 'soccer' sucks anyway. (4)
Heero was grinning as he climbed up the street sign. All around him, people his age were cheering and clapping. Cries of 'Nippon, Nippon!' filled the air as hundreds of people take to the streets. (5)
The first World Cup Japan has won a Game. The first World Cup Japan had even scored a goal. Last time, their asses were whooped, but now... (6)
Heero made it to the top and sat rather precariously on the pole. As people pointed, stared and cheered for him as they cheered for Nippon, he waved his hands for some silence. As the crowd shushed, he took off his Inamoto jersey and draped it over his shoulder. (7)
At that sight of his naked chest, people began to cheer. Cries of 'More, more!' was heard as Heero carefully stood up on the pole and lowered his shorts to his knees.
The cries escalated as Heero teased them, waving his finger around. 'No, no, no.' He leaned back on the pole for some support as he slowly edged his boxers' waistline down. Slowly, a puff of dark hair was revealed.
He took his jersey and rather tauntingly draped it over his waist, covering the little puff of hair as he pulled his boxers down some more.
People kept cries out to see it, to see something as Heero rubbed himself ever so slightly with the soccer jersey.
Of course, that was the moment when the cops came to arrest his indecent exposure ass. Hope he doesn't have to see the match between Japan and Turkey at the police station. (8)
~end
Notes:
Duo thumbed absentmindedly through his newspaper, the cheap daily, as he sat on a lonely porch. Squinting his eyes against the too-bright sun, he looked towards the west. Towards the east. Waiting. Straight ahead. Back to the newspaper.
He was supposed to have shown up a half-hour ago, Duo thought somewhat bitterly, his thoughts nowhere near absorbing the world news on page 3. He's just running a little late, he tried to justify, even as his hand reached for the cell phone in his pocket. He pulled it out, checking with a press of a button if anyone has tried to call him since the last time he checked two minutes ago.
No.
He reluctantly pocketed the cell phone once more when he heard it.
A small crack of thunder.
He looked up, wondering it is was yet another sudden, flash-flooding, thunder-and-lighting summer storm, but only a too-bright pale blue sky was to be found.
Another small crack of thunder.
He looked east. He looked west. He looked straight ahead.
He saw a small puff of black cloud, hovering ominously just below the height of the streetlights. A solitary puff of black summer thunderstorm, completely with tiny lightning bolts and small cracks of thunder.
Underneath the black storm cloud, an equally black umbrella was open in an attempt to help its owner stay dry underneath the miniature typhoon pouring out of the cloud.
Duo stared, his eyes squinting in the too-bright sunlight, as the soggy figure underneath the black umbrella and its companion black storm crossed the street towards him. "Sorry I'm late," he said, barely showing his face from underneath the umbrella. "I had to take the bus."
"Bad day, huh, Quatre." Duo stated simply as he folded his newspaper up and joined Quatre underneath the umbrella.
"The Worst," was Quatre's confirmation, a pale little smile on his face in spite of the rain. He held the umbrella high as they began to walk down South Street.
~end
Please send me comments at jezebel_17@hotmail.com
Notes: The song is 'Maria se Fue' (Maria left) from Oro Solido (or, en ingles, Solid Gold), who claim to play until the 15th hour. Everyone says pretty much the same thing, over and over... and over again...
???: Se fue!
Trowa: Se fue.
Trowa (in a deeper voice): Se fue.
Heero: He left.
Trowa (in a similar voice): Ai, se fue.
Heero: He left.
Howard (outraged): What!
Howard (also weeping): Se fue, se fue.
Pagan: Duo
Techie (for Howard, much calmer now): Se fue.
Poodle: Yelp yelp!
Poodle: Arf arf!
Street sweeper (Solo): I don't know, I don't know...
Wufei: He left.
Dorothy (upset): Ai!
Baby #2: Goo goo
Wufei: Gon chan
Howard (through sobs): Oh, he left.
Old Man #2 (also incoherently): ^babble and laughter^
Dorothy: He left...
Quatre: Se fue!
Trowa: Chacho, se fue
Father Maxwell: U-oh.
Quatre (answering for Father Maxwell, who whacked Une upside the head for cursing): Ah-hah, se fue se fue.
Dorothy (who snatched the shirt from her): Se fue, orale!
Horse #2: ^neigh neigh^
Cop #1 (Meuller): ^whistle^
Dr. J: Se fue.
Prof. G (stutterring): Qu-qu-qu-qu-qu- que se fue!
Milliardo (drunk): -hic- -hic- ...se fue...
Wufei (indignant): No me jodas! Se fue
Clinton: I don't know...
Une: Se fue.
Trowa (indignant as well, it seems): Se fue, dejeme en pas.
Duo: I was only went out for milk. (looks around) Hey. Why are you guys selling my stuff?
'Don't worry, baby. I'm on the pill. Be my V.'
'This V-day, want me to show that this tongue is good for something other than talking?'
Head back home...
Or sign the guestbook instead...
Trust me, I'll appreciate it big time.