Dialogue in [ ] is in Chinese.

				NEKO-PHILIA
			by Scott K. Jamison
		(Standard Takahashi disclaimer.)
				Part 3

	Nabiki looked at Ranma with a very intent gaze.
	"Are you aware of what you just said?"
	"I'm not marrying Shampoo, isn't that what I said?"
	"While holding her?"
	"Oh man, did I really?  I'm sorry, Shampoo, I wasn't thinking.  
Forgive me?"
	Shampoo mewed.  That was better.  Still, Ranma seemed a little 
off, somehow.
	Nabiki took a deep breath.  "Anyways, I thought you might be in 
the market for some pictures."  She spread out a selection of snapshots 
of Shampoo, some quite risque.  Shampoo was surprised by those; not that 
she had much body modesty, but she didn't remember Nabiki being around to 
take them.
	"Hmm...these two."
	"400 yen, please."
	"But that's all I--done."
	Both shots were of Shampoo in cat form, and actually showed 
Nabiki's photography skills better than some of the skin shots, which had 
had to be taken on the wing.  Ranma taped them up on a wall, next to one 
of Akane sticking out her tongue and another of the whole gang (except 
Nabiki) on one of their jaunts.
	"What shall we do now, Shampoo?  I know, let's make you a bed!"
	An hour later, a cardboard box, some old rags, a ball of Kasumi's 
yarn and some squeaky toys had been turned into a comfortable-looking 
nest, with "Shampoo" crudely lettered on the side.
	"Maybe we should get you a litter box tomorrow, too."
	This is getting out of hand, decided Shampoo.  I'm not going to 
stay in cat form forever, you know.
	Genma entered.  "Bath's open, boy." with just a bit of emphasis 
on the word boy.
	"Thanks, Pops.  Oh no, Shampoo, you stay right here.  We don't 
want any of that nasty hot water getting on you."  Great, *now* he 
remembers!
	Ranma's father put the back of his hand on the transformed boy's 
forehead.  "Are you feeling all right?"
	"Sure, Pops.  Geez, adopt one little pet, and everyone starts 
acting like you're nuts."
	Pet?  That's how he thinks of me?  Shampoo growled.
	She tried to get to the bath, but Ranma was too fast for her.  He 
emerged in male for, scooped her up again, and said, "Time for us to get 
some shut-eye.  Try out your new bed."
	He was soon fast asleep, and she hopped out of the box to curl up 
next to him.  Ranma soon had an arm over her, and then embraced the cat.
	His hug was tight enough to make breathing difficult.  Shampoo 
had to struggle around until she found a comfortable position.  So she 
was still awake when Ranma began to dream.
	"Shampoo is so cute..." he murmured.
	Now this is more like it!
	"I love cats...maybe Akane...cuter as a cat?...Don't want...get 
married...have my cats...Here, Akane, Shampoo, Ukyou...."
	Great.  Even in his dreams, he can't make up his mind.
	"All such pretty kitties...Forever and ever..." his voice faded 
off as he went deeper into sleep.
	Shampoo finally drifted off herself.  In her dreams, she was 
stuck in cat form, and had to compete with dozens of other cats, 
including one with short black fur, and a brown-furred one with a spatula 
tied to its back, for Ranma's attention.  They each only got a moment's 
petting, and then it was on to the next cat and the next and on and on...
	Shampoo awoke with a yowl.  That isn't the future I want at all!  
I've got to get out of here!  She slipped away from the still fast-asleep 
Ranma, and pushed the door (fortunately already cracked) open.  But all 
the doors and windows to the outside were firmly shut, and in cat form, 
she didn't have the strength to burst through walls.
	Only one other bedroom door wasn't quite closed, so she could 
squeeze in.  Oh, terrific.  Akane's room.  Well, any port in a storm.
	Shampoo jumped up on her rival's bed.  Hard to believe this 
peaceful sleeper was such a volcano when awake.  And she was going to 
rouse the volcano.  She jumped up and down on Akane's chest a few times.
	"Shn-grk!  P-chan...izzat you?  Shampoo!  Grr!"  Akane sat up, 
throwing the cat back, and grabbed her shinai.
	Shampoo put a paw to her mouth and hissed for quiet.
	"What are you doing here?  I thought you'd moved in with that no 
good, perverted, insensitive--"
	"Mew.  Meow miaow meow."
	"Why am I asking a cat anything?  You can't talk.  Actually, I 
like you better that way."
	"Fsst!  Meow!  Mew!"  Shampoo made tilting motions with her 
forepaws, trying to convey a kettle being poured.
	"You want to wrestle?  Fine!  I'll bet you aren't nearly as 
strong at that size!"
	"Mew!"  Shampoo scratched the bedpost.
	"Why you destructive little..."  Akane looked at the scratches, 
three wavy lines, like water..."You want hot water!"  She got out of bed 
and led the way to the kitchen.
	"I'm surprised you're trusting me with this.  Ranma always says I 
can't even boil water."  Fortunately, it didn't require actual boiling to 
make the water hot enough, and Shampoo stood up in all her human glory.
        [Thankyou thankyou thankyou!]
	"Slow down, Shampoo.  I can't understand you."
	"Shampoo thank Akane.  Must go!"  She pulled open the door and 
ran out.  She paused at her bicycle only long enough to pull on a pair of 
trousers from the clothing bundle, then hopped on and pedaled for dear life.
	In the pre-dawn light, the newspaper boy got a glimpse of topless 
cyclist, though it was blurry enough that he couldn't be absolutely sure.
	Shampoo crashed through the wall of the Nekohanten, waking 
Mousse.  His weapons came snaking towards her, and she barely evaded them.
	"Halt, intruder!  Show yourself, or--"
        [Mousse, you idiot!  It's me!]
        [Oh, Shampoo, you've returned!  Did that beast Saotome injure 
you?]  He flipped on his glasses.  [Whoa mama!]
        Shampoo sucker-punched him.  [Great-Grandmother, are you up?]
        [Yes, dear, though I could have done with a bit more beauty 
sleep.  Oh my, you didn't chicken out halfway through, did you?] asked 
Cologne, as she noted Shampoo's state of undress.
        [Not exactly.  Ranma wants me now, but not the right way.]  
Shampoo described what she'd done, and the apparent consequences.
        [Hmm, well, an "A" for initiative and ingeniousness.  But you 
didn't read the next scroll, did you?]
        [Next scroll?  It didn't say "to be continued" or anything.  I 
swear, indexes on all our books, first thing!]
        [Yes, well, the next scroll explains that the anti-phobia potion 
starts out by merely cancelling the fear, then slowly increases in 
strength over the next 48 hours, replacing the phobia with a philia, an 
affection rather than a fear.  From what you've described, the potion was 
too strong to begin with, so it's been acting faster and more powerfully, 
creating the mental block and personality shifts.]
        [But after 48 hours, it wears off?]
        [No, after that time, the effects become irreversible.  And 
judging by how strong you made the potion, the groom will become totally 
obsessed by cats, especially your cursed form since he imprinted on it, 
to the exclusion of all else, including sex and food.]
        [That's not good, is it?]
        [From our perspective, no, although he'll be deleriously happy 
right up until he starves to death, provided there's a cat in the vicinity.]
        [*gulp*  So I should give him the antidote right away, huh?]
        [There is no antidote.]
        [But--]
        [The effect can be reversed by--]
	#CRASH# Another hole opened in the wall.  It was Ranma, and he 
looked...crazed.
	"Where is my Shampoo?"
	Mousse staggered back to his feet.
	"You shall not have her!"
	"Out of my way, duck-boy."  Ranma gave a casual wave of his hand, 
and Mousse's robes exploded into confetti.
	The cat-fist!  But Ranma can only access it when his fear of 
cats drives him berserk.  For him to use it consciously...
	"Eagle's Claw!"  The concealed blades in Mousse's sandals popped 
out as he dive-kicked Ranma.  The pig-tailed boy snatched his attacker by 
an ankle and smashed him into a support beam.  he hadn't even looked at 
Mousse.
        [Uh oh.]
	"I want Shampoo!"
	"Here Shampoo, Ranma.  Husband happy now?"
	"Not you, stupid girl!  I want *my* Shampoo!  My pretty 
kitty-cat!  Give her to me!"  He shook her violently.
	"Aiyah!  Hurt Shampoo!  Let go!"
        [He's too far gone!  The mental block keeps him from realizing 
the connection!  There's only one chance!  Give him what he wants.]
        [Say what?]
        [Transform!  Quickly!]
	"Where is my Shampoo?  Tell me or I'll--"  Ranma was glowing, and dust 
motes in a meter radius of him ceased to exist.  A buildup of ki like that 
could be very dangerous.
	"Shampoo, ah, here soon.  Ranma let go, she come."
	Ranma let go.
	Shampoo leapt for the fire bucket and upended it.  Ranma pounced 
on her, making her feel more like a mouse than a cat.
	"Oh, Shampoo, I missed you so much!  I'm never going to let you 
go again.  I'm going to hug and cuddle and love you forever and ever!"
	"Mew!"  Save me, Great-grandmother!  My ribs are cracking! 
	"And I saw this boutique on the way with the cutest cat wallpaper 
for our room and..."
        [Now, Shampoo, you must attack!]
	"Miaou?"
        [Strike with fang and claw!  Draw blood!]
	But I can't hurt Ranma.  I love him...
	"And then I'll buy those cat pajamas and..."
        [He'll die if you don't!  Attack!]
	"Now if I can just convince Akane to take a dip in the Nekoniichaun..."
	Forgive me, husband, she thought, as she bit his nose, then 
clawed his arm.
	"Ow!  What'd you do that for?"
	Shampoo leapt and scratched his neck.  Ranma slapped a hand 
there, and his palm was slick with blood.
	"You...hurt me.  You're..a...cat.  Cats are...scary.  Get away 
from me!  AAUUGH!"  He turned and ran away.
	Shampoo's eyes burned with unshed tears.
        [Amazingly simple, really.  The potion's power is strong, but 
brittle.  The effects can be reversed by reminding the patient exactly 
why he was afraid in the first place.  Provided of course you can do it 
in time.] said Cologne as she poured the kettle.
        [So we're right back where we started?]
        [More or less.  But I am very impressed by how far you got on 
your own.  A little more training, and we'll have that wedding yet!  Now 
see if you can revive Mousse.  There are repairs to be done.]
	A bit later, Shampoo sat by the restaurant window, feeling blue.  
Ranma ran by, pursued by opponents.
	"Hey, Saotome, check out my cat-apult!"
	"Want to go sailing in my new boat?  It's a cat-amaran!"
	"Yaagh!"
	"I think he's gone cat-atonic!  Hahaha!"
	She tried to comfort herself.  Obviously, the potion had messed 
up Ranma's mind worse than I'd thought.  How he thought of my cat 
form must be how he thinks of my human form when he's normal.  Well, 
maybe not that fanatical. He just can't show it because Akane would beat 
on him even worse.  Yes, that has to be it.
	The voices faded.  Shampoo sighed.
	"Excuse me, but can you direct me to the Tendou Dojo?"
	Ryouga was standing in the doorway.
	"Nihao, Ryouga.  Come in, Shampoo bring ramen."
	"But I have to get--"
	"Ryouga and Shampoo have more in common than you think."
	"um..."
	She brought out food.
	"Ryouga tired just being pet to Akane, yes?  Shampoo maybe 
have plan..."

			THE END
		
	Sorry, Shampoo fans, but it looks like she didn't get Ranma this 
time either...  Still, tomorrow is another day, and maybe another fanfic 
will go her way.  Also, my apologies to those of you who were really 
hoping for a lemon :-)
	Like many of my stories, this one started with the title, and 
went from there.  Some inspiration was drawn from "Cat's Cradle" by 
Benares.  This was an especially unusual story for me as I tried to make 
it possible to have happened within the series as written...
	C&C as always welcome at majks@cyberx.com  !v

SKJAM!
"Little did I realize that morning as I unlocked my post office box that 
I would shortly by transported to the Takahashiverse, where I would 
defeat Ranma in martial arts combat, bag all three Tendou sisters, and 
gain godlike powers before supper..." from _Confessions of a Modest Otaku_

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