RANMA 'N' ROLL
			by Scott K. Jamison
(Note:  Ranma 1/2 and its characters were created by Rumiko Takahashi and 
NA rights are held by Viz Communications.  MegaMan and its characters are 
from the cartoon loosely based on the video games, not sure who has the 
rights, but no infringement is intended in either case.

				Part Three

	Because of her large database of general knowledge, the classes
 were easy for Roll, except debate, which required skills she'd never had to 
acquire.  Not that Ranma and Akane were any better at it; it was pretty 
clear their idea of rhetorical argument involved lots of physical motion.
	At lunch, they were joined by a girl in a boy's uniform, who had 
a giant spatula strapped to her back.
	"Hi, I'm Ukyou Kuonji.  Ranma's *fiancee*."  There was that 
emphasis again.
	"I did not know that polygamy was legal in Japan at this time."
	"It's not," replied Akane.  "Mine is the only legitimate engagement."
	"You weren't even born yet!  Ranma was promised to me!"
	"He didn't even know you were a girl back then!"
	"Uncute shrew!"
	"Reverse dragster!"
	"Bad cook!"
	"ARRRH!"
	As the fiancees fought, Ranma chewed the okonomiyaki Ucchan had brought.
	"You humans have some confusing customs."
	"Tell me about it.  And you haven't met Shampoo or Kodachi yet."
	Ranma gave Roll a somewhat biased rundown on his love life.
	"Oh my."
	The only incident of note in the afternoon was the strange little 
man who came out of nowhere and grabbed Roll's breasts.  But he just 
muttered, "Silicone.  Feh!" and lost interest.
	After school, there was some discussion of how to spend the rest 
of the afternoon.
	"Ucchan's?"
	"I already fought her once today, remember?"
	"Oh yeah.  We didn't fight Shampoo or Mousse today or yesterday.  
How about the Nekohanten?"
	"Do you two really schedule your social life around who you've 
fought lately?"
	"Almost have to.  Ranma can't back down from a fight.  No matter 
how pointless it is.  And I guess I'm pretty much the same way, and so 
are most of the people we know.  So we all get into fights all the time."
	"Hmm, hardly anyone I know in the future fights.  Just MegaMan 
and Dr. Wiley's bots."
	"What's MegaMan like?"
	"Well, he's strong, and brave, and kind.  And I guess he's 
handsome, but he's my brother, so I'm kind of prejudiced."
	"Huh.  Hey, looks like ^RUMBLE^ rain."
	By the time they reached the ramen restaurant, they were soaked 
through.  Ranma tried to help Roll in, but Akane grabbed her arm instead.
	"Three beef ramens, please!"
	"Thank you Akane.  I feel like such a wimp!  Back home, I'm 
weaker than my brother, sure, but this human form just keeps falling over."
	"That's because you haven't been taking care of it properly.  Now 
eat up.  I may not like Shampoo or her Granny much, but this stuff is 
definitely nutritious."
	"Ranma have new *fiancee*?"  That tone again!
	"No, Shampoo, Roll is *not* engaged to me."
	"Oh, is girl you phone about.  No, not remember her from village."
	Roll looked up.  A very cute Chinese girl with purple hair was 
holding the steaming ramen bowls.  Behind her was an old woman leaning on 
a walking stick.
	"Your aura is very unusual."
	"I'm a robot, at least when I'm normal."
	"Shampoo thought robots all shiny metal, go beep-boop-bing, not 
alive, not have aura."
	"All things have spirits, granddaughter.  And if the spirit is 
strong enough, the Juusenkyo (it is that, dear?  I thought so) can be 
attached to it."
	"So what you're saying is, I have a soul?"
	"That is one possible interpretation. But I am not a priest."
	For once, and for a wonder, this concept distracted Shampoo from 
making a pass at Ranma, and the snack went on in peace.
	As she ate the hot noodles spread warmth through Roll's body.  
She found herself gazing at Ranma as she chewed.  Even as the transformed 
boy gobbled his food, there was something--exciting about him.  She began 
to imagine herself in his arms again, comforted as he spoke words from 
one of those old romantic movies.
	"Helloooo, Roll!  Did you know your irises are turning into 
little pink hearts?"
	"Oh!  No, is that bad?"  Judging by Akane's frown, it was.
	"I think," said Ranma, "for your and my safety both, you should 
be a robot again.  After you finish eating."
	Her heartbeat returned to its normal 60 beats per minute as she 
poured the hot water over herself.  As her body cooled, so did her 
passion and now that hormones weren't affecting her thinking she 
recognized it for what it was.
	Superhuman hearing wasn't always a blessing.  Though Akane and 
Ranma were trying to keep their voices down, she could hear them arguing 
on the way home.  They were arguing about her.  She was saying that Ranma 
shouldn't encourage Roll, he was saying that he did nothing more than 
courtesy demanded.  She asked when he ever thought of courtesy; he 
accused her of being jealous of a robot.  She pointed out that Roll 
wasn't always a robot, and after that it degenerated into a shouting match.
	Roll certainly had no intention of falling in love with Ranma.  
It sounded like he had enough romantic problems already.  Besides, she 
was a robot, and robots didn't fall in love.  But when she was a human 
too, suddenly her feelings weren't as easy to handle.
	There was still no news that sounded anything like Dr. Wiley's 
work, so after winning five straight games of shogi with Mr. Saotome, 
then losing the last one when he abruptly turned into a panda and 
switched the pieces while she was distracted, she made herself human and 
went to sleep.
	The next few days became something of a blur.  Ranma got into 
fights a lot; it seemed like everyone in the neighborhood had some sort 
of grudge against at least two other people.  Roll tried to ignore her 
attraction to him, and largely succeeded, as long as she was a robot.  
Roll learned about cooking from Kasumi, and it was simple once you knew 
how.  Of course you needed human taste buds to fully appreciate it!
	Roll went on a date with the extremely persistent Kunou.  
Unfortunately, he proved to be a limited conversationalist.  She learned 
more than she ever wanted to about a) what a great swordsman Kunou was; 
b) how annoying his crazy sister and father were; and c) the relative 
merits of Akane and "the pig-tailed girl."  The latter was in fact Ranma, 
Kunou never having been able to understand the transformations.  Perhaps 
if she had been human at the time, she thought, the hormones would have 
made her not mind so much, but as a robot (Kunou didn't seem to grok that 
either) she was quickly bored.
	With rest and food her human form began to recover, and Akane 
helped her work out.  This life was beginning to be comfortable, but at 
night she still missed her brother and creator.
	Then the break came.  It was Nabiki who found it, although unwittingly.
	"This looks like a good investment opportunity.  Lee Enterprises 
has just developed a new 'fuzzy logic' computer chip that looks to be 
years ahead of the competition."
	"Have they solved the Liebnitz transduction barrier problem?" 
asked Kasumi.
	"Lessee, yes, using an osmium-beryllium sponge alloy."
	"Osmium-beryllium sponge?  Let me see that!"
	Roll confirmed her fears.  "This is one of Dr. Light's earliest 
inventions!  It laid the whole groundwork for intelligent robots.  But he 
won't invent it for decades!"
	"Says here a Dr. Yang Lee invented it."
	"Yang Lee?  Y. Lee, Dr. Wiley!  It must be him!"
	"I get it," said Nabiki.  "If he 'invents' this stuff now, your 
Dr. Light is out of a job.  Heck, with the possible repercussions from 
this, he might not even become a scientist."
	"There's an address on this prospectus.  I've got to stop him!"
	"You mean *we've* got to stop him," said Ranma, putting a hand on 
her shoulder.
	"Thanks, Ranma, but Dr. Wiley has a small army of superpowered 
robots.  You're only human!"
	"I can take any dumb old robot.  Besides, when I said 'we', I 
didn't mean just me and you.  Right, Akane?"
	"Right, Ranma!  Glad to see you're finally giving me some credit."
	"You may not be as good as me, but you're definitely violent."
	"Ranma you jerk!"
	While the two were fighting, Nabiki suggested a plan (for a small 
fee) and she and Roll began making phone calls.

	TO BE CONTINUED...

	Next time:  Violence!

SKJAM!
"But most of all, I wish that I were someone else but me" 

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